I’m a reporter for A Big-Deal Newspaper. Here’s how yesterday went:
My phone extension is similar to that of the IT Desk. When it rang, I picked up and said – slowly, distinctly – “Hello, newsroom. This is Mercy Street.” My dingbat colleague on the other line said, “Yes, hello. This is Dingbat and I can’t log on.” This happens several times a day.
My phone extension also happens to be similar to the subscriber line. Despite a clearly worded outgoing message on my voicemail – a message that kindly but firmly directs subscribers to the other line – I came back from a meeting to three messages, all starting with a variation of, “This is Mrs. Loyal Subscriber and I didn’t get my paper this morning.”
Relative to a story I was writing, I e-mailed a woman who had posted on an Internet bulletin board and invited people to contact her. I explained who I was, how I had reached her, blah blah blah. Yesterday, after the story had run, this was her e-mailed reply: “What do you want? How old are you?”
All I can offer you is this concrete wall upon which to beat your head. It won’t make you feel any better, but it might distract you for a while.
And I can sympathise. We used to have a home number that was one digit off from a pizza place. Lucky for us, they went out of business pretty fast. Another time, our number was ever so slightly different from a local garage. Since I used the same garage, I knew the correct number and redirected the callers.
I’m right there with ya, Mercy. I work for A Small-Deal Newspaper and get the same crap.
Last week I e-mailed a woman asking her for some information, adding that there was no rush as we had no paper (a by-week). This was Wednesday. I said we could meet for an interview Thursday or Friday.
She immediately replies with, “I’m very busy with meetings this afternoon so I can’t meet you right now.”
Gordon, I’m starting to believe that people who read out products – yours and mine – are big dum-dum-heads. Surely you get a lot of, “Well, he’ll be in tomorrow. How about he calls you back then?” And you’re left to explain that TOMORROW will be too LATE to get HIS side of the STORY into the THE DAY’S PAPER.
Encinitas, good thinking. I had a chance to switch phone lines when a desk near mine was vacated. Alas, that phone rings non-stop – mostly prisoners looking to gab with the legal-affairs reporters. Ugh. … And yes, the username is Peter Gabriel!
Hehe. I’ve worked part-time as a sports correspondent at our paper. I’ve gotten some great calls.
“Sports department.”
“Yeah, can you tell me the score of (game being played right then).”
Now, if it was a local game played that day (and thus wouldn’t be found anywhere), we usually accomodated people. But we all had great laughs farking with people who would ask us scores about nationally televised games in progress.
“I don’t know, we don’t have a TV here.” “Why don’t you just buy our paper tomorrow? It’ll say who won.” Or we’d just make a score up, and an outrageous one at that.
The worst was when drunks would call us from bars to settle bets.
(btw Mercy, your paper isn’t looking for sportswriters by any chance are they?)
Elwood, the national desk is pulling some switcheroos. I’ll check it out this afternoon.
Some more favorites:
“Hello, newsroom. This is MercyStreet.”
“Yes, hello. I think you people should do a nice write-up on…”
I’m not even nice anymore. I can’t take the time to explain that “nice write-ups” are but a fantasy burping through the collective mind of middle America. NO ONE IN THE FREAKING DAILY NEWS BUSINESS DOES “NICE WRITE-UPS.” I don’t ask how in the hell the caller got my desk. I no longer suggest that the caller go pester the Podunk Weekly. I simply hang up.
Another:
“Hello? In your story about the 25 teenagers mowed down by a rollerskate, you got it all wrong. I don’t know where you’re getting your information from or why you chose to write such a biased, slanted, libelous, slanderous, inaccurate, sensational, twisted account. I saw the whole thing and…”
Callers like this always seem to miss the following phrases: “police said,” “according to prosecutors,” “according to interviews with the victims,” “Six witnesses told investigators that…”.
Another:
“Hi. I’m a 4th-grade teacher and I have a great “good news” story for you. One of my classes is…”
Oh, yeah. You’ve come to the right place. Let me pencil you in between Gary Hart and Joseph Lieberman. Or I can transfer you to the Special Projects desk, although they’re knee-deep in … tell you what. How about you get in touch with our guys in London? Labour Party mutiny aside, it was a slow day in the House of Commons and I’m sure someone will be delighted to interview the kids about their hamster project. Hang on while I transfer…
Sounds frustrating, but in the callers’ defense, they don’t know they’ve been transferred to the wrong desk. You should beat up on the switchboard operator. She’s the dunce.
Just wondering, FCM, did you ever pretend to be the pizza place and act like you were taking people’s orders, arranging deliveries, etc.? I know I’d have a lot of fun doing something like this if I were in this situation. Perhaps this is why they went out of business so fast. I once read about a guy who was always getting calls for a 7-11 whose number was similar to his home number. He originally asked the store to change its number but they more or less told him to blow it out his ass. This is when he started telling callers about outrageous specials on pop, beer, gas prices, etc. The store changed its number after a couple of weeks.
Actually, Kalhoun, our switchboard folks are remarkably accurate. I think the problem is this: Readers see a byline in the paper and figure, “Oh, here’s someone I can talk to.” And they dial away.
If I deal with a subscriber “live,” I’m always genial. Sometimes I get gabbing with the caller – find out where she’s going on vaca, or why he wants to cancel the subscription. To me, these are real people who took time out of their day to deal with a small problem or issue, and who am I to give them a rough time about misdialing? … It’s the subscribers who somehow miss the voicemail message that really kill me.
Now that I’ve griped about annoying callers, I should say that some callers/letter writers get in touch solely to say, “Hey, I liked that story.” Or: “You wrote about a really important issue and I’m so glad to see it getting some ink.” And this one makes me really happy: “I saw your article, and I’m wondering where I can (donate, volunteer, find more information, sign up)?”
I can’t say HOW MUCH I appreciate when a crossing guard or a rocket engineer or a janitor calls and says, “Listen, this isn’t worth a correction or anything, because it’s a small point. But next time your write about XYZ, you might want to throw in…” And the caller imparts a little knowledge that makes future stories richer or clearer. Love that.
Actually, it sounds like a great job you’ve got there! What major city do you work in? (My city has a couple major papers, so I wouldn’t track you down with subscription gripes, I promise!)
:rolleyes:
Anyway, I agree with the “nice write-up” thing. When somebody calls me and says that I immediately know I don’t have to bother remembering whatever they are talking about.
Unfortunately, as I work on what equates to a small-town paper, we end up doing a lot of crappy stories like that anyway.
Nah - I’d never do that - pizza’s too important!! They went under because their pizza was marginal to nasty. We made the mistake of ordering from them once. Only once.
I had a coworker whose number was nearly the same as a local radio station. He used to tell callers that they’d won all kinds of outrageous prizes, including cars and vacations, and tell them to come to the station to claim them. I don’t know if the radio station ever figured out which wrong number was being dialed, but my friend eventually got bored and changed his number.
I once read about a guy who was always getting calls for a 7-11 whose number was similar to his home number. He originally asked the store to change its number but they more or less told him to blow it out his ass. This is when he started telling callers about outrageous specials on pop, beer, gas prices, etc. The store changed its number after a couple of weeks.