My favourite was the local edition of our local (rural Oxfordshire) paper one Christmas. Huge black words splashed across the front page:
PET DUCK STOLEN
I want to move there!
Heck, when I lived in Oxford, “Pet Duck Stolen” was pretty big news. My favourite headline in the Oxford Mail was:
10p Can of Pringles
Christ almighty. I really hope Beckham’s foot heals in time, if only so we don’t have to put up with another four years of you lot saying “If Beckham hadn’t _______, we would have won the World Cup” …
Well we’re going to have to blame someone when we lose. 
Not to worry. I knew you were only joking. I was just getting my monthly fix of patriotism out.
The reason why they are making a big fuss, is because Beckham’s ‘team’ in this case is England. We (they) are all worried that he won’t be able to play for England in the world cup. I don’t really mind. Being a Liverpool FC fan I am just glad we’ve still got Michael Owen.
But even if it was MO who broke his fut I’d still think the fuss the news people are making is stupid.
(fut? how did that come out? I meant foot)
No. What made you think I did? If people are dying it’s important. If innocent people are dying it’s even more important. If an over-paid Man-U tosser breaks his foot it’s fucking not important!
It should only be important to his friends and immediate family, not the whole country!
Don’t patronise me. If anyone should grow up it’s people who think one human being injuring himself is more important than the worrying and complicated situation in the middle east. And it’s NOT old news because israel’s recent activity is quite new.
And don’t say “he’s not just ‘one human being’” because he is. Fame is an illusion. It tricks people into thinking that a few humans with enough confidence to act, or enough skill to hit a ball are somehow superior to the rest of us - us who all have abilities too.
And finally. I am not saying the news has done it wronger than they usually do. I know that baseball-guy breaking his wrist WOULD get more priority than mid-east. I just don’t like it!
People don’t think it’s “more important”, they think it is “more relevant to their lives”.
However indignant this makes people, you can’t argue with the basic truth of it.
There, you’ve touched on one of my pet peeves: The press telling us what’s important and forcing their opinions on to us.
I can’t remember the times that a story has broken overnight and in the morning the press are telling us that the country is outraged. WTF? How can the country be outraged when the public is just finding out about the story? Oh, I get it - The editor is outraged and wants us to be too.
Then you’ve got the importance that the press seem to think we put on soap stars, pop singers and sport stars. Once again, they’re telling us how important these people are to our lives. Sorry, I don’t give a shit who Robbie Williams shagged last weekend. Nor do I care about Victoria Beckham’s shopping habits.
David Beckham’s injury is all over the front pages, not because the vast majority of the British public is interested, but because the editors think we should be.
PUBLIC OUTCRY AT KAL ROBBIE BLAST
Calls for resignation after Kal’s unprovoked attack on Robbie Williams
In an unwarranted tirade, Kal slammed people’s favourite Robbie.
“I don’t give a sh*t who Robbie Williams shagged last weekend”, fumed Kal.
Kal, a regular poster to a so-called “message board” on the internet, well known for its pornographic content, went on to rant how he didn’t “care about Victoria Beckham’s shopping habits”.
Calls have been received for Kal’s resignation following the attacks.
Geri Halliwell refused to comment.
I’d just like to point out that the main ITV evening news devoted their first 7 and last 2 minutes to the story. Even as a football* fan who cannot breathe for anticipation of the world cup, this seems rather excessive to me. Even leaving the middle east aside, was there nothing else that was news that day? In the whole damned world? You have to devote a third of your news program to Beckham’s foot? And the most important third at that?
Note though lobley that the story would be a non-issue if the world cup wasn’t around the corner. It is because he is England’s captain and one of their star players and a vital player in a team that hopes to do well for the whole country that the story is given prominence.
Incidently, talking of local news: I got the Dorking Advertiser the other week, serving the town of Dorking and local villages. The headlines concerned a man that had tried to steal TWO (not one, but TWO) bottles of Bacardi from Sainsbury’s (utilising the space under his jumper, I understand - these cunning thieves) and a couple that had (wait for it) left the White Horse Inn without paying.
I tell you, this place is going to wrack and ruin. Urban hellhole. 
pan
*and yes, “soccer” is short for “association football”. As such when you say “soccer” you are implicitly saying “football”.
jjimm,
The editors don’t think we should be interested, they think we are interested. And - presumably - these editors can’t be far wrong about the celebrity-obsessed public, otherwise people would buy different papers.
Just your choice of crisis. The middle east isn’t the only human tragedy happening in the world at the moment but it is the one getting the most press.
In other words, news I don’t consider to be newsworthy shouldn’t be news. Newsflash lobley there are literally hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people in Great Britain who are interested in that ‘Overpaid Man-U tosser’ whether you like it or not. This makes the story relevant, front page material. Reread what I wrote about the Ethnocentricity of the press. It’s true, again, whether you like it or not.
Care to give any justification for why we’re not allowed to be interested in Beckham’s chances other than that you personally aren’t? Or are you just going to piss and moan because weeks of middle east coverage has been interrupted once by an event that actually interests other people.
P.S. - If you really give a flying fuck about the ‘the worrying and complicated situation in the middle east.’ are you really naive enough to think you will garner any sort of insight from the press? Go to the library and read a few books if you haven’t already. Go to Great Debates, do a search on the names Collounsbury, Sam Stone & Tomndebb in correlation with the words Middle East, Arafat, Sharon, Iraq, Iran, Israel, or Palestine and you’ll find plenty of insightful posts which will illuminate the situation for you far better than the comic book insights the press would have featured anyway.
Or, as ramesh said, you could ‘Grow up’ and ignore the tabloids in the first place. After all, the coverage was nowhere near as global as you made out. You just needed to pick up any reliable broadsheet to see that.
P.P.S. Check out the front page of today’s Guardian. See the name Beckham anywhere? I don’t. See 6 columns about the Middle East crisis plus details of 2 more pages of comment and analysis inside the paper? I most certainly do. The Beckham coverage was only for one lousy day anyway. Looks like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.
The Page 3 girl in today’s Sun is wearing a football kit (lower half only, of course), one runner and the other foot in a cast, and holding a crutch - all “in sympathy with David Beckham”.
This may well be the sickest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
I chose that simply as rhetoric to make the other point. I was simply choosing any serious news story to prove that the ‘story’ of beckhams foot was stupid. I am not particularly interested in the middle east crisis. Again it was just to make the point.
Not news to me. I know there are millions of people interested in Beckhams injury. I AM for god’s sake (for England’s sake Actually) I was ranting about the WAY the news was covering the broken foot of a football player as if it’s a serious tragedy in which people have died! They were treating it like a war! Again I am bothered for beckham’s appearance in the world cup. but the media is way overdoing it.
Erm NO because I didn’t say no-one was allowed to be interested in beckhams chances! I just said the news was overdoing it.
Please stop reading imaginary things and flaming me as the apparent author of them.
Patronising me too? (or was it you that did it the other time). I don’t give a serious fuck about the situation, just a little bit of a fuck. not enough of a fuck to go beyond the media in finding out about it. In fact I would rather not even do that. But sometimes I have no choice.
Your point? I was talking about the mass media. (maybe I should have said so. but I thought it went without saying at the time)
One day?! do you walk around with your eyes closed. or are you just lucky enough to avoid every tv program capable of showing news.
Anyway. I am not trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill. the media has done that already. I am trying to make a molehill out of a mountain.
Anyway Gomez. This is the BBQ Pit for pete’s sake. Since when are posts here supposed to be rational.
My post bypassed my rational filter because I knew I was posting to the BBQ Pit.
Hence the term ‘Man-U tosser’ I am an LFC fan. that means I have a god-given right to hate anything manchester related.
(especialy oasis! ughh)
It’s all irrational here. Live with it!
What, including the directors’ box at Ibrox? 'Course your big mistake there was buying the Sun in the first place (or did you find it on the bus?)
Cow-orker leaves it in the lunchroom every day.
Really, everton, you ought to know me better than that