This article says that Britney Spears is planning a “big comeback performance” at the upcoming MTV Video Music Awards which will be “shocking.”
Frankly, I’m all a-twitter just thinking about it. Especially when you consider she’s working from an extensive list of ridiculous possibilities that she and her handlers have come up with… that we just happen to have right here on the Straight Dope:
-Saw off and devour her left arm.
-Be anally penetrated by Nick Carter while atop an ice sculpture of Fonzie.
-Complete Bocce match with a reunited Spice Girls while all wearing Burqas.
-Take two dozen cannon balls to the stomach.
-Make love to her own clone.
-Drink gasoline and swallow a match. Also known as the Daffy-Duck-You-Can-Only-Do-This-Trick-Once Trick.
-Re-enact Princess Diana’s final moments, playing the part of…Prince Harry.