yep, thus why someone came up with the word “eargasm.” 
It’s just aural sex…
Quenching a thirst. A tall cool drink on a hot day, now that’s satisfying.
Or just smirking, in such a fashion that your target KNOWS that you told him so, but did he listen? No indeedy, he did NOT. HE knew better, and he was damned if he was gonna take your advice. One good solid smirk will let your target know that you could have said something, but because you’re so saintly, you’re not going to say anything. But you can’t help your facial expression.
I TOLD my husband that he shouldn’t lend any more money to his brother, especially not if the brother had big plans of starting his own business. Today, the brother has announced that the business is a failure, and he’s gonna quit it. I gotta take my satisfaction where I can, because that money is GONE.
At the end of a haircut, getting the neck hairs trimmed and cleaned up with an electric shaver.
Scratching an itch, sneezing, and putting my hands into a sink full of really hot water. Mmm.
(Not all at the same time, though.)
Scalp massaged, or hair brushed by someone else = #2 for me.
Waking up from a nightmare and the realisation that none of it really happened
My one and two are not your one and two.
- back massage
- that mind-floaty sensation brought on by marijuana or vicodin
- full body relaxation achieved through guided meditation and/or muscle relaxers
- penetrative vaginal intercourse
- orgasm
Or having a lovely lass’ hands spread warm shaving cream across and slowly scrape it off with a straight razor.
Popping a big gooey pimple. Yes, I’m a popper. My son will grow up to hate me :p.
Revenge and its corollary, vindication.
A really satisfying shit can make my day more than a really good orgasm can, although a great orgasm is pretty fantastic too. A huge sneeze, or better yet, a series of five or six of them. A deep tissue massage. A great meal in a nice restaurant. Here’s a weird one- I love the feeling of having just cut my toenails.
Cold water (or coke) when you’re really thirsty.
I remember hiking down into the Grand Canyon and our water supply was running low as we were getting to the bottom. I will never forget the first sip of water from the fountain down there - we must have spent about 30 minutes just drinking and pouring water on ourselves.
Tactile:To crush your enemies,
Visual:see them driven before you,
Auditory:and to hear the lamentation of their women.
- That feeling of deep relief when you’ve successfully avoided a car accident.
- The humongous sneeze.
- A foot massage.
Getting into a cold pool when it is hot out.
Getting into a hot bath when it is cold out.
Sitting down after being on your feet all day.
orgasm
snuggling
getting my hair washed
lower backrub
soaking in a hot tub of water until i prune
listening to one of the superkitties purring
scratching an itch
sneezing
I think number one should rather be making love rather than orgasm. But my real argument is with number two. I think number two should be observing a thing of beauty. In my case the primary thing of beauty would be a woman but art or natural vistas also qualify.
I will get to work on #'s 3,4 and 5 shortly.
Thanks for the rare opportunity to pull this out of my “Pilot Humor” file. Don’t know where it originated.