And one of my favorites:
“I don’t know why you’re so scared” said the clown to the little boy as they walked into the woods. “I’ve got to walk back out alone”.
Meth hooker?
Can I suggest ?:
'The beautiful young woman wiped a tear from her eye and smoothed the skirt of her white dress: “Mom, I’m so happy I get to be married in the same dress as Grandma.”
“Not married, dear, buried.”
[This way, they can both be buried.
Preferably alive.]
I posted this one elsewhere, but here goes:
The stranger wearing my face smiles, and shouts upstairs, “Just finishing this project in the basement, Honey!” I strain against the gag as she tells him dinner is getting cold.
The cries from the baby monitor woke me up in the middle of the night. “Weird” I thought to myself, “I’m pretty sure I threw this thing away five years ago, after the funeral.”
<shudder>
I agree. This is one of the ones that has stuck with me.
Brilliantly written
ETA: The post by corkboard, not the word shudder
Son1: That’s bullship!
Son2: You said shit!
Me: No, he said ship.
Son1: Yeah, I said bullship not bullshit.
Son2: Now you said shit again.
Wife: Cut that shit out!
A small, silver ring fell down from the table, startling me, and I bent down to retrieve it. Then I remembered the victim had no hands.
The old and the weak didn’t last very long. After that the rest of us had plenty of food.
As she sat there, sky-clad, and waited for the verticies formed by subetheric particles created by the interdimensional helix device (cleverly disguised as an antenna) to lift her spirit into the Other Realm for a quick confab with the Powers of Light and Air while her body remained conveniently located at the helix device it was tied to (left alone, it tended to wander off and have sex with strangers, creating endless difficulties with her husband) her ability to reach 12th level consciousness was considerably diminished by mundane concerns about a truck bearing the legend “Spagnoli Brothers Roofing” that she had seen pull up to the front of the building a few moments ago. Plus, it was raining.
I kissed her lips and she smiled at me with tears in her eyes. Then I shut the lid of the coffin.
creepiest one yet -
crap! this is the wrong thread.
“This jelly-filled donut sure tastes strange.”
“I didn’t order any jelly-filled donuts.”
Now thats 2 sentences of horror! <gasp>
This really should be four sentences to work, but oh well:
Upon Harlan Ellison’s death, we discovered the real reason he never released The Last Dangerous Visions. A journalist to the end, Mr Ellison thought too many of the submissions did not meet his high standards for factual accuracy.
“God have mercy on me!” he gasped, as a chill ran down his spine. “This is . . . the wrong thread!”
Fredric Brown’s original, Knock, is better.
That scared the bejesus out of me.