A curse on you, 'frozen desserts'!

Cafe Society
1

It used to be that real ice cream and the fake stuff were clearly separated in the frozen aisles. There was ice cream, and then the ‘frozen dairy desserts’ over with the soy ice cream, sorbets, frozen yogurts and other ‘like ice cream but not really ice cream’ confections.

But now they have invaded the ice cream section! They lurk insidiously, just waiting for the poor sap looking for their neapolitan fix to grab the wrong package. I was that poor sap the other day. Little did I know that the paragon of ice cream, Breyers, was hiding their artificial ice cream product amongst the real thing.

Ugh, I hate the fake stuff. It’s way too fluffy and resembles Cool Whip more than ice cream. You know the spray cheese stuff that comes in the pressurized can? It’s like that, only cold. Ick.

What other dastardly products have crept into certain spaces for y’all?

2

I’ve recently noticed Coca-Cola’s “Bright and Early” juice drinks intruding into the refrigerated/fresh juice sections of stores. Half-gallon cartons of “orange drink” and “apple drink” priced nearly the same as half gallons of orange and apple juice. The apple juice seems particularly bizarre. Orange juice is acidic, often pulpy, and I could faintly conceive of a situation where someone wants an orange-juice-like drink but doesn’t want orange juice. Apple juice, on the other hand, is pretty much light brown sugar water already. It’s the go-to for cheap manufacturers who want to make “juice drinks” but don’t want anything too expensive… so to make a HFCS-water blend flavored with apple just seems like an attempt to fulfill a need that doesn’t exist.