Again, please allow me to thank each and everyone who has posted in my earlier threads. Your concerns, thoughts, poems and prayers have been a great source of encouragement in this time of grief. The response was overwhelming and reassured us of the goodness of humanity.
The story is winding down, we will now go back to the “real world” if anyone knows what that is. I will return to work tomorrow, TW will continue to recover from the stress of childbirth, this time under the overprotective eyes of her mother. We now have five adults, five chairs, four women, three languages, and two generations in one apartment. In spite of this, or perhaps because of this, we’re getting along quite well. It may be because of the other “one” here. We are united in one purpose, and that conquers all.
TW has not only to contend with the grief of losing our first-born, but also the normal post-pregnancy surges of hormones, as her body adjusts to not carrying a child. At times, her grief overwhelms and the world loses meaning, if only for moments. Ironically, this is her first knowledge of loss. No cousins, no parents, neither friends nor grandparents. None have departed for the great unknown. Her first funeral was her son’s.
Loss is more familiar to me. My father, my friend, my grandfathers and a grandmother. But this is new but nothing, nothing compares. It is said that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger (unless it maims you and cripples you for life, but that’s just my strange sense of humor creeping back) and I believe that all the unfortunate happenings of my childhood have helped me become stronger and more empathetic to the suffering of other.
While I suffer the same loss, hormones rush not through my arteries and veins. I will be there for her in the coming days, and weeks and months and years. I’ll help TW through this as she will help me.
In a conclusion to this family tragedy, for which I’ve had the humbling honor of an audience as I’ve poured out my thoughts and emotions to wonderful people, I would like to share with you my tribute to my son.
TokyoPlayer aka, Ian’s dad.