I was cleaning out my drawers :::snicker::: and found a couple of things that I had forgotten about. At first I was going to toss most of them out, then I got a brainfart.
Without giving any clues other than “yes” or “no” answers to questions that you ask, I will mail the item to the first person who guesses correctly. The only catch is that you have to trust me enough to e-mail me your mailing address if you win so I can send your prize.
I have a small bag full of junk so we can play as long as you want. If not, it’s goin’ in the trash.
Clarification - is this a bag of similar items and you’ll send the whole bag to the person who guesses what they all are? Or a bunch of different items, and you’ve chosen one item for us to guess?
Would a guy want the item(s) much more desirable that a girl?
The hand-carved meerschaum pipe you had for 4 and a half years while you were dating Curtis Spangenbricker. Not only is the screen still jammed into the hole, clogged with long-since dried out resins but Curtis’ teethmarks still line the stem, from where he always used to gnaw upon it and shift it from one side to the other while declaring his absolutely undying love for you.
Your college I.D. card which has been slowly delaminating over the years, thus producing this interesting thing that looks like an immense Band-Aid, pulled half open with your image imprinted on the bandage’s surface.
Really old condoms.
Your high-school junior picture, when you had braces with headgear.
A 45 of Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana.”
A ceramic Buddha statue.
A “Virginia is for Lovers” bumper sticker.
Jolly Rancher candy, so old that the wrapper won’t come off.
Am I warm?
Ancient McDonalds “Build a Big Mac” game pieces, Green army men, “Barrel of monkeys” monkeys, Pez dispensers, wax lips, petrified Corn Nuts, a pair of Wonder Woman Underoos, Ghostly Grabbers, Frooty Freakies magnets, Charles Nelson Reilly in a banana suit, all those old “Thompson Twins” “Duran Duran” and “Cindi Lauper” pins you used to wear on your denim jacket circa 1983?
Do they smell like old cheese? Are they old cheese?
Would they respond well to a hug?
Have they had their shots?
Have they ever been featured in a Broadway musical?
Would they fulfill Canadian Content laws?
