25 Skills Every Man Should Know

[Leaffan]

Pff. Never mind. My pasting didn’t work properly…

[Onomatopoeia]

@Onomatopoeia

6. Back Up a Trailer NO …but I can back up a 35 foot cruiser into a ten-foot wide slip…

Correction. I shuould have said 16 foot wide slip, not 10. I’d be a miracle worker if I could back a cruiser into a slip narrower than the cruiser itself. Heh.

[Rick]

As I said in the other thread, I can do, or have done them all.
In addition in reading parts of the other thread, I can also
Make a woman’s eyes glaze over with a kiss
Preform cunnilingus expertly
Cook a gourmet meal, or if you prefer I can do traditional pit style BBQ
Feed, and clothe a baby
Use a chain saw
Change a tire (quickly a disappearing skill I have observed)
Maneuver my way through a wine list
And most of the Heinlein list. (I probably can’t write a sonnet)
As I said n the other thread, women may swoon, men may bow to my manliness.

[Goddess_Kalea]

Female, 33 years old.

2. Protect Your Computer
3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized
4. Retouch Digital Photos
5. Back Up a Trailer
6. Build a Campfire
7. Navigate with a Map and Compass
8. Use a Torque Wrench
9. Sharpen a Knife
10. Perform CPR
11. Fillet a Fish
12. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
13. Back Up Data
14. Paint a Room
15. Mix Concrete
16. Change Oil and Filter
17. Paddle a Canoe
18. Extend Your Wireless Network

Most of the computer things, few of the car/home maintenance things. Mr. Kalea is about the opposite, so between us we cover the list.

[Rick]

@Onomatopoeia

Correction. I shuould have said 16 foot wide slip, not 10. I’d be a miracle worker if I could back a cruiser into a slip narrower than the cruiser itself. Heh.

Not a problem, you just have to approach it with more speed.
About 90 mph should be adequate if my calculations are correct.

The thing about backing a trailer is the relationship between the wheelbase of the tow vehicle vs the distance between the hitch and the trailer wheels.
A short tow vehicle with a long trailer is a piece of cake. A long tow vehicle with a short trailer is a son-ofa-bitch. If your trailer is shorter than your tow vehicle wheelbase, it is a cast iron SOB.
Backing a trailer is way different than parking a boat in a slip.

[Monstre]

@RickJay

And i’ll say now what I said then; it must have been some pretty colossal nerd who made up a list of 25 basic life skills for a man that includes four different computer skills ("Extend your wireless network - why would I even need to do that?) but doesn’t include anything to do with women.

Seriously.

26. Cause multiple orgasms.

[askeptic]

27. Fix Christmas lights

[Waverly]

@Gfactor

If you had to make a similar list for women, how would it differ?

The first 15 would relate to fellatio.

[lieu]

@Rick

Preform cunnilingus expertly

With what… Plaster of Paris?

[Projammer]

Meh.

I did all of that before lunch… Including the multple orgasms.

Saving Heinlein’s list for this afternoon.

[dwc1970]

Guy checking in here.

1. Patch a Radiator Hose- Never done this, never had to do it, no sure my attempt would be successful since I know next to nothing about cars.
2. Protect Your Computer- This I can do. Score one point for me.
3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized- Hell, I can’t even swim!
4. Frame a Wall- I doubt it. The wall would come a-tumblin’ down.
5. Retouch Digital Photos- Easy, that’s two for me.
6. Back Up a Trailer- Into a barn or shed, probably, knowing my luck.
7. Build a Campfire- Done this, not too tough (that’s three).
8. Fix a Dead Outlet- Never tried, wouldn’t want to be fried.
9. Navigate with a Map and Compass- Piece of cake (four so far)
10. Use a Torque Wrench- I think I could do this depending on what I am using the wrench for (I’m up to five).
11. Sharpen a Knife- It may not look pretty, but if it’s sharper than it was before, I’ll give that a pass (six points now).
12. Perform CPR- I’d do my best if I were the only guy around to save someone, but I’d feel awful if I failed and the person died anyway. No points here.
13. Fillet a Fish- Nope, not at all.
14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid- I’d know what to do if it happened, but fortunately for me this part of driver’s training has never been needed to be put into practice. I think I can give myself this one still.
15. Get a Car Unstuck- The couple of times in my life I have gotten stuck in snow or mud I was eventually able to free my vehicle, but the experience was nerve-wrackingly awful, so I was probably not going about it the right way.
16. Back Up Data- I do this all the time (eight out of 16 so far).
17. Paint a Room- Sloppily, maybe, but yeah, I could probably do it. (I’ll generously give myself a point here).
18. Mix Concrete- Again, I have an idea of what needs to be done here, so let’s say I am up to ten points.
19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle- I don’t think I could clean a .22 or even a BB gun for that matter.
20. Change Oil and Filter- I help keep places like Jiffy Lube in business.
21. Hook Up an HDTV- I’m not up on the latest technology but I’m sure I could figure it out (11 points).
22. Bleed Brakes- I wouldn’t know where to start.
23. Paddle a Canoe- I’ve seen it done enough to know what to do. (12 points).
24. Fix a Bike Flat- Maybe. I did it as a kid, anyway. (13)
25. Extend Your Wireless Network- No problem (that’s 14).

So I can do 14 of these things to at least a passing degree of skill. I hope I can still keep my “man card”.

[askeptic]

@Waverly

The first 15 would relate to fellatio.

HAH! So true…

[MsRobyn]

@Gfactor

If you had to make a similar list for women, how would it differ?

In all seriousness?

1. Change a light bulb
2. Hook up an appliance
3. Assemble furniture
4. Reset a circuit breaker/change a fuse
5. Light a stove pilot
6. Where the toolbox is and how to use the tools
7. When to call for help if needed

I’m sure most of the women here can do all of those things; I know I can. But if Airman isn’t home and a light bulb goes out, it’s comforting to know that I can change it safely. Ditto for the rest of these things.

Those would be the ones I’d throw in to replace such manly (and, frankly, unnecessary) tasks as framing a wall, filleting a fish and cleaning a bolt-action rifle.

Robin

[askeptic]

@dwc1970

Guy checking in here.

1. Patch a Radiator Hose- Never done this, never had to do it, no sure my attempt would be successful since I know next to nothing about cars.
2. Protect Your Computer- This I can do. Score one point for me.
3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized- Hell, I can’t even swim!
4. Frame a Wall- I doubt it. The wall would come a-tumblin’ down.
5. Retouch Digital Photos- Easy, that’s two for me.
6. Back Up a Trailer- Into a barn or shed, probably, knowing my luck.
7. Build a Campfire- Done this, not too tough (that’s three).
8. Fix a Dead Outlet- Never tried, wouldn’t want to be fried.
9. Navigate with a Map and Compass- Piece of cake (four so far)
10. Use a Torque Wrench- I think I could do this depending on what I am using the wrench for (I’m up to five).
11. Sharpen a Knife- It may not look pretty, but if it’s sharper than it was before, I’ll give that a pass (six points now).
12. Perform CPR- I’d do my best if I were the only guy around to save someone, but I’d feel awful if I failed and the person died anyway. No points here.
13. Fillet a Fish- Nope, not at all.
14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid- I’d know what to do if it happened, but fortunately for me this part of driver’s training has never been needed to be put into practice. I think I can give myself this one still.
15. Get a Car Unstuck- The couple of times in my life I have gotten stuck in snow or mud I was eventually able to free my vehicle, but the experience was nerve-wrackingly awful, so I was probably not going about it the right way.
16. Back Up Data- I do this all the time (eight out of 16 so far).
17. Paint a Room- Sloppily, maybe, but yeah, I could probably do it. (I’ll generously give myself a point here).
18. Mix Concrete- Again, I have an idea of what needs to be done here, so let’s say I am up to ten points.
19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle- I don’t think I could clean a .22 or even a BB gun for that matter.
20. Change Oil and Filter- I help keep places like Jiffy Lube in business.
21. Hook Up an HDTV- I’m not up on the latest technology but I’m sure I could figure it out (11 points).
22. Bleed Brakes- I wouldn’t know where to start.
23. Paddle a Canoe- I’ve seen it done enough to know what to do. (12 points).
24. Fix a Bike Flat- Maybe. I did it as a kid, anyway. (13)
25. Extend Your Wireless Network- No problem (that’s 14).

So I can do 14 of these things to at least a passing degree of skill. I hope I can still keep my “man card”.

You realize you just admitted to being a complete doofus?

[Chefguy]

Done it all, repeatedly. Fear me.

[Leaffan]

OK - Let’s try that again.

1. Patch a Radiator Hose - No (Why wouldn’t you just replace the hose? Or is this a stuck at the side of the road question?)
2. Protect Your Computer - Yes
3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized - No
4. Frame a Wall - Yes
5. Retouch Digital Photos - No
6. Back Up a Trailer - Yes
7. Build a Campfire - Yes
8. Fix a Dead Outlet - yes
9. Navigate with a Map and Compass - Yes
10. Use a Torque Wrench - Yes
11. Sharpen a Knife - Yes
12. Perform CPR - No
13. Fillet a Fish - Yes
14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid - Yes
15. Get a Car Unstuck - Yes (Just this morning. Wife’s car.)
16. Back Up Data - Yes
17. Paint a Room - Yes
18. Mix Concrete - Yes
19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle - No (I’ve never even touched a gun of any kind.)
20. Change Oil and Filter - Yes
21. Hook Up an HDTV - Yes
22. Bleed Brakes - Yes
23. Paddle a Canoe - Yes
24. Fix a Bike Flat - Yes
25. Extend Your Wireless Network - No.

Dumb list anyway.

[Duke_of_Rat]

@gigi

1. Patch a Radiator Hose
   Hell, I can patch the radiator it’s attached to.

2. Protect Your Computer
   With a bolt action rifle, or a router/firewall? Yes, either way.

3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized
   Yep, sailboat, canoe, bass boat, and jet-ski so far.

4. Frame a Wall
   Yep.

5. Retouch Digital Photos
   Yep, I’ve done a few Photoshop jobs on friends.

6. Back Up a Trailer
   Yep, kind of a must if you own a boat on a trailer. And you have to be fast, nothing says “asswipe” like getting jack knifed on the ramp.

7. Build a Campfire
   Yeah, but will admit that the only time I’ve done it without matches or lighter was in boy scouts.

8. Fix a Dead Outlet
   Well, wire one up in the wall I framed. Can’t recall ever having to troubleshoot a dead one.

9. Navigate with a Map and Compass
   Oh please. GPS hasn’t been around THAT long.

10. Use a Torque Wrench
    Yes, but more important is the re-building of the engine upon which I am torquing the bolts.

11. Sharpen a Knife
    Yes. I have numerous whetstones, oil stones, super fine razor hones, steels, even a couple of razor strops.

12. Perform CPR
    I’ve taken the course, never had to use it in a real life situation. I’m squeemish of puke, but I’d try.

13. Fillet a Fish
    Yes, see “trailer backing, boat” and “sharpen, knife”.

14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
    Oh yeah. Been doing this for years, on purpose, before front wheel drive and “drifting” came along.

15. Get a Car Unstuck
    God yes. I’ve had a lot of experience driving in all types of weather down roads that were not designed to last more than a month (unless gas/oil were found, then they would improve the road).

16. Back Up Data
    Oh yeah. Getting the data back off of an antique tape drive back-up that was set up to run in Win 3.1? Why yes.

17. Paint a Room
    :rolleyes: Yeah, since I was in about 2nd grade, when my dad remodeled the house.

18. Mix Concrete
    Better yet, have my own concrete mixer.

19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle
    Yeah. Lots of other firearms as well.

20. Change Oil and Filter
    Every 3 months/3000 miles.

21. Hook Up an HDTV
    Hmmm… I hooked up my own satellite dish, hooked my stereo up to my TV, hooked my computer up to my stereo/TV. I’m betting I can hook up a HDTV when that time comes.

22. Bleed Brakes
    As well as do the entire brake job leading up to why the brakes need bleeding.

23. Paddle a Canoe
    Yes sir. Been on several multi-day canoe excursions. See “rescue capsized boater, canoe”.

24. Fix a Bike Flat
    Yep, since I was basically old enough to ride a bike.

25. Extend Your Wireless Network
    Got me. I don’t have a wireless network.

I can also do the one handed bra, induce multiple orgasms, all that stuff. I can probably make a woman’s eyes glaze over, but knowing Lieu, my method would be less stressful on the rest of her respiratory system.

[corkboard]

Change a lightbulb? Really? Is there anyone over the age of 10, of either gender, that can’t do this?

What about how to:
-tie a tie
-change a baby’s diaper
-mix a drink
-talk an obnoxious drunk out of starting a bar fight
-cunnilingus (I know it was said already, but it deserves another mention)
-apologize, and
-throw a spiral?

If cleaning a bolt-action rifle is a requirement for being a man, I guess it sucks for me :rolleyes: .

[askeptic]

@Duke of Rat

I can also do the one handed bra, induce multiple orgasms, all that stuff. I can probably make a woman’s eyes glaze over, but knowing Lieu, my method would be less stressful on the rest of her respiratory system.

Dude, just so you know the “induce multiple orgasm” thing, has more to do with the woman than the man. A woman who doesn’t have multiple orgasms isn’t going to have them no matter how good a cocksman you are. In other words… :rolleyes:

[Duke_of_Rat]

@askeptic

Dude, just so you know the “induce multiple orgasm” thing, has more to do with the woman than the man. A woman who doesn’t have multiple orgasms isn’t going to have them no matter how good a cocksman you are. In other words… :rolleyes:

OK, “have induced multiple orgasms in more than one woman”. Happy? :rolleyes: