Maybe. The point is multiple exes. So yeah, if she says all her boyfriends are raging abusers, she might be crazy too.
One psycho ex (girl or boy), ok. Multiple ones: red flag.
One thing I loved about my (now) husband was that he never trashed his ex-wife. He could talk about how they grew apart and what he didn’t like about their marriage, but he didn’t trash her.
If your mother had written this stuff down and given it to you, would you have read it and thought “Wow! Mom’s saving me from a lot of heart ache!”, or would you have thought “Pffft. I know what I’m doing!”?
I don’t have a daughter, I do have sons, and am one. These rules don’t have to be gender specific. Except the last one. If there’s no prostate involved, that’s a girl that guys would at least like to date.
Most guys have at least one. But ‘wary’ is probably a good way to approach someone with multiple crazy exes.
There are a lot of reasons for crying that can occur in relationships. Intentional abuse and other specific causes for crying would be a better way to put it. Some people (not just the women) get emotional about things that aren’t deal breakers.
Very important.
It’s not a reliable indicator. Pay attention to the way pets are treated.
Are you saying people should be wary of folks like you? 
Handy tip: if he gives them his phone number while you’re in the ladies room, that’s a danger sign.
She is telling us and current/future daughters as a warning. That’s ok.
Talking about multiple crazy ex-es to current, future crazy ex is a red flag.
But let me guess you want a confident man right ? So the guy with shifty gaze who can’t maintain eye contact is your ideal man ? And what’s predatory eye contact anyways, we talking great white shark eye contact where an internal eyelid rolls over our eye balls ?
.
I’m going to stick with trying to encourage good judgement in my sons and daughter, rather than give them a mental cyclorama of my sexual history.
Don’t commit until you’re 25.
If the relationship can’t be public, you shouldn’t be in it.
Pay attention to what he does, not what he says.
If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.
Strike a nerve or something? Many women can tell the difference between someone who is comfortable in their own skin and likes women, and someone who sees himself as a smooth hustler – yes, on the hunt – out for his own good time. Some can’t . . . and some men don’t know there is any difference.
I know a number of guys that are OK as friends, but not as boyfriends/lovers/potential or real spouses.
*the guy who is not to my physical taste [nothing against him, just not into the big burly wrestler/football player type. Lovely guy, fun as hell to hang out with, sweet disposition - I just really do not get turned on by a 6’6" 280 pound athletic guy. I feel like he would crush me or something. I am more into 6’, maybe 6’2 tops. mrAru is 5’8".
*the guy who is very christian - again, sweet guy. Nice, good looking if you like the blond midwest corn fed beef type. However, I do not want a relationship with a guy who is into praying frequently. I am an agnostic, born baptist but not born again as my mum did it right the first time. But he is a blast to hang out with, plays a mean game of pool and loves to sail and swim. He and I caught my first tuna on a head boat out of Norfolk VA.
*Electronics geek, used to work at Harris RF in Rochester. Nice guy, wanted to get married and pop out a half dozen good little catholics. Into sf and fantasy, loves to read. I am not catholic and would not be a good fit, but he was fun to date and as a friend with benefits.
So yes, you can know guys that are great as friends, even great to date but not to marry/have a permanent relationship with.
‘Don’t date guys you wouldn’t be friends with’ does not mean ‘don’t be friends with guys you wouldn’t date.’
That is, “All good boyfriends are good friends” doesn’t mean “All good friends are good boyfriends” any more than “All dogs are animals” means “All animals are dogs”.
If everyone tells you your boyfriend is a jerk, he’s a jerk. He’s not insecure or misunderstood. He’s a jerk.
I suspect it’s because, typically, a woman only has they guy’s testimony that all those exes were “psycho.”
If every relationship that an individual enters into features one “psycho,” Occam’s Razor would tend to suggest who the psycho is.
Love it all!
To answer one point made a few times in this thread: yeah, it is totally hypocritical of me to say “be wary of dudes with numerous psycho ex-girlfriend stories” while I seemingly have a history of completely ill relationships myself. The important word is “seemingly”, as I did not exactly lay out my whole relationship history from loss of virginity at 18 to present day.
Besides, I could launch into the explanation of childhood experiences that shaped my crippling lack of self-esteem, which combined with a regretfully difficult relationship with my father and a familial history of alcoholism might explain a bit about my choices… BUT… you don’t need to hear all that for the purposes of this thread, which I intended to be light and filled with humorous anecdotes.
Also, when I refer to myself as a promiscuous slut, it is totally tongue-in-cheek. That sort of thing is very, very subjective. Compared to my bestie, who married the first and only guy she’s ever had sex with, I am a total slut. Compared to the girlfriend who had an abortion at 16, I’m a bit of a prude.
…as for that prostate stimulation thing, I will tell you I’ve been with a couple dudes who were into it. One was a confident heterosexual man who requested the ass play. Another just… uh… presented. I’ve demonstrated the pose for a few gay friends and they unanimously agree it was “totally gay”.
I find this variety of experience really interesting. I am a 55-year-old man, 19 years into my second marriage, and since I was 18 I’ve had five other relationships that lasted over a year, plus dated maybe two or three dozen women. And I’ve never once dated an alcoholic, anti-social, schizophrenic, addict, sociopath, arrogant academic, or closet homosexual. (I’m still not sure why artists and musicians merit special mention.) My life seems boring and stead in comparison.
Not that your advice is bad, but how in the world did you gravitate to all these guys in the first place?
I spent my twenties dating flat out crazy women, thought I had a sign on my forehead the said get crazy here, yep it was me just had to grow up. Funny thing about that, I was dating this woman a few years ago and I realized that whenever she talked about an ex, it was how mean/evil/crazy/selfish etc they were, I clearly understood that was going to be said about me
“hey honey going out for a pack of smokes, be back in 15” not exactly but you get the point
CAPT
I drank a lot.
No, that was a joke. Mostly.
Another type of person with psycho exes is the kind of person who feels the need to “fix” damaged souls. It rarely works. Often they may get into these relationships unwittingly. It just happens; they are like chum in the water for crazies.
Never? If it’s a constant thing sure, but a relationship without any fights is rare.
Do you want to come up and see my etchings? And my prized fighting cocks?
I think it’s someone on the Dope who came up with the idea that heaven/hell is a big house full of everyone you’ve ever slept with. I think that’s a good way to approach it- would your heaven be a big house party of interesting people? An intimate gathering of close friends? Or a whole bunch of crazy people who are pissed off at you?
I think I’d teach my daughter not to base her self-respect on what goes in her vagina.