I’m shooting for blackout drunk. I have a high tolerance, but I’m going to down an entire fifth of hard alcohol today.
I liked my job, and I saved money when I worked there. In between unemployment and subsidies on the ACA (maybe even medicaid) I will be fine financially. That isn’t even including savings. I always save money no matter where I work or no matter how much I earn, I adjust my lifestyle to match my wages so I can save money.
I just don’t get why does it have to be hard. I know people who graduated at the same time I did. They are far less productive and competent than I am, but they’ve been gainfully employed from graduation until now, probably until retirement. I don’t get why is my life a life of having to save tons of money because I know whatever good times I have will be temporary.
I don’t think I want kids or a wife, but it hurts to know that I probably couldn’t get them anyway. I don’t think I will ever have the kind of financial or health security that (I feel) is mandatory to be a good parent.
I love my nieces and nephews. I just wish I had the financial security and faith in my health so that I could have kids of my own. I wish I was healthy and financially secure so I could have kids of my own. But I don’t see that happening.
Getting laid off is no big deal. To me, six years at one job sounds really stable.
And if you’re financially savvy enough to save tons of money when times are good, guess what, you are financially stable. You don’t have to sell a kidney when unforeseen shit happens, because you foresee that unforeseen shit is going to happen.
Thats true. I think I just feel some regret because I can never be a family man. I can’t have a wife and kids because I don’t trust my health or finances to be stable enough to support them.
I do love my nieces and nephews. They are the closest things to kids I will ever have. I’m just sad that I could never have kids of my own due to health worries and financial insecurity.
I look at how I treat my nieces and nephews. I change their diapers, I feed them, I play with them, I talk to them, I read books to them. I guess I’d love to do that to kids of my own but I know I don’t have the stability to do that.
Thank you. However part of me assumes Jesus is just an extension of tthe myth of horus, and is not real.
Either way, ‘happy holiday to worship whatever false diety your culture invented to deal with the seasonal affective disorder that the windero period causes for your culture.’
Sorry you’re hitting a rough spot. Just want to point out that not every wife needs to be “supported” in any one particular way. You could always find a little lady to support YOU! (Or, complement you…)
So whatcha drinking? And why?
I’m no stranger to the self-imposed pity party, but it’s been a while. Just my opinion, but an intention to get blackout drunk due to being laid off, does not seem like the healthiest possible decision. And if you are making choices like that, that might suggest something else is going on contributing to your perception of your situation.
Yeah, this isn’t the layoff, this is worse than that. A layoff you resolve to get drunk tonight and then Monday resolve to start looking for work. Except not this Monday, because that’s Christmas. So Merry Christmas, you’re lucky because you get to spend more time with your family. Sweet.
If you have chronic health problems that interfere with stable employment that’s a whole different thing.
In any case, health issues and intermittent employment don’t make marriage and family impossible. Seriously dude. Intermittent employment is only a problem if you’re unable to save money for when you’re between gigs. People survive from short term job to short term job all the time, and it’s only a problem if it becomes a problem.
Don’t forget you can collect a small amount of unemployment while you’re getting your next job, that won’t replace your paycheck but it will lower the burn rate on your savings.
If you really need 20 years at the same job to really feel stable, you’re going to have to look into a government job maybe, because that sort of thing in the private sector only exists very rarely in 2017.
I know, people often think that you are a failure of some sort when laid off. This used to be often the case, but no longer, they lay people off to increase the bottom line, and boost their stock options more often.
The unemployment rate is about as low as it can realistically go, that should help. A lower overall number should mean that employers will not play as many games when hiring people. The days of requiring cashiers to be fluent in Attic Greek and have won a nobel peace prize are long gone.
Repeat after me: shit happens. Ready: Shit. Happens. Sometimes it’s good shit. Sometimes it’s bad shit. You will never be in control of the shit. You will never be perfect. This is normal and it’s ok.
You have, right now, everything you need to be a good parent. Stop focusing on being perfect. No one is perfect. Focus on what you are doing right, improve what you can improve, but do not obsess. Leave yourself open to the possibility of meeting someone. You can’t meet someone if the answer is already no. Leave room for yes.
Health issues suck. I am permanently disabled. So are a lot of people on the Board. I am married 25 years. Sometimes I carry him, sometimes he carries me. Sometimes the kids carry us both.
There is no such think any more as a job that lasts. If you really want that stability, then, yes, look into government at local, state or federal. You’ll get a pension too.
What she just said. You aren’t perfect, but what you are isn’t bad at all. You are worthy of love. Allow yourself to be open to that possibility.
If you need help navigating these new waters, please consider a counselor. You’re very hard on yourself. Sometimes learning new thinking patterns requires a helping hand.
This assessment is not based on lack of income or vague health issues, yet on perceived lack of maturity.
If others around you graduated with similar degrees, now perform substanderly, yet remain employed - they must have something you lack. Open your eyes.
Methinks you need to mature before you attempt to raise a child (and maintain a sustainable relationship with it’s mother, and reasonably maintain adequate shelter, and supply food, and any of the billion other things you’ll need).
Getting shitfaced in response to losing job, or querying about chances of getting caught drunk driving are not lessons you’ll wish to impart on a child.
TL;DR: Scammer jackass in a restaurant tries to score free extra meals by complaining repeatedly that his meal has been prepared wrong, hoping to get a replacement meal while still getting to keep the “wrong” meal he complained about. He does this regularly. Server, who claims to also be the manager, and who also claims it is his last day on the job, advises customer in language that can only be used on one’s last day on the job, if you know what I mean.
FWIW, there are a lot worse things than getting hammered the day you’re laid off.
I would not like for you to drive drunk, that is dangerous to yourself and others, but drinking it and of itself, as long as it isn’t a habitual response to unhappiness, is fine.
You aren’t immature and you aren’t unworthy of being a partner or parent. I’m guessing it’s depression feeding you that pack of lies.
Being married to me comes with a host of unhappy features because I am chronically ill, both mentally and physically. Yet someone decided to do it anyway and he really adamantly thinks I’m worth it. And I know a ton of people with chronic health conditions who make excellent parents. If you had a habit of treating people like shit, then we’d have a problem, but you don’t, and there is nothing about illness or being laid off that makes you unworthy of a family of your own.
I actually like my coworkers quite a bit. It is just that a new CEO came into the company and set a goal of eliminating at least 10% of the workforce. A lot of the old timers think this plan is going to blow up in the face of the executives, because a lot of people being pushed out (not just me) had developed pretty advanced skills at what they did. A lot of human capital was pushed out with early retirement options.
In my department there used to be 5 of us starting in January of 2017. Come January 2018, there is only 1. Three of us were laid off, one was pushed into early retirement.
In a way I feel bad for the 1 guy left behind who has to do 5 people’s jobs.