What about tying a bow-tie, which I can do, but seems to be a a dying skill?
I’ve been thinking more about #15
When you’re stuck, don’t gun the engine to get out — the tires will only dig in deeper. Instead, straighten the steering wheel, then dig out as much sand, snow or mud from around the front or rear of the tires as you can, depending on the direction you want to go. Place a floor mat snugly under a portion of each drive wheel (if your vehicle is 4wd, position a mat under each wheel). Ease the vehicle onto the mats. If there’s a passenger, have him push the vehicle in the direction you want to go. Repeat the procedure as needed, slowly progressing in the direction of travel until the vehicle is free.
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If I had a passenger with me, it wouldn’t be an issue. The times I’ve gotten stuck it was just me and a dark snowy night, or that one time in mud season when the Security guys stood around and decided “Ayuh, you’re stuck”.
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And in mud season, I’m not sure a floor mat would do much.
Of course a woman has never faked an orgasm. I am glad you been able to please so many women, but I was just sayin’…
[1. Patch a Radiator Hose - yep, although replacing is a better choice
2. Protect Your Computer - yep
3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized - yep, if canoes count
4. Frame a Wall - yep; built a shed with my dad and brother. I can roof too.
5. Retouch Digital Photos - yep
6. Back Up a Trailer - yep; learned about 3 weeks ago
7. Build a Campfire - yep
8. Fix a Dead Outlet - sort of; seen it done, but havne’t done it yet
9. Navigate with a Map and Compass - yep
10. Use a Torque Wrench - yep
11. Sharpen a Knife - yep
12. Perform CPR - yep
13. Fillet a Fish - yep
14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid - yep
15. Get a Car Unstuck - nope
16. Back Up Data - yep
17. Paint a Room - yep
18. Mix Concrete - yep
19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle - yep; pistols of all sorts too
20. Change Oil and Filter - yep
21. Hook Up an HDTV - nope, although how hard could it be?
22. Bleed Brakes - yep
23. Paddle a Canoe - yep
24. Fix a Bike Flat - yep (the real trick is installing and adjusting shifters & derailleurs)
25. Extend Your Wireless Network - yep
I’m an IT guy who is also an Eagle Scout, just like I’m betting the article author was.
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Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized
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Back Up a Trailer
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Build a Campfire
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Navigate with a Map and Compass
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Use a Torque Wrench
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Sharpen a Knife
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Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
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Get a Car Unstuck
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Paint a Room
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Mix Concrete
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Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle
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Change Oil and Filter
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Paddle a Canoe
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Fix a Bike Flat
Well, fellas? And chicks? Let me know your gender and which you have mastered.
Yes
I’m looking forward to more of the alternate lists.
- Patch a Radiator Hose - duct tape, right? The important thing is getting the hose replaces adap. Do not rely on the patch.
- Protect Your Computer - produced offspring for that. I follow their advice. Beyond that I have a dog and door locks.
- Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized - if we’re talking canoes and row boats, probably. I’d want to review boat safety before going out.
- Frame a Wall - I’d want to hit the books first, but I have them.
- Retouch Digital Photos - can do little things. Digital cosmetic surgery? I’d call the offspring for that.
- Back Up a Trailer - it’s been awhile. But it would happen if it needed to.
- Build a Campfire - sure
- Fix a Dead Outlet - I think so.
- Navigate with a Map and Compass - yeah
- Use a Torque Wrench - yeah
- Sharpen a Knife - yeah
- Perform CPR - cert has lapsed, but yeah
- Fillet a Fish - yeah
- Maneuver a Car out of a Skid - it’s been years since I was in snow. So I’ve got the theory, but my reflexes are probably off. I’d go slowly or let someone else drive.
- Get a Car Unstuck - you mean having a tire stuck in the mud - got it.
- Back Up Data - yeah
- Paint a Room - oh, yeah
- Mix Concrete - yeah - would read up on it, cause it’s been awhile
- Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle - would need instructions
- Change Oil and Filter - year
- Hook Up an HDTV - never have - is it that complicated
- Bleed Brakes - probably could figure it out, but wouldn’t. I want to be able to blame the brake guy.
- Paddle a Canoe - yeah
- Fix a Bike Flat - yeah - I’ve never patch an inner tube, but I can replace them.
- Extend Your Wireless Network - see note on producing offspring - they’re the only reason I have a network
That looks like six noes or near noes. Not as bad as I expected.
Oh, and:
-tie a tie - yep; 4-in-hand or half-windsor
-change a baby’s diaper - yep
-mix a drink - yep
-talk an obnoxious drunk out of starting a bar fight - yep
-cunnilingus - yep; got some compliments even
-apologize - mostly, yes
-throw a spiral - yep; overhand and deep-snapping.
I’m female and can:
- Use a Torque Wrench
- Sharpen a Knife
- Perform CPR
- Fillet a Fish
- Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
- Paint a Room
- Change Oil and Filter
- Bleed Brakes
Missing from any gender list:
Sew on/replace a button
Hang a picture
Use a can opener (yes, I had a roommate who couldn’t)
Replace a washer in a leaky faucet
Turn off the gas to your house
Cook a dinner nice enough to serve to your grandmother
Pick out a good pineapple or watermelon
Clean out your computer’s temp files and cookies
Accept a compliment
Give a compliment
Operate a fire extinguisher
Who let you in here?
Go cook some dinner and get pregnant.
Jeez…can you believe these wimmin?
- Patch a Radiator Hose
- Protect Your Computer
- Retouch Digital Photos
- Build a Campfire
- Navigate with a Map and Compass
- Sharpen a Knife
- Fillet a Fish
- Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
- Get a Car Unstuck
- Back Up Data
- Paint a Room
- Hook Up an HDTV
- Fix a Bike Flat
I’m a woman. I can also assemble a computer from the various parts, throw a punch, fight dirty, give minor first aid, change diapers, cook a meal, be gracious to kids and old ladies, french braid my own hair, mend clothing, have good sex (the boys seem to be really proud of this one), make homemade biscuits without measuring, crochet, and remember to wash behind my own ears. Do I get a cookie?
- Patch a Radiator Hose-yes
- Protect Your Computer-yes, if you mean install an anti-virus program and firewall.
- Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized-yes, my dad is always capsizing my catamaran.
- Frame a Wall-yes, remodeled my house and added an extra room.
- Retouch Digital Photos-poorly
- Back Up a Trailer-yes
- Build a Campfire-yes, Eagle scout by the age of 16.
- Fix a Dead Outlet. Frequently.
- Navigate with a Map and Compass. Yes, was a scout in the 82nd Airborne Division of the US Army.
- Use a Torque Wrench. Yes.
- Sharpen a Knife. Yes, see #7 and #9
- Perform CPR. Yes, I worked as a night manager at Marriott in college and a patron drowned in the hot tub, I performed CPR until the ambulance got there but he later died.
- Fillet a Fish. Yes.
- Maneuver a Car out of a Skid. Yes.
- Get a Car Unstuck. Yes.
- Back Up Data. Sort of…
- Paint a Room. Yes
- Mix Concrete. Yes, see #4.
- Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle. Yes, see #9 I was on the sniper competition team.
- Change Oil and Filter. Yes but now I generally let jiffy lube do it.
- Hook Up an HDTV.Yes.
- Bleed Brakes. Yes
- Paddle a Canoe. Yes, I own a 16 footer and see #7.
- Fix a Bike Flat.Yes.
- Extend Your Wireless Network. I don’t know what you mean by extend but I installed the one I use at home.
With that list, you’ll probably get a marriage proposal or two.
The only thing on the original list I’ve never done is hook up an HDTV. I can’t imagine it’s very difficult, though.
Male, 42.
I have never…
19. Cleaned a Bolt-Action Rifle–I don’t hang around gun people much, but judging by a friend’s Mauser it doesn’t have to be that hard.
21. Hook Up an HDTV–I don’t have HDTV.
25. Extend Your Wireless Network–The router sits atop my one box.
And while I don’t mean to be a jerk, there are varying grades to a lot of the tasks. Does “mixing concrete” mean that the person knows the importance of slump, or does paddling a canoe include the ability to navigate Class IV rapids or track a straight line in flatwater?
If you can navigate class IV rapids in an open unmodified canoe, you are a river god.
Ah, but that’s never hard on the internet. I had most of them at “I’m a woman.” 
Already married, though.
That’s the main problem. There’s a wide gulf between “can do” and “good at.” Just because you’ve done it once doesn’t mean you’re good at it. I’m good at retouching digital photos. I’m no expert at starting a campfire, but I know the basics and I could do it eventually if stranded in the wilderness. I put “fillet a fish” on the list because my dad taught me how to dress small game and I’ve helped with butchering deer from hunting. Never done it with a fish, though. I’m sure if confronted with one, I could turn it from a dead animal into dinner, but it wouldn’t be pretty. If you restrict it to things you consider yourself good at, my list is much smaller.
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
– Attributed to Robert A. Heinlein
99% of the time, it’s plugging one end of an HDMI cable into the cable/satellite box, and the other end into the TV.
The ads for outfits like the Geek Squad try to make it sound really hard. You want hard? Try lashing together three cameras, two videotape decks, an external sync generator and a video switcher sometime and shade the cameras so it all looks good.
As for the rest of the list, I’m somewhere between “Done it kajillions of time” to “Can muddle through it if needed” on pretty much everything except cleaning a rifle. Like many here, I’ve yet to touch one, let alone use or clean one. But, give me the supplies and instructions, and I’ll give you a clean rifle.
Wow. This is like Vuja Dave, all over again.
Fortunately I can verify this statement is true. And will be repeated before the night is over 