I have accomplished the impossible and outdone myself, and I am quite confident that such a feat of stupidity is not likely to be repeated…ever.
Sometime in January I decided I needed to take some APs (English Language and Composition, Micro/Macro Economics) to show the colleges that although I was recently “asked to leave” one of the most respected high schools in the northeast and am now rotting my bum away in an all boys government endorsed hellhole in South Korea, I could still bump my two remaining brain cells together worth a damn. Well apparently, I can’t.
Because four months have passed, spring is here, I am in phase two of addiction to the SDMB (exhibiting signs of internet seeking behavior, worn out refresh button, demanding cites in daily conversation), I am exactly one, ONE bitchslap from a teacher away from a violent outburst, I’ve spent two weeks battling a strange infection on my right butt cheek that for a couple of days had me fearing for my life, and guess what else? That’s exactly right.
I’m not so sure how I got to be where I am now, without having read a single word on the subject of the three APs I will be taking in two days. I think the first few days it was just plain old procrastination, and then years of training kicked in and I did what I do best: forget really important stuff (I’m willing to admit the nitrous oxide binge might have had something to do with it too).
So to whom else can I possibly turn, but the infinitely wise and knowledgeable collective entity that is the SDMB (doctor assisted suicide isn’t an option until after plan b fails)? I can just as easily see this thread sinking immediately out of sight without a single reply, but one can hope. So step up to the plate, this is the ultimate test of not only the breadth and depth but also the timeliness of the SDMB’s knowledge. Please take a second and post any snippet of knowledge, important information, words of advice, or the answer key if you happen work for the College Board.
eta: you don’t have to assume the worst about my base knowledge, I have done well enough in standardized tests in the past without a moment of study, it’s just that the APs are a bit more daunting. So know that I am someone used to getting by with luck and magical powers of deduction, just that I need some more specific knowledge for these tests. And of course, I promise to follow up with the scores.
Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
Are you dead yet? No?
Then you’re stronger.
Congratulate yourself.
Other than that…eh, if you’re well and truly screwed, then I guess all you have left is to sit up and take your medicine like a man, then go and sin no more. Use this as a learning experience, and the next time, do it better.
Sorry, that’s truly all I got. If I were your mom, I’d add, “And we love you anyway, even when you massively screw yourself.”
So, (she asked idly), what happens if and when you flunk these tests? Does someone come over to your house and shoot your dog? Is it like in the UK and if you flunk your Owl Levels, any decent career you might have wanted is forever beyond your reach and you’re doomed to a life of servitude and squalor in a minimum-wage job? Do they offer re-takes? Excuses? “I’ve been undergoing extensive psychotherapy since February so I couldn’t study”? I’m sure you could get some quack to write you a note…
Seriously, what kind of consequences are we looking at here? “The rest of your life in abject misery and bitter regrets”, or just a “Geez, I’m such a dumbass” brief if painful wince and then you get on with your life?
Whew. I was wondering when anyone was going to get through the disproportionate number and length of run-ons and non sequiturs in that post. I’m frazzled and panicked and this is what I do, I get verbose and slightly ADD in my communication. In the meantime I’ve skimmed over the practice tests for all three subjects, and I’m slightly less screwed than I thought for the multiple choice. It’s just the free response or essay questions that actually require specific knowledge that I can’t tackle right now.
As for what happens when I flunk this test, nothing in the long run–in the long run we’re all dead. In the short run, I am faced with either crushing disappointment in my self and unendurable bad vibes around the house, or the elation of eustress and the love of my parents once again. No biggie in the big scheme of things .
The English Language/Composition test isn’t that hard. As long as you are capable of reading for comprehension and you ordinarily write better than you did in the OP, you ought to be fine.
hahaa here I was assuming everyone who spoke english was and amrican or close enough. Just like a ilttl frog in a well, me. Wasn’t always this thoughtless. I don’t think I ever really expected anything to come of it, more likejust venting. Mundane and Pointless and all that, and now that its been shared, carry on,
AP stands for Advanced Placement and it is a test which allows you to get college credit for high school classes. Assuming you score highly enough. (It’s out of 5, but if I recall correctly, they give you 2 for showing up and signing your name, practically, and you need a 4 or a 5 to get college credit, generally). So I took the AP calculus test, and skipped a semester of college level calculus.
I took the AP English test 14 years ago (egad!) I took a high school class to prepare me for it, but as long as you (in the hypothetical sense) are reasonably well-read and a good writer, you could do well without a special class. IIRC, you write essays on specific topics and use examples from books that you have read. It helps if those books are considered “literature”. If you have not read any “literature”, you may be screwed.
I have no idea about the Econ one. Considering that these tests are supposed to give you college credit, I would doubt that you’d be able to completely fake your way through it. Your situation is like that common bad dream where you signed up for a class and then forgot about it until the final exam.
These tests are not like the SAT’s. They test specific knowledge. You use them to get out of college classes, but you don’t need them to get into college. When I was in high school, it was rare to sign up for the test without signing up for the class to go with it. In fact, I don’t remember anyone who did so. I don’t think anything happens to you if you fail, though. Your college just refuses to give you credit, and you’ve wasted a bit of time and money. Well, in your case, you haven’t wasted much time…just the time it takes you to do the tests, I guess.
I took the AP English exams with no study/preparation beyond just doing my normal work for my English classes. Granted, I went to one of the top private schools in the northeast. YMMV. The real thing to remember about the APs is that, unlike the SATs, you can choose to report them or not. So really, you have nothing to lose. You do badly? No one has to know. You do well? Fantastic, send in the scores!
