I definitely agree there is contempt on the Dope for girly things. That bagborroworsteal thread in the Pit a year or so ago is a great example. Spending money on geeky things is fine, spending money on girly things is frowned upon.
I’ve never been a girly-girl and it doesn’t matter to me if other women like the stereotypical girly stuff. However, I hate with the heat of a thousand suns when someone who doesn’t know me assumes that because I have girl bits, I must like jewelry, shoes, fashion, makeup, whatever. I know it’s not typically meant as demeaning, but it still makes me stabby.
For example, every year, my husband and I go to the Annapolis Sailboat Show to look at the boats and the boat stuff. While I don’t share his passion for winches and self-steering and other boating toys that he lusts after, I still go to the show looking for ideas or products for our boat. And invariably, we’ll stop at a booth where my spousal unit is discussing some toy with a vendor, and the salesguy makes some comment about my husband better buy me a piece of gold bling to make up for the gizmo he’s looking at. :rolleyes:
My daughter is a girly girl, but she must have learned it on the streets, :eek: because she sure didn’t get it from me…
It comes up in wedding threads too. Sensible, “right” women want small weddings, whereas vain, shallow, frivolous women want large princess weddings.
I’ve noticed this trend on the dope, yes. 600 dollars on a PS3 with modified whositwatsit and 30mu thingamabob? Badass! $60 dollar Manono Whatevers Bag? Frivolous! Stupid! Shallow! Conspicuous consumption!
But there’s contempt on the Dope for a LOT of things - people who like steak rare call those who like steak well-done names, there’s heated discussion of computer issues, all kinds of things seem ripe for disdain.
I’ve also seen Posts of Disdain™ in threads in Cafe Society regarding sports, sitcoms, movies, books, etc.
I’m not sure that the disdain shown for “girlie” topics is different just because those topics are being discussed by women and the others are being discussed by both men and women.
YMMV, of course.
I’ve never seen anyone a computer thread make a comment about how only shallow people spend a lot of money on computers, though, which is a comment that comes up all the time in “girly” threads, as torie pointed out.
I have a few really girly things I just love. For instance, I freaking love Nora Roberts books. They are wonderfully fun! I refer to them as “Doritos for the brain” because they aren’t intellectual or anything but they are really enjoyable. I have actually convinced a few men to read them without really trying. It is too funny to me when I am sitting on the subway reading a romance novel and a guy next to me asks what I’m reading so I tell him the name and the author followed by a brief description of the story. After I say, “Well, it is the 2nd book in a trilogy about an evil spirit that has been tormenting this town and the six people who are fighting against it. Technically it is a romance novel but except for the 4 or 5 pages of sex in the middle you’d never know it.” they always write down Nora Roberts’ name and the name of the book so that they can check it out later. I hope they mention me when their girlfriend asks why he is digging through her bookshelf. 
I’ve noticed that too. And guys will think nothing of talking about dropping serious money on a new computer or TV. But if I don’t care about getting new electronic equipment, and I’d take the money I’d spend on that and buy a nice dress or a cool new bracelet, where’s the harm?
I haven’t noticed anyone coming in to threadshit in any of the girlier threads, not lately anyway. But in other threads, I definitely have noted the theme of, “Man, what a WASTE.” Which I rarely if ever see directed at people talking about comp/video games and the like.
I don’t love chick lit myself, but I kind of love to hate it. I enjoy blogging and snarking it, so even though I think most of it stinks, I do kind of enjoy its existence. Kind of.
Ding ding ding! Winner
Oh, I just re-found the bagborroworsteal thread. “Them womens sure is PECULIAR. Insane, even!”
Yep! How many threads do we have about women being shallow for liking fancy purses or pretty jewelry? Probably just as many as we do about men buying huge TVs, new/vintage cars, the latest video games/consoles, etc. While I think status handbags are dumb, I also think status cars or having the absolutely newest video game/system is equally dumb. The “newest-latest-fastest-shiniest-coolest-awesomest” stupidity comes in all forms. Purses and shoes are only one of those forms.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with liking a well-crafted purse or an aesthetically pleasing piece of jewelery. Now, when you have to have it purely because it’s cool, popular, or just “the latest thing,” that’s dumb.
Not to mention the vitriol is usually directed at high end clothes, bags and jewelry (you get a pass on this site if you buy $10 jeans at Wal-Mart). A Hermes or Gucci bag might cost a fortune but it will last forever unlike geek toys which are constantly rotated out in favor of the latest thing.
It isn’t just limited to electronics though. IIRC, I’ve seen a number of threads where men have spoken about watches or cars or guitars they own or would like to purchase, those threads get a pass, as well.
I am not a girly girl at all. That being said, and back when I was thin and pretty according to common media taste [the 70s and 80s] I could and occasionally did wear female clothes, and could actually walk in high heels. I did know how to and occasionally applied makeup [mainly for job interviews]
I have a very specific taste in clothing, which is in general NOT in style. I detest makeup, and I don’t care how hypoallergenic/noncomedogenic/whatever the fuck you want to claim for it, half an hour and my face turns into pizza. I have fantastic skin and hair as I do not abuse it with make up and styling gunk and hair dryers. [although I do admit that I have now a lack of oil issue thanks to the hysterectomy]
I do not like most chick lit, if I want 2 people screwing I will get porn ad cut to the chase. I do not like chick films as if I want 2 people screwing I will get porn. I see no reason to own 35 sets of shoes. I see no reason to have 45 freaking purses [when I do bother to carry a purse, it is because I now use either a wheel chair or crutches and it is easier than trying to carry crap in my hands like a water bottle and keys and a cell phone]
Damn straight. That’s why I loved the movie Legally Blonde so much. Hey, it’s possible to be girly, bubbly, outgoing… AND smart! Duh!
I think that girly interests are looked down upon here. Obviously there are threads about girly topics, but they’re outnumbered (in my general reading) by threads or posts that make it pretty clear that stuff like that is shallow). I mean, c’mon, I’ve even read posts insinuating that women who wear underwire bras have more vanity than common sense. Sheesh.
I love purses (I have a cute purple leather one), nail polish, fashion, shoes, getting neat hairstyles, the color pink, cooking and baking, etc.
But I also enjoy D&D, WoW, learning for the fun of it (I actually did a co-worker’s Anthropology 101 homework for fun once), work in IT doing level 2 software support, Ren Fests, complex knitting, science fiction, taught myself the Cyrillic alphabet (just how to read/pronounce/write in it) one summer because I was bored, etc.
I’ve found a lot of people will sneer if I start talking about some cute shoes, but suddenly I’m “okay” if I mention my plans to queue up for a dungeon in WoW that night. It’s quite possible to be smart and awesome and, :: gasp :: like “girly” things.
YES YES YES! That’s exactly it. And I find it sad and mildly disgusting, to be honest.
Wearing an UNDERWIRE BRA is vanity? What is the alternative? I mean, aren’t most bras underwire bras? And why are they vanity?
Yea, I’d like to read a thread that mentioned/insinuated that… Or maybe not, as I’d like to slap someone.
But see, this is the problem if someone approaches a group of 5 or more women and starts making generalizations about them:
One of them will dislike each and every girly thing you mention/approach the group.
The rest will like some stereotypically female stuff, but it won’t be the same!
Three out of the remaining four:
[ul]
[li]Would like to have/already have kids[/li]
[li]Like fashion, but not necessarily the same. One may be into shoes, the other one skirts, the other one hairstyles.[/li]
[li]Enjoy cooking baking[/li][/ul]
Two out of the remaining four:
[ul]
[li]Enjoy knitting[/li]
[li]Love dancing[/li]
[li]Adore makeup[/li][/ul]
And the thing is, there will be overlap in all of those.
I’m assuming it’s because they are considered more uncomfortable than bras with no underwire, so those of use who wear them must be wearing them because we are slaves to fashion or pandering to some gender stereotype or just out to attract men with our boobs or . . . I dunno.
I’ve also noticed the contempt for girlie things on the Dope, but invariably in my experience, the thread-shitter is another woman. It seems to me (as alluded to above) that certain women try to gain status by dissociating themselves with stereotypically feminine pasttimes.
I’ve always been sort of an odd girly-tomboy. I was the girl playing in the mud or climbing trees in a skirt. Now I’m the woman that puts make-up on to go get all sweaty playing disc golf. I’ll squee over kittens and pretty eyeshadow or an awesome blue leather wallet, then blow people up in Halo.
I don’t understand the women that are nearly always girly, but I figure that’s no different than not understanding why my boyfriend likes Final Fantasy style games, or him not getting my love for horror movies. Why have contempt for something that just isn’t your thing?
Wow, lots of thoughtful answers. I like the distinction that’s been made between enjoying certain girly things (say, handbags or shoes) and wanting to talk about them. Even though I love purses, I’m not wishing there were more threads here to talk about them. If I see someone IRL with a cute bag I might comment on it, but it’s really not a topic that I spend any time discussing. Part of what was bothering me about what I’ve read and observed here re: girly topics was summed up well by HazelNutCoffee