99 least-sexy words to use while making love to your lady

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Fellas, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I figure it’s time to unleash the list of 99 Least-Sexy Words to Use While Making Love to Your Lady[sup]TM[/sup].

Ladies, feel free to contribute. Fellas, feel free to take notes, or to add words that you’ve said in the past that have contributed to an angry twisting of your testicles by your lady during sweet coitus.

Gay men, I would love to see a list of 99 Least-Sexy Words to Use While Making Gay Love to a Man.
-Trough
-Dump
-Cottage cheese
-Sandpaper
-Sewage
-Mommy
-Igloo
-Macintosh
-Poland
-Grapes
-Turnstile
-Grover
-Ant (not to be confused with “aunt,” which is a-ok.)
-Turtleneck
-Moist
-Vulgar
-Spelunking
-Dictator
-Francis

2

‘Sally’ (when your SO’s name is “Linda”)

3

“Horsebutt”

“giddyap” is ok tho for some.

4

What’s wrong with “moist?”

5

Diarrhea

6

receipt

7

Transaction.

Infested.

Incest.

Disection.

8

Landlord

9

From personal experience: don’t say rolls. Don’t say anything that might sound like rolls.

10

Yeast.

11

“Uh-oh”.

12

Fatso.
Shrinkage.
Holocaust. (Eva Braun excepted.)
Barf.
Schmuck.
Infection.
Gottfried.

13

-Husky
-Flap
-Grain
-Critter
-Flipper

14

The name of your SOs sibling (if sibling is same sex as SO)

15

Hey! That’s my name! :frowning:

16

Semprini.

17

Avoid calling out your own name, and you should be fine.

18

-Crematorium
-Smegma
-Trapezoid
-Menopause

19

So much for my habit of augmenting sexiness by referring to myself in the third person throughout!

20

Ouch!

There was a time, early on, when my wife was inspired to talk about bank accounts and car payments in the bedroom. It pissed me off, and finally, the next time she did it I got out of bed and got dressed. It never happened again.