I like certain girly things, like jewelry, purses, and dressing up. I dislike other girly things, like fashion magazines and Desperate Housewives and malls. I don’t have a contempt for those things, I just don’t care for them personally.
Sometimes I tend to be especially hard on things like romantic comedies, because their depiction of love isn’t interesting or exciting or accurate to me. Many of them seem pretty insulting to both genders. Women are often not permitted to have real flaws in these films… one reason I love science fiction like Battlestar Galactica so much is because it takes all of its characters seriously. To give an example of two strong female characters – Starbuck is a self-defeating alcoholic trouble-maker and the President is a stubborn ideologue with occasional forays into religious mania–these are both people with serious, real flaws, but they are both vital to the plotline, sympathetic, and believable characters. The creators manage to do this without robbing them of their identity as women. It is a really beautiful thing to behold, and I almost never see it. Instead, I see cute and quirky female protagonist after cute and quirky female protagonist doing and having it all because She’s Worth It.
I’m not cute and quirky and I can’t have it all. I am a glaringly flawed, slightly insane, nonetheless worthwhile person who is tired of being represented by props instead of people.
As for Sex and the City… this comic about sums up my feelings. It feels more like a parody of what women are supposed to be interested in than a depiction of what women are actually interested in.
I guess sometimes I have feelings of hostility toward certain subjects or interests because as a woman in society it’s pretty much always expected as a topic of conversation among women. At work, for example, every conversation among the women I work for revolves around babies, shopping, and cooking. I don’t have any kids, I feel ambivalent about shopping, and I like cooking but find it incredibly tedious to discuss. I recently went to the eye-doctor and all he talked about was how I should never force my husband to go shopping with me. And then I was hanging out in a chocolate store and the owner commented that his chocolate ‘‘eliminates the need for men’’ as if I’m the person behind all those stupid man-bashing e-mail forwards and he can use that to get me to buy his chocolate.
So after a while, I just get sick of it.
I agree that stereoyypically girly things are often treated with contempt on the Dope. My Mom had contempt for stereotypically girly things and really tried to convince me that typical female pursuits are worthless and superficial. In my opinion this is a real sour grapes attitude… she’s pissed off that she didn’t have anyone to relate to, so instead of validating her own interests she demonized someone else’s.
Then there is the, ‘‘must prove I am equal to men’’ mentality that a lot of girls get. I hung out with a lot of guys growing up, and they basically only think you’re cool if you denounce all things girly. I see the same dynamic here – women have respect on the Dope as long as they aren’t interested in woman things. Because being a woman is basically a character flaw you have to overcome. So I imagine a lot of us downplay our girlier pursuits in an effort to fit in better.
> I still have a bit of respect for being able to wobble around without wobbling around.
