I must be missing something here. Has the OP answered the question as to what, exactly, is being done in the pants? I’ve seen responses from “adjusting himself” to “urinary tract problem” to “masturbation” to “concern over missing parts” … could you please clarify?
I must be missing something here. Has the OP answered the question as to what, exactly, is being done in the pants? I’ve seen responses giving advice relating to “adjusting himself” to “urinary tract problem” to “masturbation” to “concern over missing parts”, and one dismissive post from the OP saying only it’s “more than just hand placement”. I am ASSUMING this means masturbation, however, I think it’s pretty clear here that the solution is going to depend in large part on what’s actually going on. … could you please clarify?
I’m not sure, but his penis was… more developed than the rest of his body at the time.
My son went through this and my nephew went through it. The questions I have would be:
How long has it been going on?
Does he show any signs of pain?
The two pediatricians in the cases in our family each said to basically ignore it unless the kid was keeping his hands in his pants for long periods of time, in which case he should be told “Please do not do that in public”–and then ignored, again.
If it has been going on for a year or more, there may be something more serious than a phase.
If he shows signs of pain, he may need to see a doctor.
Otherwise, he’ll probably outgrow it.
I did this as a kid for a very long time. Why? Very simple: because it’s warm there. I liked my hands to be somewhere warm.
if that’s the case, a pair of pants with deep pockets might help. It is socially acceptable to have your hands deep in your pockets, even for a small boy.
(1) obviously ask him about pain - is he doing it because something hurts and make sure it’s not some sort of UTI/hernia/psychological oh crap my dick is going to disappear trauma
(2) if (1) is no, consider that he keeps doing it because if you guys are telling him know and going on about it everytime you see it that he is getting attention for it, probably likes attention (because what kid doesn’t) and maybe you should leave it at “son, do that in your room/bathroom/whatever but not in front of us” and then ignore it.
You’ve already gotten a lot of great responses, but just to chip in here – first concern is to be sure he doesn’t have a rash/infection/medical problem. Once those are ruled out, then just a simple reminder “hey, we don’t do that in public. Do you need to go to the bathroom for some alone time?”
Neither of my kids ever had a problem with touching themselves in public because we told them from the beginning (when we would change diapers) that “it’s ok to do that when no one’s looking.”
Also, a belt will help. No joke, even if he is actually masturbating, it might just be a comfort issue. Not to be too graphic, but that’s one of my best stress relief things. For this kid, it might just be the same as thumb-sucking or hair-pulling. Don’t make a big deal out of it, but also just make sure he knows that there are some things that are ok to do in private, but not public.
naiive question: is he dry-skinned? would hand creme (stop it) or changing soap clothes detergent help in that case?
I’d be afraid hand creme would dramatically increase the hand in the pants problem. I am not speaking from personal experience here.