I am thinking of an object. It is an object that you might see every day. What is it?
Do you see it at work?
Are you a tank?
That’s not my real question either…
Is it useful?
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
Is it a beer?
Mmmmmm, beer. 
I see it at work.
It is useful.
It is NOT bigger than a breadbox. My breadbox anyway.
It is NOT a beer.
Does it sit on your desk?
Do you often handle it or hold it in your hand?
[Bob the Dummy]
It’s round, it’s red, IT’S AN APPLE!
[/Bob the Dummy]
It sits on my desk.
I handle it often.
It is not an apple.
13 to go.
Animal, Vegetable or mineral?
Is it a telephone?
If not does it require a power source?
Is it a computer mouse?
How to put this.
It’s your johnson.
-
miamouse : It is definitely mineral
-
ninja_rydr : It is not a telephone.
-
ninja_rydr : It requires no electrical power.
-
Odieman : It is not a computer mouse
-
Dr. Schadenfreude : It is not my Johnson because of the following reasons:
You will not see it every day.
I see it at work, but nobody else does.
It isn’t a tank, but it does fire a load 
It is very useful.
If it were bigger than a breadbox, I’d be in porn.
Although it is not a beer, beer guarantees that it is more likely to be seen.
It doesn’t sit on my desk, except in unusual circumstances that I cannot discuss at this time.
Yes, I do handle it frequently, but that’s my business.
The object in question is Mineral. This is more like Animal. Specifically, trousertrout.
It’s not a telephone, but I don’t mind a mouth on it from time to time.
It’s not a computer mouse, but it’s more than good enough to pick up in your hand and play games with.
It’s a stapler!
Is it a calculator?
WINNER!
:bows:
ObStaplerQuote: “I believe you have my stapler? Please? Hmm?” --Milton
I’m a bad loser. You’ve obviously stapled your johnson to your desk. And you’re still at work.