Me and my ex partner bought a house together a few years ago and since broke up we are 50/50 owners. He has been dating the same guy for the past 6 months or so. In the last couple month this bf has been living in our house probably 6 out of seven days. The other day he stays at his parent house which is a 1.5 hour drive. The way i see it is he is living here and I have every right to ask for a rent check to even out expenses. I have not brought this up with my ex as of yet and am wondering what other peoples opinions might be.
Seems like a perfectly reasonable request to me. If your roommate has a problem with it, I would suggest that they have their guest over less than half of the nights then.
Seems perfectly reasonable to me as he’s using your resources on a near constant basis.
I know that this isn’t the question asked…but the best solution would be to have either you or your ex buy the other person out of their share of the house and go your seperate ways. The above just seems like a recipe for failure.
Sure you have a right to ask for rent, if he’s using your house as his base of operations. Just because he has a backup place (his parent’s) doesn’t mean he’s not effectively living with you.
I’ve been in a similar situation before, though, and I caution you against talking directly to the boyfriend-- that will create a lot of tension. Talk to your ex, but don’t be confrontational about it; bring it up as casually as if you were asking if he feels like throwing in on pizza tonight. Otherwise you may be looking at a very uncomfortable living situation.
Yeah, I think it’s reasonable to ask him to pony up, since he’s using electricity and water and everything else.
I think it’s unreasonable not to ask for rent. He’s living with you. If he’s not contributing to the household in any way other than tickling your ex’s prostate, then he’s freeloading.
Not just rent, but utilities, too.
Be sure to point out that an additional person living on the property adds to the wear and tear on everything from carpeting to fixtures, and should therefore share the burden of paying towards the cost of living in the home.
I think it’s reasonable, but just take a moment and consider what will happen when you get a SO. Turnabout is fair play, and your co-owner will be well within his rights to expect rent.
Tread lightly on the topic.
I’m going to go against the tide here and suggest that no, he doesn’t owe rent. He’s effectively there as a guest of the roommate and, therefore, not required to pay rent.
Asking him to chip toward utilities or additional food might be appropriate but I’d actually suggest you ask your roomie for this. If the two of them are using an assumed 2/3rds of the utilities, then I think your rommie should pony up 2/3rds of the energy bill. He can back-bill his new BF if he wishes.
I’d agree with Belrix, this new fellow is here as a guest of someone who owns half the house. Have him pay for consumables by all means, but it might get a bit terse in the house if you ask for money for what someone effectively does to someone else’s half of the building.
Guests are temporary. This guy has been living in the house 6 out of 7 days for (I’m assuming) months. That’s a roommate, not a guest.
I think you are definitely entitled to ask for compensation for utilities, cleaning supplies, etc. But if this is all you’re after, I wouldn’t even call it rent, just extra $$ for the bills.
If you are asking for rent just for the extra inconvenience of having a third person around, I dunno, I could see that going either way. As a part-owner, you would effectively be making his boyfriend into your boarder/tenant, I could see why that would be uncomfortable to your housemate. Realize that if you receive rent money for the boyfriend, then he will have full tenant privileges, and can invite his own friends over, etc. It might be worth it instead having a friendly conversation with your housemate about ways they could be less intrusive on your enjoyment of your home.
I used guest in the sense that he’s there at the invite of someone who owns half the house (if I’ve read the OP correctly)
Unless there was some specific agreement when the house was split up, I’m not sure how you could justify asking someone to pay rent for, as I said, effectively living in someone else’s half of the house.
Usually when I’ve been in similar situations, I wouldn’t make the roommates SO pay rent, simply because they were sleeping in the roommates room and not taking up any of “my space”. I would usually ask that they kick in some extra $$ for utilities though.
This is exactly what I was going to say.
Unless they’ve got some sort of sit-com arrangement with a strip of tape dividing the house exactly in two, the guy’s not just living in the ex’s side of the house. I assume that there are “common areas” in the house, such as the living room, kitchen, guest bathroom, etc. that both paying roommates use equally, and that the new boyfriend also uses.
If you had a roommate who invited his (platonic) friend to crash at your guy’s house for two or three months, wouldn’t you feel justified in asking for a reduced share of the rent? I sure as hell would. I don’t see how the guy being a non-platonic friend changes things. The guy’s living there. He’s taking up space, he should take up some responsibility, too. Since he doesn’t have his own bedroom, maybe not a full third, but he definitly owes something.
What Miller said. If you wanted to be anal about it I guess you could divide up the square footage of the house, subtract the bedrooms (he doesn’t use the OP’s room and the ex is happy for him to stay in his room rent-free), and calculate the rent based on that.
If I were sharing a house with someone I wouldn’t invite a couple of my best buddies to hang out for months on end. Not only would there be extra wear and tear on the house and extra utility bills, but my roommate should be allowed the quiet enjoyment of his own place, and shouldn’t be expected to subsidise my choices.
The ex’s boyfriend needs to stop being a mooch (living 6 out of 7 days for free at his boyfriend’s house and the rest with his mummy and daddy? That’s a goddamn parasite).
That’s a tough one - owners of a house are different than renters; as an owner, if he wants to cut his boyfriend a deal on paying no rent, that’s really his business. If you were renting, I would say hell yes he should start paying a third. He is definitely increasing your utilities, though, and that as well as any other way he affects you should be addressed.
I agree that this is a recipe for disaster; you and your ex need to establish extremely clear rules about overnight guests, from one night to permanent residents.
I would agree with those asking for a utility share. If 6/7 days is accurate, as in, wakes, operates (minus time spent at work and whatever, like the two actual renters), and falls asleep without resorting to other domiciles for showering/cooking/etc. then he’s certainly using as much of the utilities as the two of you.
If possible, and the arrangement has been going on a sufficient time, you may want to look at the differences in utility bills from before/after and work something out based on that.