All I’m gonna say is…
…Cleveland Steamer™
Demonstrate talent in some form
Perform “Live” on stage the Aristocrat routine with help from the cast of Deliverance.
Even more shocking would be for her to publicly apologise for being such a clueless wad of whale snot and declare her intentions to take Sally Struther’s place as a fundraiser/spokeswoman for impoverished children.
Any of these would be extremely shocking for her to do:
Enlist in the military. Anybody’s military. Even Switzerland’s.
Take a vow of poverty, donate all her money, royalties, and residuals to an orphanage, and enter St Catharine’s Monastary in the Sinai Peninsula.
Perform a dramatic reading of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.
Subscribe to the Dope.
What about if Britney declared that all of her problems were a result of growing older and that she has undergone the first few treatments of a revolutionary new anti-aging process that she intends to use her millions to provide said service free of charge teenyboppers throughout the years so that they can all perform forever together at a constant 15 year old body/brain age and therefore completely bring civilization to final screaming and agonizing halt?
Or maybe she just plans to play the banjo.
Oh, you are so jaded.
I think Britney will sing with Celine Dion and the time-space continuum will tear and life as we know it will cease.
I think Britney will sing with Celine Dion and the time-space continuum will tear and life as we know it will cease.
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HA! That will never happen! Neither of them sings, there are just strange audible emanations coming from the pieholes.
-Have Jerry Stackhouse give her a tattoo of a butt on a butt on her butt.
-Arrive on stage from high above via a wire and pulley system, wearing a yellow costume with her ass cheeks exposed, loudly passing gas, and declare herself Fartgirl. Luke Perry will be waiting for her on stage and will grab her flabby white butt and provide some witty banter.
-Deficate on the severed head of Jeff Goldblum.
Announce that having an elective caesarean “to avoid pain” was really dumb.
I think telling an Aristocrats joke like this one but based on her own life would be an incredible way to extend her trend to a new level.
(Warning: YouTube. No pornographic images but dialogue not suitable for most circumstances)
I could see Britney being great at it.
As she approaches the podium, her head will come off, fall on the floor, sprout spider/crab legs, and scuttle into the audience.
Another duet with Madonna and Christina Aguilera. But this time they don’t stop at a kiss.
If they don’t stop for a week, your idea has my solid support.