I’ve become aware of several 30-ish people in our circle who have missed out on the economy (and other normal steps to adulthood). Through a series of poor decisions, petty crime and failed relationships they are essentially unemployable and entirely dependent on family for support. Most are parked in the homes of aging relatives, living off Granny’s retirement income and apparently content to continue for now. But what happens in the future?
When you read about old people whose skills are no longer needed, they usually have decades of work, with Social Security and at least some assets to fall back on. Most of these 30-somethings I’m watching* have little or nothing in Social Security assets, haven’t worked in many years, and unlikely to get hired after so long out of the workforce.
I’m curious if any of you have watched a similar scenario play out? What happens when “Granny” passes on or goes to the nursing home? Where do adults like this end up?
*Mainly distant relatives.
Well, in a couple of cases I’ve witnessed they snatch Gran’s assets and run. On the pretext that she won’t need them any more, the state will take on her nursing home expense, or, they are just without other choices.
When Mom/Gran keeps you afloat for decades, you kinda get entitled. When she goes into decline they get their hands on the assets. Even when they start with good intentions, they are ill prepared for being adults. They WILL crack under the pressure. Take the money and run or spend it all out from underneath her before anyone can even notice.
Thanks elbows. That is actually a concern involving one of the cases. The “family” is getting suspicious about what’s happening to Granny’s SS checks and where some repair money went. I don’t think it will end well.
I see I goofed on the thread title (should read “What” instead of “Where”). How do I contact a moderator to request an edit?
Even at their late age, they can still make themselves employable. But it’ll take even more work than it would have the first time around, when they weren’t willing to do it then.
I’m witnessing one of those cases right now. The woman in question is 29 with a college degree in biology. She has never held nor desired a career-oriented job. She does work, but the jobs are seasonal. She seems to enjoy the seasonal aspect of employment (which allows/requires travel around the country) and sees no reason to change it. I know from asking that she is debt free – a big plus in my book – but her savings is nearly zero.
I know her parents and they both get along with and love their daughter. But no trust fund or large inheritance is in her future.
Kudos in some respects for following your desires. But if she continues like this I often wonder what she will be saying to herself when she turns 35 and has missed a big percentage of her earnings life.
Okay, that hits slightly close to home ( not for me, but friends ) so I’ll just say that IMHO that isn’t one of those cases AT ALL :). This person you know has a degree and job skills, hardly like some unskilled layabout sponging off granny. It is in fact an obscure career track, if not a particularly profitable one. It can end after years of those seasonal government jobs with finally landing a permanent government job in a park somewhere - it’s one of the ways people looking for those sorts of jobs ( which are scarce and coveted, despite being usually poorly paid ) put in their dues and accumulate resume fodder and experience. It can also be a dead end of course, but needn’t be.
I can understand the concern, as I am very cognizant of my own retirement requirements. But someone getting by working seasonal wildland tech jobs and happy about it shouldn’t be derided for it in the same way as a deadbeat*. IMHO, anyway.
ETA: * Unless of course they are acting like a deadbeat the other 6-9 months out of the year .
Is it “unemployable” or “unemployable in any career path likely to support them in the fashion they were raised”?
Most people can get some sort of job if they have to, in retail or food service or something. It’s amazing how little you can live on, if you don’t have kids. It’s especially amazing how little you can live on if you have a place to live–if you inherit a little, crappy, unsellable and barely inhabitable house, that’s a huge thing. And there are still paths forward from menial jobs–you have a friend who does something that pays a little better, so you get the training you need to do what they do, or they get you a job where you get training. You have people end up in low-end commission sales, or become assistant managers. Or get good at bar-tending/waiting tables. Or they find a partner who makes more–maybe a little, maybe a lot.
I think the answer to your question is that they will almost certainly be poor. But they are unlikely to starve to death.
I didn’t really start saving money until I was 45. Now that I’m 55 I can clearly see that it’s all together likely I’ll never be able to fully retire. You’re a fool if you don’t start saving as soon as possible.
a related issue, maybe worth a new thread:
“Millions of Baby Boomers retiring with inadequate savings: what happens to them now?”
This thread started by asking about 30 year olds. But there millions of other,- older- people in the same position: no income and no savings. (well virtually none–theaverage retiring boomer will have to live for the next 2 decades on $136,200 savings.
That number is an average, so millions of people have much less than that.
What will happen to them?
In my peer group, it’s quite normal to get laid off every 2 to 5 years, and people then suck their savings dry to keep going until they get next the job. No one accumulates any wealth over time. Retirement? Ha. That’s something, like pensions and polio, that happened in the past.
Not sure… but I do have coworkers in their late 70’s/early 80’s. (The saddest thing? Some of the 20-somethings can’t keep up with the old farts, they’re that out of shape).
Between my likely life-expectancy given genes and current health I’m not planning to retire until 70 at the earliest. The only concession I’m making to advancing age is angling to get a less physical job in retail because I know in 20 years time my joints are going to be an issue. I guess I’m planning to keep working as long as I’m physically able. That might be well into my 80’s, again, based on relatives who, like me, did not have chronic health issues in their 50’s or 60’s.
That, and I do have an actual pension coming, assuming that former employer doesn’t find a way to dick me out of it. That will help. But I’m one of the lucky ones.
I saw a lot of this when I worked at a low-income health clinic some years ago. The people in this category were usually women in their 50s who hadn’t worked in decades, if ever, whose husbands had died. Any job training they may have had was long obsolete, they’d often cashed in or cancelled any life insurance policies (and that money, if they had it, went to the funeral and medical bills if he didn’t die quickly), and they were in the conundrum of being too old for Social Security (because their kids were grown) and too young for Social Security. Not a small number of them had had to sell their homes, if they owned one, and move in with an adult child or other similarly single adult, and it was challenging to find a job that paid more than minimum wage with any kind of benefits.
I saw that happen all the time with my mom’s friends; her cohort, the career path for women was to get married and then stop working. Many experienced the divorce or death of the husband around age 50, followed by a rapid descent into abject poverty. Which is why I think anyone who agrees to drop out of the workforce and stay home with the kids is an idiot.
Or well, anyone who drops out of the workforce for any non-health-related reason. Deliver pizza, dig holes, be a Walmart greeter, push Mary Kay on your friends, it’s better for you than just being a dependent.
Lots of scenario’s for people to end up in bad financial situations. Some people do it with a good job. But the one mentioned in OP, ‘young’ people reaching the point of not being so young, and have never found a place in the workforce, is somewhat separate from the others. There was a case in my extended family. What happened? He finally got in gear around age 30 and is doing OK.
I know a (sometimes sensitive) divide is between people who attribute this sort of situation to attitude and those who feel it’s all external forces and it’s dissing people to imply it’s their attitude. But IME for the particular category we’re talking about here, it’s very heavily on the attitude side. For people who run out of options later in life it’s more likely to be things further out of their control. Likewise ‘unemployable’ is a more plausible term later in life than at 30. At 30 it tends to be as another post said: somebody doesn’t want to do the work that’s available, make that little, have that little status, etc. With exceptions, as with any reasonable generalization about people.
this could have been/would have been me. I was a stay-at-home mom until my youngest was 13, then took minimally skilled ( and minimally paid) jobs for several years. At age 47, I decided to go to school for an RN degree. 2 years after graduating, I wind up divorced. Piss up a rope. BUT, FFS I can support myself now. I talk to younger women now and I always advise them to keep up their licenses/resumes/whatever because you never know what your future holds.
The divorce rate for people who go to nursing school, especially if they have kids, is essentially 100%, whether they are men or women. It’s high for other people with kids who go back to school, but for nursing, it is especially high, although in many cases the divorce was on the radar and that’s why (usually) she went back to school.
Although IANAN, I sometimes post on a nursing board, and a while back, someone started a thread stating that she was thinking about going to nursing school, and how should she prepare her husband and kids for the changes that were in the offing? I had my post deleted and was almost kicked off the board for saying, “File for divorce. Even if you think you are happily married now, you’re going to end up doing it anyway, so get it out of the way now because you don’t want to go through that while you’re in school.” :o
After graduate school and doing a post-doc, I didn’t have a regular job until I was nearly 40. (I still don’t have a “regular” job, being essentially self-employed.) Yet I’ve been able to save enough that with Social Security I’ll be able to retire at a reasonable level.
For those who are ‘seeing a case like this now’ regarding a young person stealing Granny’s money, you don’t have to wait for ‘the family’ to step in. You can google your state and ‘elder abuse laws’ or even your zip code and ‘elder abuse’. You can also see if your city has a Area Agency on Agency and call them for advice. You as a neighbor/acquaintance whatever can report your suspicisions and the proper agency may be able to help
When I took over my mother’s care because of her dementia/Alzheimer’s/psychosis I had to sign a lot of papers notifying me of my guardianship responsibilities and the penalties if I took her money and ran (Texas has very strict laws and enforces them).
The reason many states have such strict e;der abuse laws is because the state doesn’t want to end up supporting the elder because some relative stole their money.
Also, I believe stealing or misusing a SS check is a federal crime, so you can also report that.