I agree with Iggy. This young man’s whole life has been altered by a greedy woman who stole his chance to go through the normal process of dating and discovery.
She was also certainly old enough to be responsible about birth control.
If she’s impetuous or uncaring enough to have sex with multiple students, then it’s a fairly safe bet that unprotected sex is a common thing for her. Goodness only knows what STDs she might have been carrying.
This is how rape culture happens. Young men are encouraged to view casual or even predatory sex as normal. They are taught that innocence is effeminate and they don[t have a right to protection from lewd or vulgar images that may twist their attractions and attitudes.
Twaddle. There are quite a few young men who take it very seriously. There are quite a few young women who do not. A lot depends on what you see around you growing up, and whether the adults you see are more love based or sex based.
Society has decided that young men deserve protection from predators just as much as young women do. Yay for us!!!
I really, really, really, really wish that people would stop talking about “children” as if there were no differences between a 5-year-old and a 16-year-old.
I would like to remind everybody that the boy in question is considered by society to be mature enough to safely pilot a 2-ton machine of (potential) death through crowded streets.
Generally speaking, teens can use firearms. They can’t OWN them, but USE is perfectly ok in most jurisdictions. In many places, even 14-year-olds can have a job, although there are many restrictions on what they can do.
So go ahead and criticize the teacher if you want to – but in the name of all that’s sensible and rational, remember that a 16-year-old is much closer to being an adult than to being a true child.
I would support the school being required to pay any and all expenses that would otherwise be required for the teenage boy to pay as child support for the baby, for the entirety of the baby’s life.
Damages payable to him or his family only if a thorough psychiatric evaluation can say that he has actually suffered actual psychological harm from the experience, and if such actual harm exists, damages would be dependent on the harm - at minimum, costs for psychological treatment.
People seem to think that when teenage girls have sex with teachers it’s happening in a dirty rape dungeon somewhere while she’s desperately screaming for him to stop. Boys, on the other hand, are on the set of the greatest porno ever. In reality, for both genders, it usually seems like a good idea in the beginning. It’s not your idea though.
So think about your 16 year old self in this situation. A beautiful mature woman is interested in you. How cool is that, you stud you. It’s so awesome to have a cool beautiful girlfriend give all these great sexual experiences to you. She’s not your girlfriend though. She’s a predator. She doesn’t care about you. She only cares about what she can take from you.
She knows all your insecurities and how to manipulate them. Making you feel great for having the attention of an older woman while subtly implying no one else would ever want you. So despite some niggling thoughts in the back of your mind you go along with it because you’re a horny teenage boy and that’s what horny teenage boys are supposed to do, right? And it’s great in the beginning. She’s so sweet and loving. The sex is so awesome. Now she starts demanding more and more of your time. You start to constantly lie to your family and friends where you’re spending your time. Slowly, but surely, she starts berating you for your imperfections. Calling you an idiot (not in the lovable way) when you say something stupid. Criticizing you performance in bed. Speaking of sex, it’s now more about her and “no” is no longer an answer. It was in the beginning. She was understanding and sympathetic when you couldn’t perform, or came too early. Now, not so much.
Now those niggling thoughts are at front of your mind and you decide to call it off. You try but she then goes back to sweet and loving. She tells you she loves you. “Don’t you love her?” You have really no frame of reference on what love is so you say “I love you” back. The really fucked up thing is that in the moment you really believe you do. Everything goes back to how it was in the beginning, for awhile. The berating and demands slowly come back and start to get worse. You grades are slipping. Your family starts to notice something wrong with you. You try to break up again and now the real claws come out. “I’ll kill myself and blame you.” “I’ll tell everyone you raped me.” “Nobody but me would want someone that pathetic.”
All pretense of sex being about anything but her is dropped. After she comes she pushes you away like you’re a used condom. She starts to hit you. Not hard, or in the face, but it’s just another humiliation on the pile. You start having moments you far later recognize as panic attacks. You feel stuck and worthless. You haphazardly try to commit suicide. Not because you really want to die. You just want to get away from her, from feeling utterly worthless and used.
The truth comes out and there’s a trial that’s long and exhausting. All the while hearing comments like “LOL I would have traded my left testicle to be in this guy’s shoes.” In the end she doesn’t even get jail time but at least you’re rid of her and not bound to her forever through, lets say, a baby. It takes over a decade of therapy to get to a point where you could even think about being involved with a woman. You keep expecting for a trap to be sprung. For the claws to come out. To being berated and used. To be made to feel utterly worthless.
Very astute post IMO. As I said before, what I consider reasonable damages depend on the facts of the particular case. I have not seen anything to suggest to me that the young man was harmed anywhere near $6 mill worth.
Violent buggering, extreme youth, or countless other factors could serve to increase damages IMO, but I saw no mention of such factors in the limited reports I saw.
Of course, the settlement/damages could serve the function of dissuading this and other organizations from acting similarly in the future.
It wouldn’t make any difference. He’d still be expected to pay his lawyers and the tax man based on the fair market value (FMV) of the stocks he was given. He’d have to sell enough stocks or raise enough money from other sources to pay the lawyers and the tax collectors.
I don’t think the boy’s age is even all that important. It’s the power imbalance that makes the idea that the boy freely consented to be suspect. Teachers should not be having sex with their students. Bosses should not have sex with their employees. Coaches should not be having sex with their athletes. If you have a lot of power over someone’s life, sex should be off limits, period.
This boy was raped, and he is probably severely traumatized, and people laughing and saying he was “lucky” is rather nauseating.
When I was 16, I was having sex with much older college boys. There was no emotional connection, just lots of hormones involved and consent was freely given so no trauma occurred. However, a teacher pressuring you into sex? Totally different situation.
It is true that many people of any gender develop “crushes” on teachers, bosses, and so forth, and may not act in their own best interests, which is why it is so important that those in the power position not be allowed to abuse their power.
Absolutely, in both cases. I think damages should only be awarded if harm has happened regardless of who was involved. I see no reason to assume harm has occurred simply because someone had sex with a minor while in a position of power over them. Harm is certainly possible in that scenario, but it is also quite possible that the minor has no problem with it and it caused no actual harm.
Further, I think suggesting that an examination to determine whether someone has been hurt is tantamount to rape is ridiculous far beyond the point of hyperbole. If no harm actually took place, it shouldn’t be usable as an excuse to profit, and if someone is claiming they were harmed to such a degree that they deserve considerable compensation, they should be required to prove the harm occurred.
He has a child now. Of course he has been affected by that. If someone were to say he could opt out of being a father to the child - maybe, but I know if I were to be having a child, it would cause me great distress knowing that I have a child out there that I gave up due to these circumstances.
And it’s wrong when there is no age difference. In this case the issue isn’t even only or mainly the age difference, but the fact that she was in a position of authority over him.
Having your ass grabbed by a random dude in the subway <> having your ass grabbed by your teacher.
This conversation on damages fails to realize that sometimes the damages assessed are punitive damages, not necessarily based on how much harm there is to the individual, but as a punishment to the offending party. Why does the person who file the suit get it? Because we as a society want to encourage people to unveil this sort of horrible behavior (such as what the school was doing) as an impetus to change. Obviously the government wasn’t doing anything about it and without the individual law suit this sort of behavior would never have come to light. Now maybe the school can actually change their practice.
No damages were awarded. The $6 million payout is the result of a settlement, not a judgment. In any event, the school district is likely self-insured up to about a million, with an excess carrier covering the balance.
I realize your repulsive sexist attitudes are reinforced throughout your waking moments by the media and advertising you seek out, but I look forward to the day the scales fall from your eyes and you see the part you’ve played in the damage those attitudes have done to your own children. And from that day forward may you never rest well again.