600 Commandments

Great Debates
1

In a recent pit thread, pldennison made the following statement:

What are some of them? Are any of them open to interpretation?

2

I’m assuming he’s referring to all of the various little tidbits in places like Deuteronomy, such as:

  1. Thou shalt not eat any abominable thing

  2. Ye shall utterly destroy all the places, wherein the nations which ye shall possess served their gods, upon the high mountains, and upon the hills, and under every green tree

  3. Thou shalt sing the praises of greetings to feline idol, Opal.

  4. Thou shalt not plant thee a grove of any trees near unto the altar of the LORD thy God, which thou shalt make thee.

  5. Thou shalt not covet thy brother’s wife.

  6. If thine name is Onan, thou shalt ignore rule 5. If not, I shall smite thee.

  7. Thou shalt not see thy brother’s ass or his ox fall down by the way, and hide thyself from them: thou shalt surely help him to lift them up again.

  8. A man shall not take his father’s wife, nor discover his father’s skirt. Hmm, oooooo-kay.

  9. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Umm, literally or metaphorically?

  10. When thou comest into the standing corn of thy neighbour, then thou mayest pluck the ears with thine hand; but thou shalt not move a sickle unto thy neighbour’s standing corn. So, can I steal a few pieces of candy, as long as I don’t fill up the basket?

And on and on and on…

They have all kinds of other goodies, such as sleeping with women while menstruating, etc.

3

And let’s not forget the ever-necessary commandment, found in the Book of Dinglepuss: “Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, but when he’s busy with something else, thou shalt worship the Great and Malignant SPOOFE instead.”

Anyway…

It’s my understanding that some of the 600 commandments are not immediately recognizable as “commandments”, and sometimes they overlap each other. Having not read them (this is info garnered from a High School religion teacher, and he was a tad loopy), I can’t confirm this (I have no doubt someone else will come along to do so), so take it with a grain of salt.

4

Orthodox Jews recognize 613 commandments in the Torah. The details of proper observation are codified in the Talmud.

Here is a list of the 613 mitzvos, as compiled by Maimonides, grouped by category.

Of course, please keep in mind that with the destruction of the Temple, many of these laws are not in operation today.

Zev Steinhardt

5

600 Commandments? Sounds like what heppens when you let lawyers get hold of the Decalogue.
(Please bear in mind that I have a lot of relatives and friends who are lawyers. And, yes, they hear all the jokes.)

6

Quick question; is this considered one of those 613?

Thou shalt not eat of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

I ask 'cause one Jewish friend told me it is, while others have told me it’s not.

7

Two of my favorite Commandments:

“Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.”
– Exodus 23:19, Exodus 34:26, and Deuteronomy 14:21

(Remember this the next time you want to make Cream of Goat Soup.)

“When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.”
– Leviticus 15:19

(What, no Red Wings?!)

8

No, it’s not.

That was a one-time commandment given to Adam.

Zev Steinhardt

9

Baby, if you come out the bedroom clean after doing that, you’ve got more talent that I suspected :wink:

jarbaby

10

One of my favorites, I call this the Talking Heads “Once in a Lifetime” commandment:

10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,

11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;

12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;

13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.

14 And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.

And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife…

11

Burn the sorceress…