A Brief Journey Through Hell...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Or “Why I Hate Shopping”

Ok, so I’m getting ready to have company over for dinner and a bit of entertainment when I suddenly realize that I need a small handful of items. The hour is drawing near for the arrival of said company so I decide to make a quick run to the nearest department mart.

Parking lot is rather full, but I expected this due to the time of day (5pmish). Go in, grab a cart, get the 4 items I need. As I’m walking around the store, I hear music playing louder than the normal muzak stuff. Not thinking much about it, I head to the front to pay and leave. I come around the corner to enter checkstand purgatory and if it had been a cartoon, I would have made screeching brakes and tire sounds with how sudden I had to stop. Peeking down one side I can see that ALL accessible checkers have HUUUGE(the YYUUUUGGEST!) Lines and in the middle, completely blocked by a largish crowd of people listening to the live string quartet strategically positioned in the womens/girls clothes/jewelry department directly across from the checkers dead center of the row, is a group of 4 or 5 checkers just standing there, no lines, nobody checking out(cause nobody can get to them). Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuckety fuck! Don’t have time for this shit.
Ok boy, pick a line and get in. Just as I get in line, it moves up, like 3 carts worth(seems someone was doing monthly shopping)whoooohooo yeah!

Then the lady from the lowest levels of check out hell…

Cart full of toys and various household sundries. The clerk starts scanning and the string quartet starts a rousing rendition of…something not familiar to me. Customer lady is watching the clerk and says “wait, that ain’t the right price” whips out her phone, spends a couple moments (seemed like a fucking eternity) looking up some coupon or advert and showed the clerk. Shit! Gotta call a Supe over for some reason to override or something, I dunno.

She did this. For every. Third. Farking. Item. In. Her. Damn Cart! Then paid, using a combo of cards, none of which had enough on them to pay the entire amount.

Now I don’t have a problem with what she was doing per sé, but jeez lady, look around you, have a little awareness and maybe schedule your shopping for a little less of a busy time.

The happy ending to this (aside from getting home and prepped for company in time without breaking laws) was that the clerk, who was blatantly grumpy when I got up to the check stand, was smiling when I left, I like to think because I was polite (please and thank you) and wished him a better continuation of his evening.

2

In the past, I have abandoned a cart full of goods because the person in front of me in line actually took up the offer of saving ten percent on their purchase by opening up a store credit card (in their adult daughter’s name, no less), and apparently the stores procedure to this is to pump the breaks and stop all business at that register while the employee tracks down a manger who can finish the process of opening up a store credit card then and there at the tiller, never mind anyone else who might be in line.

I might have just taken my cart and walked to another register, but I had already placed most of the contents on the conveyor. After a couple minutes in line at an unattended register (with no one foolish enough to come in line behind me), I just left everything as it was and walked off. I’m sure some would take issue with me leaving a cart full of goods (including ice cream, which would have been warming to room temperature the whole time) on the conveyor for someone to restock, but I frankly don’t give a damn. They obviously didn’t give a damn about serving me.

3

I just don’t do any in-person shopping after December 1st or so. I can’t deal.

Fortunately, nearly everything is available online these days.

4

Dork- so happy you left check out hell and it’s employee in a happier place. Have a good party.

5

The interregnum between the Sears catalog and the internet must have been very difficult for you.

6

See: https://notalwaysright.com

7

Glad to know the story had a happy ending.

As somebody once said, “Being nice is just as easy as being nasty, and it makes you a helluva lot more friends.”

8

Except for those things you always run out of just before company comes, thereby necessitating a last-minute run to the store.

9

I don’t like doing any store at any time. But Christmas time really brings out my phobias. They are too numerous to mention.
Recently I was in a Walmart it was crowded and overbright. I felt my panic rising in my chest. I kinda felt nauseous so I ran to the ladies room. Got in a stall and leaned against the wall trying to breathe normally. Now, as phobias go, public restrooms rank pretty high on my list. It was better than the store, tho’.
I finally started to calm down. I opened my eyes. Someone scratched on the back of the door: “you’re not alone” with a (:)).
Damn. I was able to go shop and pay and leave on that bit of encouragement.
Remember: You’re not alone (:))

10

With all the clandestine cameras being hidden in restrooms these days, Beck, I’d worry…

I figure any pervert making a recording of me wiping my fat butt deserves the retching and dry heaves he’s sure to get.

We gotta get together one of these days. We’d have ener so much fun sharing neuroses!
~VOW

11

~VOW, omg! you kill me. If a hidden camera person gets a charge out of me literally having mental breakdown more power to 'em.
I wonder what they thought about time I laid down on the floor in a changing room and cried. The lil’wrekker had tried on 37 pairs of jeans. None worked. Aaaarrrggghhh!
I’m clearly mentally deranged 'cause now I give her the credit card and curl up in a fetal position at home while she shops for clothes.
We do need to hang out. Funtimes to be had!!

12

I once defaced the inside of a toilet stall in the church my parents made me go to, back when I was basically an atheist but still identified as catholic. Using a marker (I’m not a monster) I wrote “God is watching you” on the door, and then a pair of evil eyes right at eye level.

I mean, if there is a god and that god is omniscient/omnipresent, it’s true, right? That he (or she!) is watching you make your stool?

:cool:

13

I once has a job as the janitor at a church. That’s what I had to look for, and clean off when it appeared.

That wasn’t the worst of it. There was plenty else. 'Nuff said for now.

14

Well I officially feel REALLY stoop—id! Here I thought the little scratched in quip “you’re not alone (:))” was a nice message. It got me back in the store and shopping without a panic atttack. It meant something completely different.
Dammit. :smack: I’m such a Polly-anna.
I think I owe the universe a panic attack, or something.

15

I also have a new phobia, now. Great. Fear of messsges scratched or markered in bathroom stalls. Jiminy Crickets!!

16

For all of you who hate shopping, and/or hate shopping in December…

Pity me.

I’m at a register 20-30 hours a week these days.

To all of you who have dug deep and show patience, and even more so those that have shown politeness, patience, and understanding to those of us in the trenches…

Thank you.

I get it. I’m there for an eight and a half hour shift with the crying babies, the rabid adults, and every misbehavior, aggravation, and outrage you’ve seen and more. Trust me, we don’t like it any more than you do.

This morning I woke up with stiff joints and feet already upset by being stood upon all yesterday, and at 6 am I have to go outside, clean off my vehicle, and drive to another day of it all. My kitchen is nearly bare, because after a shift of dealing with all this some days I can’t even bring myself to shop for necessities for me. Little kids count the days until Christmas because they want presents. I count them because I want the madness to end.

17

You should have written another note by the paper towel dispensers: Take as many paper towels as you like. God’s over there watching that stall you just left.

18

Good luck in surviving the madness. Only 10 more shopping days.

My contribution to the welfare of those in your position who live around here is (a) stay the hell out of Wal-Mart, Target, the malls, and any other stores where people do Christmas shopping, and (b) if I absolutely must go to such a store, I take advantage of my early a.m. insomnia and go right about now (if they’re open 24 hours) or right when they open (if they’re not).

The local WallyWorld opens at 6am, and if I needed something from there, I’d already be dressed and checking my shopping list. The least I can do for you, if I must shop in your store, is be there when almost nobody else is.

I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t stand this time of year, and I know it has to be ten times worse for people working retail than it is for me, so I’m gonna be as pleasant as possible with them. If we help each other out, we’ll all get through it alive one more time.

19

Broomie may your peace and blessings be multiplied upon you in the after.

A Please and Thank You for you to help make up for the shits you have to deal with in the stenches of your job.
Beck the message in cases like this, is dependant on the recipient (you).

You weren’t wrong.

20

I was running errands on Friday morning, and I thought I might make a quick run into WalMart. yeah, right. I gave up when it became evident that I’d have to park in the next county. It’s not that I object to walking a bit farther; it’s because I realized all those cars belonged to people who’d be blocking the aisles and trying to figure out self-checkout for the very first time…

Leaving that madness behind was such a liberating feeling! :smiley: