Yeah, but he’s got, like, twenty-five mintues to get out of the way.
So, I have a question. Is the gun-kata stuff in Equilibrium realistic? I mean, that scene where Preston and Father are doing close quarter hand-to-hand with one hand while simultaneously trying to point their guns at each other and block the other guy’s gun hand, you know that scene? It’s really cool. Can you do that? Do you learn gun-katas in tae kwon do? Is there a school where I go to learn it? I mean, if I can learn to do it really well practicing half an hour every other weekend, I’d be ready to sign up right now. Did you know that Chuck Norris learned tae kwon do while station in Korea, but used it to fight in the PKA? Doesn’t that mean that TKD is really just karate anyway? I mean, those PKA guys wouldn’t let Chuck use tae kwon do in a karate tournament if it wasn’t really karate, would they? Did you know that Linda Park is Korean? I mean the one that plays Hoshi on Enterprise, not the one whose married to the Wally West. He’s the Flash. Actually, he’s Flash III; Jay Garrick was Flash 1; and Barry Allen was Flash 2. Anyway, even though she plays a Japanese woman, Linda Park is Korean. The actress one, not the comic book one. Though come to think of it, the comic book one is Korean, too. Except when she’s posessed by an 800 year old Irish bard, but that’s really getting off the subject. Anyway, do you think Linda Park (the actress) knows tae kwon do? If so, wouldn’t it be cool if she learned it from the same guys who taught Chuck? Nah, ignore that, that’s stupid. Chuck’s at least 30 years older than she is, it’d have to be someone different. Unless some of those guys that he learned with starting teaching when they got older. Anyway, my point is, Linda Park is hot. The actress, I mean. Although come to think of it, with the right artist, say Kolins or Mahn, the comic book Linda Park can be pretty hot, too. But I digress.
So what do you thinK?
Well, EE is the oldskool CS degree, maybe some of those people’s parents had EE degrees and worked in CS type jobs.
2 hours 4 times a week isn’t all that much. I do around 2 and a half total hours’ exercise a day in addition to karate class with a full-time job. But, I still don’t see how that’s possible unless the requirements are lower. I just started karate, ~3 mos. ago, I’m taking my yellow belt test next week. I’ve got to do 45 pushups as part of the test. The only reason I can do it is because I also started bodybuilding an year ago, months before I started karate… when I first started, I couldn’t do more than 1 pushup (had to start on knees). The black belt test requires a lot more than 45 pushups. You just don’t get that kind of strength in 1 year.
Also even with practice there are still a lot of tiny nagging details to remember (wrists straight, feet flat, weight on correct leg, don’t turn too fast, breathe properly, ad nauseum) and you may wind up practicing something completely the wrong way only to have your instructor correct it the next class.
I can see only 2 ways this is possible: (1) There are lower requirements in Japanese dojos, or (2) the guy must have a big brother or something to correct his mistakes during practice.
On second thought, Googling turns up a black belt karate test that requires 30 pushups. Guess my dojo’s just hard-ass.
Must… stop… laughing. Freaking coworkers out.
Cannot. Breathe. Too much laughter.
Hate you. Haaaaate.
Oh it’s a prerequisite allrighty.
Along aparently with being bald (anybody else notice that ? )
But all hilarous sidesplittingly funny joshing aside.
Most MA’s do take it seriously , its a lifestyle changing sorta thang.
Let’s take the example of a bottle of beer signing up for a message board.
Is he gonna call himself like he is (ala Miller) or is he going to go with the generally misinterpreted moniker that panders to the sensationalistic ?
(ala FoamySudsofHeavenlyNectarWhichWillMakeYouSeemWittyAndCharmingToTheOppositeGenderAndExtendYourLifespanAndMakeYouCoolAllOver)
meaning that all who know just what he is really about will also presume it to mean NotEvenUnderRatedPissWasser ?
When I was 13 I took some Tae Kwon Do classes at the YMCA and cam very close to earning a yellow belt. I have also seen several Bruce Lee movies as well as Jackie Chan, Chuck Norris and Steven Seagall. Not only that but a good friend of mine has black belts in several different styles, including Karate, Kung Fu and Jeet Kun Do. I have sparred with this friend and had my ass severely kicked on more than one occasion.
So I think I can call myself an expert on the martial arts but there is one thing I can’t do. I have always wanted to know how to rip somebody’s heart out and show it to them before they die but my friend won’t show me how. He says it’s bullshit but I don’t believe him.
Vould you please explain how to do that?
Oh…and how do you do that thing where you can heal somebody by rubbing your hands together and then grabbing the affected area like Arnold did in the Karate Kid?
Thanks in advance for your answers.
<smug>However skilled the OP might be at martial arts, I’m willing to bet that she still mispronounces “tae kwon do”–I’ve yet to hear any American who hasn’t studied Korean say it correctly.</smug>
And although she is correct about Japanese influences on TKD, the OP would be wise never to say that to any Korean unless he or she is reasonably broadminded.
In addition, I noticed some errors of fact in the second TKD history link, so don’t take that as gospel.
What a strange personality structure some of you have that it BOTHERS you to
a. have someone take an interest in YOUR interests
and
b. have to talk about your life’s ‘great passion’.
I have a lot of hobbies and passions that I pursue with great vigor, and when someone is interested enough to ask me about them, I’m proud to tell them about it, be it iyengar yoga, writing, improvisation or cooking or anything else. Of COURSE the questions get repetitive, but obviously I can’t expect everyone in the world to be on the same level as I, so I answer them…maybe they want to learn a little something about it…maybe they’re interested in making it their own passion.
The OP strikes me as someone who actually LOVES being pestered about her “Real Life Ninja Status” and just wanted to make sure we here on the board knew all about how much she knew.
It’s like in seventh grade when girls would loudly say 'Man…this bra is uncomfortable…" and everyone would turn and look.
Wasn’t Elvis a ‘Blackbelt’?
Personally, I’m not that impressed by people who have earned this or any of the other of these martial arts ‘designations’. It seems like most of them aren’t physically big or strong, so they attempt to overcome the crummy genetic hand they’ve been dealt by taking classes in Karate, Kung Fu, Jui Jitsu, Judo or whatever.
I’d like to know how these people would fare real fight. I bet most of them would get the living crap beat out of them in a real fight with a non-martial artist.
Heya.
Martial Arts do rock. Yes they do.
I’ve been studying Kenpo Karate for about 6/7 years, and I’m 17 now and still loving it! It’s so much fun.
A couple of years ago, I passed my Junior Black belt (being too young to be a senior, even though training in their classes, and being assaulted by the senior black belts ever week). So I was a junior black belt for a couple of years, slowly working my way through the senior syllabus, working towards the senior grades.
Last week I was supposed to ‘help out’ at a grading, which basically meant I was there to fight and be hit a lot. That’s always fun. They worked me too hard though, made me do lots and I knew something was up. I got a big shock at the end of the night when my instructor told me that they’ve made the descision to take me up to senior black belt (plain, no dan grade, too young). This rocks. So I’m now Mr. Harry Smith to the juniors that I co-instruct and get to stand at the front of the class properly. I’m my instructors second 1[sup]st[/sup] generation black belt. I’m sure NinjaChick’ll know what that means.
Martial arts is not too complicated for anyone to understand. It’s astoundingly simple. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t work. Try it, you might like it!
I tend not to tell people, except my close friends that I do karate, and I’ve only told a couple that I’ve made senior black. I find that being a young male in college, if I went around telling everyone loudly that I was a black belt, I’d get challenged a lot by people wanting to ‘test me’. And those that have found out have tried to do so. It sucks in that respect. There are people in my town who would take delight in wanting to drunkenly break a black belt’s legs. And they could.
Karate helps you in some things, but it doesn’t make you into a superhuman immortal self-defence machine unless you train all day every day. If I’m out in town and one of my friends gets into an argument with a cokehead/drunkyard/man with short-guy syndrome, I’ll try and talk the way out of it. Just because I could kick him in the head doesn’t mean he would feel it, and it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t knock me out and steal my wallet. Some people are nasty.
So, er, yeah. Lost my point there. Do martial arts, but never boast about it. Getting beaten up sucks. But try it, it’s fun. Oh yeah.
Yes. I’m reminded of the Seinfeld episode in which Kramer was taking a Karate class with a bunch of children and kicking all their asses. His defense was that they were all at the "same belt level.’
I know enough about MA to know that the significance of belts is vastly overrated and is largely dependent on the individual dojos and instructers who award them.
Fucking ELVIS had a black belt, for cripe’s sake…FAT Elvis. They can’t be that hard to earn.
Well, which was it? FUCKING ELVIS, or FAT ELVIS? 
Heh, heh. Because of time constraints the judo class I was going to was mostly a kids class. Now, the instructors and their children (their kids are 19 & 16) could all kick my butt and there are a few other adults there. Nevertheless, how do I randori with an eight year old girl? I try to watch for good technique and then reward it, since many of them wouldn’t be able to throw me even w/ good technique ('cos I can counter & block) I would basically throw myself down in accordance to the move they used. I may not have scored as many wins as Kramer did; but, I never had to face those “tiny little fists of fury” either.
Yes and no. If the school is part of a larger organization, then they’re bound by those rules. Judo requires you to fight to get rank whereas such and so may not. But I agree that having a black belt doesn’t necessarily mean a lot—even in terms of real skill and not even ability to fight. I’m told that there are many dojos that will award rank without concern for ability; I’ve never actually seen one, nor have I seen evidence other than talk over the internet. But, if you’re picking a fight with a guy who has a black belt, you are increasing the odds of going against someone who has prepared for a full-contact altercation, and that is significant.
I can sympathise w/ the OP, however. I’d like to make Mike Myers pay dearly for ever using the phrase “judo chop.”
Lots of interesting comments flying around here. Trying to keep 'em all in mind, but I may miss a few. . .
Is NinjaChick arrogant and boastful? Sure sounds like it. But then, she’s 17, which gives her something of a pass, and she’s a female competing in a traditionally male and testosterone-soaked discipline. That takes a strong personality, which with age will become quiet self-confidence.
Does rank matter? Nah, not really. As has been pointed out, it all depends on the school and the instructor whether you earn a Black Belt in one year, three, five, ten . . . I practice in a Dojo that’s been open for 12 years without a single Black Sash. Couple of folks are close, but there’s a lot to master.
. . . but that’s not the point. Traditional Martial Artists don’t ask each other what belt they hold, because of the variance in criteria among schools. Instead, they ask two questions. The first is “who is your teacher?” If they know of and respect your teacher they ask “how long have you practiced?” With those two pieces of information, knowledgeable folks will know how “good” you probably are.
(And if they don’t know, or don’t respect, your teacher, then the second question is “and who does your hair?”)
I suspect **NinjaChick ** chose her name 'cause she thinks it sounds cool. And it does. Does it really matter that Ninjitsu isn’t the “same” art as Tae Kwon Do? Again, nah . . . it’s a cool name.
Will Martial Arts make you a superhuman? Once again, nah. . . but it will make you extremely fit physically, give you great balance and body-awareness, improve your flexibility and hand-eye coordination and quicken your reflexes. And if you’re lucky enough to have a teacher who emphasizes the *real * real stuff, you will become a calmer, more peaceful, more centered person than you were when you started. Because whatever the specifics of your art, what they all hold in common is that they’re only 10% physical. All the rest happens upstairs.
My kids practice Kung Fu (they got started because of Power Rangers, so don’t be so quick to dismiss popular culture). They like the spinning and flying techniques, weapons and forms. My wife likes weapons, forms and grappling. Me? I like putting on pads and helmet and getting pounded. And forms; they’re nice too. And weapons - jeez, who wouldn’t like playing with swords and battle-axes?
About the movies - nope, none of it is real. Except for Iron and Silk, which has none of the flash but all of the intensity, dedication and beauty of the art. All the rest are fun - “Flash and Trash”, we call 'em, and we love 'em, because they’re escapist fun. And they draw a lot of people into the Dojo, and some of them stay and get the real benefits from practicing Martial Arts.
(By the way . . . **NinjaChick ** doesn’t practice Kung Fu, but lots of knowledgable people maintain that all Asian martial arts derived from the original martial art, which came from China and that we all know and love as Kung Fu. Heeya!)
A big shout-out to Pretend My Name Is Witty for his achievement, and for his no-bull humorous attitude toward his practice. NinjaChick, good on you for your dedication, not something you see every day in a young lady of your age. Just try to cut people some slack now and then – most of 'em are genuinely interested, just woefully mis-informed.
I once had a class in hand to hand combat in the Military. The instructor asked if anyone claimed to be a Black belt in any MA. Two guys raised their hands. The instructor stated that he had never had any formal training, then ordered them to both attack him simultaneously. Result, after all of about three seconds, one smirking instructor and two unconscious Black belts.
I don’t even drink beer. Can’t stand the stuff. And thus we see the foolishness of assuming too much about a poster based on his or her screenname.
If you ain’t drunk, how do you explain the fact that you completely missed APOC’s point?
Whoosh…
It depends on what they learn in their classes. The thing is, martial arts aren’t well regulated. I could open Sturmhauke Academy of Asswhupping, declare myself a 20th level master of Asswhup Fu, and charge people $100 a class to learn the secret mysteries, handed down for countless generations. So what if I don’t actually know much about fighting, I can still open a school if I want.
That being said, there are schools out there that include sparring against people of different size and skill, improvised weapons, “dirty tricks” (which may be illegal in a competition but street thugs will use), dealing with multiple attackers, and other things you would find in an actual violent encounter. I would bet on a dedicated student of one of these schools against a random tough guy any day. The best way to see what a school has to offer is to observe a class in action and ask questions. If they won’t let you watch, or if they try to charge you or feed you some line about how they have a lineage of invincible warriors, walk away.
If people are showing genuine interest in you and your hobbies and are just asking stupid questions out of ignorance, then feel free to lighten up. However, what I’m getting from your post is it’s more like the Annoying Amateur Comedian Syndrome, where your hobby triggers the same crappy comedy routine from every would-be funny-guy on the planet.
I’ve put up with my fair share of AACS. I write property tax software for a living, which always brings out the same lame jokes. This led me to do a bit of preparation for a fun opportunity – when some jackass finds out that I write tax software for a living and launches into the comedy routine, I laugh along and answer the lame questions. Then, when he’s done, I reach into my wallet and pull out the following piece of paper, make a few marks on it, and hand it to him:
Basic Jokes (1 pt each):
[ ] So I guess you like, won't pay taxes again
for the rest of your life!
[ ] Dude, could you write in there IF NAME =
<my name> THEN TAXES = 0? That would be
awesome!
[ ] So, do you, like, have the computer put
fractions of pennies into your bank account
like Office Space/Superman III?
[ ] SHALL.WE.PLAY.A.GAME?
Advanced Jokes (2 pts each - it takes an advanced
comedic mind to stretch "Property Tax Software" to
jokes such as these):
[ ] So do you, like, have the password to Fort Knox?
[ ] Dude, you should just program the computers to
launch nukes at Osama Bin Laden.
How Did I Do
0-2: Hello? Did you hear me? I said I write property
tax software -- let the good times roll.
3-6: A solid effort.
7-8: Congratulations, you're a fucking comedian.
The results are priceless, and well worth the preparation. Be aware, though, that you won’t make many friends doing this - do it sparingly.