- A pulse
- You have Penis and/or Vagina, and at least 1 working hand.
Well, at least you aren’t sick and pale looking!
Or balance well.
Solved: Origin of “Frosted” Flakes concept.
#15. Untrustworthiness.
Ooooh, that explains most of Congress and Senate!
Wankers.
I baste my flakes with milk before eating. Therefore, I’m a ‘master baster.’
I have a bizarre 1875 book called Chastity, or Our Secret Sins by Dio Lewis, which is largely an anti-wanking diatribe. Some excerpts, here.
“Spermatic plethora?”
At least now I have a name for my rock band.
I have to disagree. I think of “mutual masturbation” as a sex act, but not sex and definately not masturbating. My SO (who is pretty religious) and I (more spiritual than religious, but I respect her beliefs) aren’t going to have sex for a long time, but we have no problems with hand jobs. You can call it whatever you want “mutual masturbation,” “hand jobs,” whatever. Its’ still a sex act. Anything that is sexual that involves two or more people is a sex act. Kissing, licking, I can even make a case for hand holding as a sex act. Sex is pentration, though that can get fuzzy too. What about oral sex? If that isn’t that what about lesbians? That’s a whole 'nother thread.
So yeah, I don’t think you’re going to hell for giving or getting a hand job, but that’s not my decision.
Bashfullness and boldness? Now I’m confused. And need a little “alone time”.
SDMB Promotions Proudly Presents:
Masturbating Alice
and
Spermatic Plethora!
They’ve got rocknroll in their soul and their hands in their pants!
Seriously, I read about Kellogg, he was seriously flaky on the whole masturbation thing. Devised SM-like devices to keep young boys from abusing themselves at night, with spikes and straps and things going places they shouldn’t oughtta go …
Physician, heal thyself!
Oh, man, lieu…my keyboard is grateful I wasn’t drinking coffee.
I beg to disagree.
It ought to be ** Masturbating Alice and THE Spermatic Plethora** !!!
<-----gales of laughter. I’ve got 5 of the symptoms and there is NO WAY I’m saying which 5.
And I masturbate. So, I think this guy was fulla cornflakes. 
Cartooniverse
I enjoyed a healthy session of mastication at breakfast. I will masticate again at lunch. I love to masticate. I do it at least twice daily.
All the young girls love masturbating Alice?
Reality it seems was just a dream
She couldn’t get it on with the boys on the scene
But what do you expect from a chick who’s just sixteen
And hey, hey, hey, you know what I mean
Ummm… apparently we do.
Did you ever see the movie Road to Wellville? It was also a book. But it was pure fiction so I’m sure they made everything up. Even the part where they electrocuted their… never mind. Like I said, I’m sure they just made the whole thing up.
::::It don’t mean a thing if your thang don’t schwing do woop do woop do woop:::::::::
While in the service, I had a friend (male) who’s favorite saying on the subject was:
“Guys who say they don’t jerk off are liars. Guys who say the used to, but don’t anymore, are DAMN LIARS.”
Does anyone else have the song “When I think about you I Touch Myself” trapped in their head right now??