While there are plenty of hobbies full of genuinely passionate people, there are always going to be a subset of posers in it for all the wrong reasons. Several discussions on the SDMB have suggested poserdom for a few specific hobbies. The phenomenon of the “fake geek girl” is the belief that some women get into geeky hobbies not for the hobby itself, but to get attention from guys. Accusing women of being “fake” like this wasn’t limited to geeky hobbies; they get side eyed if they come off as a huge sports fan or into other stereotypically male hobbies.
However, there are plenty of people into something for the wrong reasons. The thread about Meetup mentioned how guys would join hiking groups in order to pick up women. It was obvious that they weren’t there because they enjoyed the activity itself, they did it to get close to people they were interested in. Maybe some people find it endearing, but most would find it transparent and creepy. I think this happens for the following reasons:
-A lonely or boring person wants to make themselves seem more “interesting” to others. They understand being passionate in something (particularly social) is seen as a positive trait for both men and women; a person who is passionate is dedicated and hard working. They’ll always have something interesting to talk about. Whether it’s music, sports, charity, etc. In addition, many passions require positive traits (patience, empathy, discipline, social intelligence, organization, etc) that are a positive mark on the person.
-Hobbies and interests that are semi-obscure make for good conversation material, because it’s not so mundane and banal to be conversation filler, yet not so obscure to be impossible to relate to. These can make the person come off as interesting since other people are more likely to be curious and ask questions.
Problems with poserdom:
-The poser sees all this stuff in reverse, or just part of a bigger picture. It’s a cargo cult mentality. They want to be interesting, but do it in just a transparent and insincere way that it’s obvious to most. The guy in meetups joining hiking groups but spending all the time pestering women for their phone numbers, for example.
-They often try way too hard. Posers only care how others see them; they may not even care about the activity, but seem to pursue it in the place of having an actual personality. I see a lot of (younger) geeks that really flog the “lol random monkeycheese” angle, and they all rabidly claim that they are genuinely into whatever sillyness they are putting on display. If I see a guy in public wearing a stovepipe hat, or riding a unicycle, or saying internet memes out loud, it’s more likely he is deliberately doing it to come off as quirky and eccentric. Dating websites are notorious for bringing out “tryhards” since you are limited in your first impression. People often double down on the weirdness factor hoping their profile will stand out. Problem is that it’s more likely to backfire.
-Posers are often lazy in real life and want all the benefits of a popular hobby without any of the work. DeviantArt, Etsy, and blogs are bloated with people like this. Often to get good at something, it takes a lot of dedication and work. It’s not always fun and easy to get to the good parts. But posers don’t care about any of that because nobody is going to see the effort, only the result. So they think if they can emulate the “result” of hard work, they’ll get the same degree of credit.
-Posers can spoil many hobbies for other people and make it harder to convince people you are genuinely interested in something. Think of a really outgoing, talkative guy who wants to hike with other people. He joins a meetup for a group hike and most of the others are women. Because he’s very extroverted, he makes conversation with them. If their previous experience had involved getting pestered by men on hikes, then their reaction might be standoffish or defensive. It’s not his fault, but all the other creepos before him have made it harder for him to convince others he likes hiking for the sake of hiking.