Isabelle, I would ask you if there is a guy who can talk to your son. There is nothing that will ruin all future blow jobs for a guy than the memory of his mother stumbling her way through an explanation.
metroshane, one of the points we were very clear on with our daughter is that sex is not shameful or dirty. We pointed out that everyone has sex. Mommy and Daddy have sex, too, and are not at all ashamed of it. That seemed to help more than anything. If your child respects you, then I think it helps to point out that respectable people have sex too.
Isabelle, we didn’t really discuss technique, but we were fairly detailed other than that. We focused on factual definitions of what oral sex is, mostly clinical, and we talked about the feelings and emotions that can come with oral sex, and with sex in general. When she asked why people do that, we explained that it can feel good for both giver and receiver, in different ways. It’s another way of being close, and there’s nothing “wrong” with it per se. We were also careful to explain that most of the same STD’s that can be passed on through intercourse will also be passed on with oral sex, and they aren’t pretty.
We spent most of our time on the emotional aspect, as that was what she was most curious about at the time. We let her questions drive the conversation for a good part of it, but we steered it enough that we made sure to cover all the facts, too.
Most importantly, we were honest. The moments when we most felt like holding something back were the most critical ones: in most cases, that information was what she most needed to know. Be honest, and answer your child’s questions clearly. They’ll respect your answers (and you) the more for it.
No not really. I think asking my pastor would be a sick joke don’t you? Now I feel the sense of urgency to talk to him about this. But I certainly don’t want him scarred for life hearing about b/j from his mom. I think a trip to the bookstore would be in line.
>>>>You’re missing the larger problem: the increasing lack of common sense in today’s society and its propensity toward lawsuits. In other words, that mom appears to be one of those lawsuit-happy idiots.
It was just a joke.
I read my first supermarket romance novel at 13… with my mother’s full knowledge. I did not have sex until I was nearly 19.
Oh, and regarding that Beaver College timeline: Did you see the entry for 1934?
Dr. Ruth Loving Higgins appointed Dean
I wish I’d gotten hummers on the bus…
I knew what it was in 5th grade when the principal called us all together to yell at us about the rumors of some girl giving blowjobs for a quarter. Ironically, none of us had heard the rumors until that day…
I’ll say that if my parents had brought up sex with me and the fact that grown men might be chasing me, and reasons why this would be a negative - I probably would not have lost my virginity to a 19 year old at 13…after learning ALLLLLLL about oral sex from a 24 year old the year before.
Isabelle, just jump on in with your son. Acknowledge that hormones are powerful as hell, and when he’s ready for it, it will feel damn good - but he should choose wisely and well the time and the person that he explores those feelings with. (Luckily I wont need to have this convo with my own son for at least 10 years - I hope.)
And I forgot… congratulations metroshane!
Wow… free advertising?
I know, I know… I’m going to Hell.
thanks
Oh, okay. Hard for me to tell sometimes.
My parents didn’t tell me jack shit.
When I was in the 4th grade (I went to Catholic school) I overheard girls talking about a period So I wrote a note to the nun and I asked her if she would tell me what a period was but not the one after a sentence. She called me up after class and said you better ask your mother. Well I knew better then to do that. I think I finally learned about the cycle of a woman in the 6th grade by watching movies with paper bags taped over the windows so the boys coulnd’t see in.
I did ask my dad once what oral sex was. (I don’t know how old I was) I said “is that with 2 guys and a girl?” He gave me the standard response “You’ll understand when you get older” I don’t know how old I was when I learned.
I went on the pill when I was 15 and my father found out. When I came home from school he had a shot gun on the table. He made me dump my purse and he found the pills. He beat me on the spot. Told me I was not going to use them.
That was a big mistake. I got pregnant 6 months later.
I always believed I would be upfront and tell my kids about the facts of life. I never wanted them to go thru what I did. I think I have done a pretty good job so far. This stupid thread has made me realize I need to get on the stick with my 13 year old. I think I should go to a book store and see what I can find and then I’m not sure about finding a cool guy to tell him about it.
At the point I opened this thread, there were 69 replies…
Don’t worry Isabelle, if your 13 year old has access to the net, he already knows more about sex than you probably ever want to find out.
They may be a bit outdated now but I had a partial set of the Time Life Science Library when I was his age. My parents didn’t tell me much either though I did get a lot of info out of the Body, Growth and Health volumes.
Damn. This thread is getting more hits than a 13 year old school girl who gives blowjobs for a quarter . . .
Sorry.
Maybe I should bid that set myself, might help my SO get her GED.
one thing I haven’t seen mentioned yet - depending on the laws in the jurisdiction, it’s entirely possible that one of the participants could be charged w/a sex crime. and, of course, again depending on the jurisdiction may have to register as a sex offender.
I’m not ‘in favor’ of 13 year olds having sexual contact, but I think it’s idiotic to assume that it could never happen, or that if it happens there had to be coercion (not that it’s impossible for there to have been coercion, but at this point, I would think it’ll be impossible to ascertain).
Well, at least the girl will be VERY popular…or get a reputation as a slut and be very unpopular. Either way, I can’t imagine that being caught giving head on a bus and having a big deal made about it would do much for the self esteem of a 13 year old girl. Hope she’s able to get through this OK.
Finally found the quotes I was looking for.