No, but they pretend not being into WoW and Halo and being into Farmville, when the target girls are totally into Farmville yet totally not into computer games.
Funny, I was going to say the same thing about people who worry too much about posers. 
(just teasing, OP)
Why not live YOUR life; let other people live theirs to grow at their own pace? Exclusionary barbs and needles for people who you don’t like: this is really worth writing about to you? No, its shallow and vain… such an utter waste of your writing talent.
Feel free to vent if that’s what this is about; better to have it out than in before moving past it.
Today’s Lesson: “Why Confidence is Bad”.
There may be some small sub-set of the members of the learning curve climbing up to B from A who try to show confidence, but why is this such a threat? Don’t you have confidence? Why aren’t they allowed? 
+1 with applause.
Exactly; all that was missing was “I was late for homeroom; I sure hope I don’t get detention.”
This is the distinction. A hobbyist will stick with something over a longer period for personal enjoyment in their free time; the so-called posers quit like the people who stopped using their gym membership in March.
Measure their metal with a calendar… and if someone keeps measuring them over and over with the same result, question the measurer.
Posers offer a negative element to a group. At the very least, they give the group a negative association. Think about a hiking group or gym that constantly gets men joining solely so they can perv on women. This group will start to develop a negative association, women will feel unsafe and it will devolve into a sausagefest full of guys with no interest in the activity itself. To actually function, they will have to police themselves so heavily with rules and standards that it will take away the fun causalness of the activity.
At worst posers are dangerous. Posers love attention and are showboats. They can do things that compromise the safety of others.
Where my brother lives, military service members get treated like demigods. It’s a pretty conservative area. A guy walking around in BDUs (or whatever the current acronym is now) gets a positive reaction. There is definitely a subset of the population there joining the military for that social status. I guess I just find this attitude dangerous; when you’re responsible for the safety of others, potentially compromising the safety of others in a far off country, doing it solely for social status back home means your decisions aren’t getting made with much personal conviction.
Similarly, we like to whomp on religious fundamentalists here, and I gotta wonder how many really believe all the woo or they are just in it for the social status.
You may be teasing, but I really do have to wonder about the maturity level of someone who feels compelled to think about stuff like this. Seriously, someone who goes around labeling people as “posers” is practically screaming to the world how much of a poser they secretly believe themselves to be.
I know there are snobs at my yoga studio who smirk about the influx of new attendees right after the New Year, who then seem to disappear by March. I can’t help but think that perhaps if those snobs didn’t exist, those so-called posers would actually stick around longer.
I have my special interests that I’m practically obsessed about. But I also do my fair share of dabbling. Joined an orchestra my first year here and decided it was too much work, so I quit. I took ceramics classes for awhile, then stopped. I will get a wild hair to learn a new song on my keyboard. And then once I learn the first bar, I get sidetracked and go on to something else. I’m sure someone who listens to me talk about my latest projects thinks I’m one of those “jacks of all trades, masters of none.”
But life is too short to do one thing, IMHO. Life is also too short to care what about people think. The main reason why people suffer in loneliness and boredom is because they are afraid to ignore the judging eyes and just try something new, no matter how weird they look doing it.
Bull. Or were you expecting me to say, “Thank you sir, may I have another?” People who think that way need to concentrate on themselves & leave other people alone. It seems a given that people who get validation by tearing down others could use a little work.
Its true; while I was out biking, a poser bike enthusiast bumped into me.
Don’t. You. Laugh…! My Schwinn Died!!! :eek:
That said, if someone sees a poser in their world they feel is dangerous to themselves?
Maybe they should just stay away from them.
Its the “walk away” rule:
paraphrased “No One is responsible for your safety but You.”
There’s a specific distinction to make here. Joining a hiking group because you like hiking isn’t going to upset anyone. That’s why the hiking group exists. Joining a hiking group because you want to spend time with other human beings while hiking isn’t going to upset anyone. That’s hiking group exists.
Joining a hiking (or any other non-romantic hookup group) group with the purpose of finding a relationship is probably going to offend and upset others because that’s not why they are there. They are there to go hiking in the company of other people.
There’s a growing discussion about the sense of entitlement some men have when it comes to social interaction with women they are attracted to. Some men would go into this thinking that their presence means the women are obligated to welcome their advances, need to put aside their plans for a pleasant hike in the company of others, and focus just on this one guy who wants a girlfriend. Anything short of that, and the woman is considered defensive, hostile, or bitchy because she’s not giving the man what he believes he’s entitled to.
Obviously, this does not apply to all men, all women, or all hiking groups, but there are many, many women out there who’ve had their enjoyable pastime spoiled by a guy who has no concept of the possibility that these women have their own interests and goals and might possibly prefer to be left alone.
You’re not getting it. People who dabble are not posers. I’ve mentioned that multiple times in the thread. I’m talking about creeps who join your yoga group so they can be behind you while everybody is in the downward facing dog position. Stuff like that.
In your perfect world, nobody cares what other people think. So why are you so hypersensitive to the idea someone’s opinion might take away from your enjoyment? According to you, it shouldn’t matter, and if they bother to bring it up, then they are just jealous mundanes right?
Phouka brought up what I am talking about. It can happen in a lot of ways-
-In the common example, using hiking as a way of pestering women for dates. I’m not taking about going to a speed dating event, or Events and Adventures gatherings. I’m talking about events where the primary purpose is the event itself.
-Imagine if someone was proselytizing at some group event. People are being kind of pushovers about it which allows it to continue. They aren’t there for the activity, they’re present for the captive audience.
What kind of groups are these? If it is that easy to “infiltrate” them, then I seriously question whether there’s truly a group identity worth fretting about.
If you’re talking about meet ups or any other collection of people who start out as strangers and gradually, through a series of scheduled activities, move up the ladder to acquaintances and maybe even friends, then I laugh at the idea that a “poser” represents any kind of danger. You can be a bona fide hiking fanatic and still be a creep; you can also be a lonely dabbler just looking for a niche and be a perfectly fine, non-creepy person. The former is a lot more dangerous than the latter because they are harder to eject from the group. They might even be the organizer of the group.
In sum, if “posers” violate your group’s sense of being so much that you are constantly on the look out for them, it suggests that you–not the “posers”–are attracted to the pack for reasons that have less to do with the activity and more to do with feeling special and superior.
See also white folks who obsessed over “passers”.
As I pointed out above, you are equating posers with creeps and in doing so, using the term in a way that deviates from the meaning most people use.
I can assure you that there are many geeks who are authentically interested in their hobby who also use events as an opportunity to be creepy (a two-fer if you will). A person who is lonely or bored and is looking to find a semi-interesting hobby that gets him out of the house need not be a creep either. So which one of these people is a poser?
If there are creeps in my yoga studio doing this, I wouldn’t know. Maybe they exist, but I’m just too busy focusing on my own mat to notice them.
If someone is actually being creepy, then yes, they are creepy. But if a guy is in the room looking at women’s asses but isn’t being obvious about it and not bothering anyone, then why the hell should anyone worry about them? That’s what you don’t seem to be getting.
In my ideal world, nobody cares what assholes think. The more we care about what assholes think, the more we have to put up with their asshole opinions and ideas. I ain’t got nothing against people. Just assholes.
Why do you care so much that I disagree with you? If my opinion doesn’t matter, then why are you talking to me right now? If you know you are right that the posers are ruining the world for everyone, you really shouldn’t care what “spergy weirdos” like me think. Right?
The real group and then all those other wannabes. Talk about human nature. And they can mess up group dynamics. in fact, anyone new joining a group, competent or not, is going to change the way the group operates.
But is it right, or fair, in a society that talks acceptance and inclusivity to want to hang on to that baser of our natures of wanting to be with our own real people? Most of us find other personal styles, especially if they are “wrong,” off-putting.
Whenever I’ve belonged to a successful group of people I’ve watched how they welcome people in and by subtle social pressure impress the groups’ values on Mr. Newbie. If there is a mismatch of ideals eventually this will come to a sort of crisis and MN will either adjust or move on It’s only dangerous to the group if the group hasn’t developed long enough to be strong in its unity and sincerity. Then sometimes the group will fold in chaos.
When the poser eventually makes his appearance I remind myself that he’ll either learn to blend in or he will leave. Rarely has this failed to be true as long as the group is strong in purpose.
I think the whole key, again, is confidence - in this case a confident and well-functioning group. They’ll have no need to fear the odd man out or to ostracize him. Inclusivity and education make good companions.
I have gym rat friends who are the same way. They bemoan how crowded the gym is in January and February with n00bs. I always point out to them that without those fat sweaty n00bs paying for year memberships and then dropping out, their own memberships would be far more expensive. They don’t like that.
I think there’s some confusion in this thread between posers and newbs. I mean, we were all new at some point to whatever interests we enjoy, and anyone who hazes new people just for being new is an asshole. Posers, where someone is into the accouterments and outward image of a subculture more than the actual doing of the activity, is a whole different thing.
No, I’m not sure it is. Sexism maybe, but hypocracy? I’e only heard about this behaviour (from male geeks) recently and have no idea what their motivation would be. From suggestions below I find it far more likely to be a clique behaviour. Us vs them. As in “Hey women always rejected me because I like comic books but now they say they like them too. This bothers me because (reasons?)”
- I doubt that’s the reason.
- What sort of things do you think ‘many male geeks’ do to attract women?
- Women never do this? Really?
- I really doubt that female geek poseurs (if they in fact exist) are trying to meet men.
That does seem to be the case in this scenario.
BrianJ, the fake geek girl they are taking about seems to relish in the attention. If a an attractive woman who doesn’t trail a scent of cat pee starts hanging around a group of male geeks, she’s going to get attention. Maybe the Alpha Nerd of the group is threatened by this attention or jealous.
I said guys that bitch about fake geek girls are hypocrites because they would be doing the exact same thing in a New York minute if they could get away with it. Their complaint is ironic. Acting like they are being cliquey about it is probably also an excuse for feeling envious that there are people who can navigate different social groups.
I know I came to this thread to see if anybody remembered the Poseurs (a bar in DC - 80s and 90s) and someone did! That was nice.
I’m leaving this thread never wanting to join any hiking groups or yoga classes. Too much weird stuff going on. 
Ive never witnessed this behaviour, Beyond hearing about it on the internet I wouldn’t have known it exists.
That said, I have come across people who think only guys can like ‘my interest’, whether that is gaming, comics, Sci fi etc.
Shows like Big Bang Theory reenforce this attitude. The guys on the show love comics, etc, and all the women have no clue about them. This seems to fit Penny’s personality ok, but why Bernadette and especially Amy?
In online games if some guys find a woman is actually behind a female toon, that’s giving them some kind of ‘ok’ to get rude and disgusting.
Sure, maybe they are thinking it’s ‘payback’ for how they feel they’ve been treated in the past.
I think an example of both male and female posers can be found on sites like youtube. People want lots of views, so they can make money off youtube videos. They might decide to post some movies about Doctor Who, for instance, because it will attract lots of viewers, even if they have no idea what Doctor Who is about.
This fake geek girl think you mentioned though, what’s in it for the woman? An attractive woman can get attention doing just about anything, so why a comic convention, lets say, instead of something she’s actually interested in?
Presumably the demographics at a comic convention mean there would be more men to provide the attention, and fewer women to compete with for it.
I went to a reunion last summer. It was…kind of weird. But OK. If you stop by DC and want a beer, let me know. I like to say I miss the old DC, when it was a shithole, but really I think I’m missing my youth.
[QUOTE=Charlie Wayne]
Lately, I have joined some associations that are 12 step groups that help people get away from alcohol or drug addiction. In addition, (get ready for this!), I’ve also joined message boards with the same idea.
[/QUOTE]
Am I understanding correctly that you go to AA or NA but you don’t have issues with substance addiction? This has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve read recently.
Posing in 12 step recovery groups could potentially really damage a very vulnerable person. People fighting addictions can be fragile and gullible. Posing at AA is deplorable. In fact, I would say such behavior surpasses posing and borders on predatory.