I’ll start by saying this is completely pointless. I was bored and figured I’d write something to pass the time.
It came disguised as sadness. It had a reason for that choice, I’m sure. Sadness was one of the first to fall, so I let my guard down, I played with it a bit, like a cat plays with a mouse. Then, like the cat, I got distracted and forgot about it. It, however, did not act like a mouse that was just freed from the jaws of a cat. No, it was a vengeful mouse. As soon as I forgot about it, it started sinking its claws in, hiding in places I wasn’t aware of, waiting until it could strike a blow against its tormentor.
I didn’t realize what was happening. It was smart; it knew that any head-on attempt to break down my walls from outside would be futile. So it setup its base of power in my heart, crumbling my walls from within. It waged a multi-week campaign, starting slowly. It planted thoughts at first, “why not do this…nothing to lose”, but I did have something to lose. I didn’t realize it, but each time those thoughts were heeded, an almost imperceptible crack got bigger.
The final blow, it’s best effort, was staggering. I had no idea what happened. I couldn’t concentrate. Excitement? Distraction? These are things that do not exist. And yet…I couldn’t block them out. I couldn’t crush them. I had to figure out what caused this failure. How could I fail? Then it hit me, the same sadness as before, and I realized what my mistake was. Instead of acting like a mouse, it setup a power base in my heart. It caused the failure of my defenses by subverting my desires. I no longer wanted my defenses to succeed.
I was lucky that it gave itself away before it had a chance to thoroughly subvert my desires. Perhaps it underestimated its opponent, perhaps I underestimated it. All I knew is that my course of action is clear. I must move my base to an untainted location, and begin the war anew.
