I am in my mid 30’s and this is what I see from women around my age.
Half dont work!! HALF!!!
-3 are on disability or welfare and 2 of them are clearly faking it or embellishing it as they seem to have no problems or show signs of problems from the ailments they supposedly have. 1 likes to sit around doing painkillers all day and never seeks any actual treatment for her ailment even when her dad offered to pay for it. 1 ‘cant feel my fingertips’. Really!!! ??? So no work for you then for the rest of your life?!? And she is planning on having 3 kids soon!!! She lives and rents in one of the most expensive cities in the country and we are paying for it! She is ultra super feminist too. Its just embarrassing for feminism. No money, no car, just a government check. I used to be so liberal too. 1 was fired and is milking unemployment for the foreseeable future.
-2 are still living off of daddies money. Free car, free rent, bad decisions, so daddy pulled back the handout but still gives them plenty to get by.
-2 are stay at home moms but their whopping $15 or less per hour job wasnt really going to keep the family afloat anyway. In their defense their kids are fun, polite, and hilarious but the moms spend a lot of time reading cheesy romance books and watching tv.
-5 have college degrees and 2 of them are the bread winners.
So I ask you what is wrong with these women around me? Did half these women already give up? Like life is too hard? Will they eventually get jobs or try harder? Is this a pattern that some women start falling apart by their mid 30’s and thats that?
I never thought while dating my pickup line would be ‘do you have at least a part time job?’
I can maybe name 1 guy without a job and he is temporarily a stay at home dad raising 5 kids.
This sounds like a fluke to me. Offhand, I can’t think of any women who don’t work at least part time professional jobs, and even those part time working women have young children at home.
I’ve know a couple of people on disability and they’ve all been men. I’ve know a couple of stay at home moms, but not on welfare. I’ve known a stay at home husband. Also not on welfare.
Where did you meet these women? Am I right that they’re potential dates? Perhaps try a better local. Are you attracted to a particular type of woman? What are the men like in your social circle? What kind of jobs do they have?
I think most of what you’re seeing is a combination of recession and its aftermath producing more disability seekers and adult children who stay financially dependent longer—which is not a gender-specific phenomenon—with traditional gender expectations about homemaker/breadwinner roles (although as your own experience indicates, that’s becoming less gendered too).
IANAD and even if I were I couldn’t diagnose your acquaintances over the internet, but there are indeed growing numbers of disability claims these days, which translates to more people on disability. AFAICT, however, that’s not a “women thing”, it’s a “worker thing”:
I know several 20-something and 30-something guys in that situation too. As others have noted, the pattern seems to be that young women are more likely to be fully employed/living independently than their male peers.
If I’m understanding your correctly, this means that in your own circle of acquaintances you’ve got two stay-at-home wives and two stay-at-home husbands.
Are the stay-at-home husbands working super hard all day at stuff that’s more worthwhile than “cheesy romance books” and TV? Or do unemployed homemakers deserve to be chastised for having easy duties and a fair amount of leisure only when they happen to be female? :dubious:
Well, even though this may not be in L’esprit De La Pitte, I’ll interject a serious reply and say that you are hanging out with an unfortunate choice of women.
Of the first 10 women I thought of, 10 are employed (and probably making more than I do, dammit!), though one is half-time because she’s going back to school.
The married ones are all in two-income families.
None are on painkillers, though Kate and Jamie have been known to hit the prescription margaritas pretty hard.
Most of the women I know are employed. The company you keep should be re-evaluated if you are running into this. People tend to become friends with people of similar socioeconomic status and personality.
I don’t know who these people are that manage to get on disability who don’t really need it because I had a “four tier diagnosis” which my caseworker said virtually assured I’d get it but I lost and lost my appeal as well. Three years I was assured I’d get it if I was patient and went through their hoops and got my paperwork turned in with all the Ts crossed. Yet everyone seems to know not one but several people on disability that don’t deserve it. You can’t “fake” the need for TANF but if they’re outright lying about their assets they should be reported. I was on it briefly but I got kicked off because I couldn’t work and hadn’t been approved for disability. They require you to work at least 30 hours unless you’re disabled or pregnant/have a baby under age one or a dependent with a severe disability. It was only 142 dollars a month anyway, hardly enough to live on.
Maybe your friends are sicker than you realize? Maybe you just hang around some messed up people.
Bonbon. (at least what I picture when i hear the word).
I have to agree with this. As a woman who works 40+ a week, I cast my mind to other women- and ALL of the women who came to mind are gainfully employed. My sister used to be a SAHM, but worked her ass off going to school in addition to taking care of three kids, and is now a special education teacher. SAHMs work hard even if they aren’t also going to school, but honestly, I have to stretch to come up with even acquaintances who are completely unemployed (retired doesn’t count). I know I know *some *, but most people I see regularly are employed. And, per the earlier post the OP made, only 2 people I know have genital herpes - one man, one woman.