So I’ve been increasingly strapped for cash these days and I say ‘Oh Lord!! where DOES all my money go! The Effort I put into frugality is inversly perportional to the success of my endeavor! Oh Lordy can you puleeze help me??’
'You won't have any money because you are being greedy you silly goose! Maybe if you started tithing I'll throw a little 'sumthin sumthin' your way, bro!'.....thus saith the lord.
I was taken a back! 'Wow! you really do exist lord!'
'And why are you so shocked! I was telling you just last week to not buy that bottle of 120 proof rum and to stick with PBR, REMEMBER!!?'
'Oh you know how i feel about giving money to a church! I don't believe in paying for 'overhead.' I'd much rather apply my finances to your work in a more direct fashion.'
‘Good Idea! knock yourself out kiddo!’-- thus saith the Lord.
So the only Idea I could come up with so far is taking ten percent of my next paycheck, buying a carton of marlboro reds and the remainder on loaves of bread from the artisan bakery. I’ll distribute the bounty among the street urchins and sparechangers.
I might need some other creative ways of tithing though, any ideas?