“So, what kind of things do you like to do for fun?” she asked.
“Hurting people,” he replied.
I had to reread this one. Then I laughed.
The enticing aroma filling the house told me that the coffee was finally ready. I opened the refrigerator only to realize that there was no milk.
I climbed through the hatch of the Temporal Displacement Capsule, happy to be back in my own hometime.
“President Palin is on the phone and she wants to personally welcome you back, Major!” said Doctor Smith.
I actually LOL’d at this one. 
I don’t get why some people have trouble sleeping in a strange bed. I’ve slept soundly in a stranger’s skin.
The police found no intruder, and we never got an explanation for the mysteriously ringing phone, or for the faint lingering scent of incense in an upstairs bedroom. And my wife’s missing stuffed bear has still not turned up…
Seriously?
Ooh, creepy!
They said it was impossible to devise a chemical that would dissolve an entire human being leaving nothing behind except the naked brain writhing in agony. They were wrong.
He sat in the library, engrossed in his book and absently stroking the dog lying beside his chair. Then the thought penetrated his mind, “I don’t own a dog.”
He shot straight up in bed, screaming; his mother attempted to comfort him, saying, “It’s okay, dear, you were just having a bad dream.”
He shot straight up in bed, screaming; his mother attempted to comfort him, saying, “It’s okay, dear, you were just having a bad dream…”
[Yes, a variation on Bryan’s #23 above, so sue me…]
Indeed I would, but mine’s not exactly completely original, either.
What you’re describing, though, is typical of a late-1980s horror anthology named for (and based very loosely on) the Nightmare on Elm Street films, called Freddy’s Nightmares: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Series. I like to call such shows “a human head” stories, for this exaggerated example:
In a typical episode, a teenager would be walking along, minding his own business, when suddenly a van full of chainsaws would crash into him, its buzzing slicing cargo flying about madly, dicing flesh and bone in a heady red mist of atomized blood as he screams in terror… and then the kid would wake up. “Wow, what a crazy dream!” Get dressed, go downstairs, find his mom in the kitchen. “Good morning, Mom. What’s for breakfast?” “Good morning, son. Just the usual eggs, bacon, toast… and a human head!” The mother would pull a severed human head from the fridge, its eyes flaming red, tongue flapping, gore dripping from severed neck, the teenager screams in terror… and then he wakes up again in his bed. Rinse, repeat five or six more times and the last “nightmare” is only “real” because the episode is over.
Two that aren’t mine, but are great.
I just finished reading this story, and the first paragraph is more than two sentences, but it’s so deliciously creepy, I feel obliged to edit it slightly to submit here:
(Seriously, if you like creepy atmosphere or weird fiction, check out The Dead Smile. The plot is extremely transparent, but the point is the creep factors along the way.)
And y’all won’t be surprised that I have to share what I consider one of the best story openings in history:
This one made my stomach lurch. Good job.
James Otto is the bestest singer in the world. God bless you and him always! :):)
“Jesus”, thought David, “she’s a fighter, like my sister.” His sister had lasted almost 6 hours…
Scariest one yet.
Jesus, that *is *terrifying.
They are going to allow pictures on thjs board. Next will come animated smileys.
" ‘Where is Thumbkin?’ Hey! Where is Thumbkin?"