Tim, I’m sorry but I can no longer open any more of your threads. This is truly sick, and I cannot risk clicking on another vague-sounding title to find this waiting underneath.
For what it’s worth, I think you’re a great guy. But I can’t read your threads anymore.
It’s a responsibility thing, don’t you agree? I mean, as we age our life seems to attract more and more responsibility in so many areas. Most of these we take on, if not willingly, at least with an understanding of the need for them. Earning money, living independently, caring for ourselves and our dependents. And making sure we leave nothing unsightly for others.
It’s a clear failure of our society to teach, to ingrain in those impressionable little minds the importance–no, the manditory responsibility of completely dispatching our waste to its end. Floating there in the bowl, proud symbol of some uncaring creton’s shirking of responsibility–is this now my responsibility? And what of my fecal by-products? Are they no longer my responsibility? I hardly think that can be true.
But our figurative hands are tied. We can no more go about inquiring as to ownership than we can ignore them. Flush. Flush. Flush. And pray.
That was deep, struuter, and therefore completely innapropriate for this thread. 
Usually, when someone tells me I’m deep they mean knee-deep. So in that context I guess it would be perfect for the subject of this thread. 
And that’s why my eyes are brown…yeah, I’ve heard that too…everybody’s a comedian.
I saw the funniest thing in the science museum in London.
It was this toilet that had been cut in half, and was fully working, and you could see what was going on inside. When you flushed it, a hard plastic model turd went through the pipe and down into a sort of holding ‘cup’. A few seconds later, this cup lifts up on a motorised arm and drops the turd back into the toilet bowl.
corn.
Well I was eating until I opened this thread.
Cnote, Ecks… while you are definitely amusing the masses of teeming millions, you may be wasting those amazing literary talents. Perhaps, at least, cnosider a more worthy subject matter?
It’s funny, though.
Tsk, tsk, Silo. Have you not yet learned not to eat or drink while reading MPSIMS? It’s hazardous to both your health and the health of your keyboard.
This was in my downstairs bathroom at home, to allay any fears about public restroom phobias. Sadly, this brings even more questions to mind. Why? Dear God, why?
–Tim
Lately I’ve been really proud of my turds. They’re HUGE!! I’m talking 13+ inches. When I’m done it’s so long it curls, with half of it exposed in the bowl and the other half down the abyssal hole. And it doesn’t hurt that much either. I’ve been tempted to just leave it there so someone can see what I’ve made. But then I get scared that my annonymity would be lost if someone saw me coming out of the stall. So I flush. But now that I’ve read this post, I think next time I may just bite the bullet and leave it.
Don’t you know? It’s all in the diameter, my boy!
–Tim
GHOAST POO!
I remember my Dad calling the whole family into the bathroom one night to look at something. He had a long thinish turd in the shape of an ‘S’ floating in the toilet. ‘S’ is the first letter of my last name and he had dreams of spelling out the rest. It never happened, but it’s good to have goals.
Aglarond, just a hint: If you get a date from this singles service, don’t tell that anecdote.
dragonlady said:
No doubt…but not nearly as much as Homer.
magdalene said:
Thank you–I ain’t gonna sing about his tail.
KimKatt said:
I have done so, but you gotta take your inspiration where you find it–the little ditty popped into my mind almost fully-formed while I was reading the OP. (We won’t discuss what this implies about my mind.)
Boy…is this a crappy thread, or what?
It’s only a turd!
You do one or two of them each day don’t you?
Yeah but it was weird because I think it winked at me.
–Tim
In California long dry spells are common because–well, we just don’t get that much rain! And on occasion the supply of water has been threatened is such a heavily populated, industrialized state.
I once saw bumper stickers reading:
In this land of drought and sun/We always flush for Number One. 
Rilch, you don’t think that’s a good anecdote for breaking the ice? Maybe that’s why I haven’t had a date in a while.