I just saw the Space Station fly by! It was really cool! Cold, in fact! That sucker was really moving across the sky!
How cool, FCM. How do you know it was the space station?
Sorry you’ve had such a sucky yearSpaz.
Yay for carseats!
I’ve successfully sent packages and now just need to write some Christmas cards and put together little prezzies for staff. Should be able to do this fairly quickly.
So, it’s another drive-by. Back once I’ve accomplished something…
GT
**FCD ** heard on the radio when and from what direction it was to pass. So a few minutes before the time, he went out, and he saw it in the northwest. That’s when he called me.
It was a very, very brightly lit object moving quite fast across the sky. No way it could have been an airplane. I s’pose it coulda been aliens, but it’d be pretty coincidental that they’d pass at that exact moment… 
drive-by…
herbs, I don’t really have a ‘traditional’ pecan pie recipe. The one that I normally do is a Chocolate Pecan Pie. I’ll drag out the recipe tomorrow. Now that I’m thinking about it, we do make pecan bars once in awhile. Hmmm…
Ok, off to bed early tonight.
Mr. Lissar is behind me, injuring himself on the carseat, and trying to figure out howinhell in goes together… hey! He’s found the manual! We’re saved!
Mr. Lissar: Thanks, darling, for making fun of me to your internet friends.
Hey guys, I’m having a minor meltdown. I just tried to call my mom and ended up leaving short “I love you” messages on both her home and cell phone. I am also not correctly medicated, for purely the fact that I have no medical insurance and the anti-deppresant which works costs $90.00 per month, and the one that restrains the worst but really doesn’t keep me on an even keel is (at Wal-Mart) $8.00 per month. It’s December, dark and cold. I woke to snow but it’s all turned to rain, and the house is gloomy as hell. My family, meaning my mom, (step)dad, both brothers and my grandmother are not doing well in both health (all of them) and situations (my brothers). I won’t be seeing my two grown daughters or my granddaughter for Christmas, and I really can’t wait for the 26th so that 1) Christmas will be over and 2) I have an appointment with my head doctor. I have a feeling this is gonna be another time when I sit and cry stupidly for him. I hate doing that, and rarely do, but I did last time I saw him as well. Maybe he will put me in that special room at the hospital, I worry about that, and just how honest I can be with him. (Oh, helluva long story with me and the mental health facility here.) I have been crying off and on for days, with the right med I don’t leak so much at the eyes. Skiffman is not being supportive at all, in fact he isn’t even home, he is out picking the dungie pots and putting the gear away with his skipper, I don’t know when he will be back, weather permitting it will be before Christmas.
There is more, but I will keep it to myself. The saying “That which does not kill you makes you stronger” is so old, I don’t want to be any stronger, it’s been a hard life so far and I am tired of fighting to keep on the sunny side. I am old, it’s gonna be a small Christmas, and now you know why I often take breaks in posting. I apologize for being so gloomy, but some of you have offered shoulders for the sucky times, and if this doesn’t qualify I don’t know when would.
I do wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and if it’s not your holiday I wish you the peace and joy that the season is meant to bring.
Oh, kai, I’m so sorry to read that things aren’t going well. Is there something you can do to keep you distracted (a craft, some reading, a video game, music?) or is that a bad idea? Hugs from afar.
GT
kai, sweetie, I have nothing to offer but a long-distance hug. Hang in there, dump all you want here, and, I dunno, know that we all really do care.
{{{{kai}}}}
Thanks gt and FCM, I am hanging out with the kids and listening to music, trying to keep myself distracted. I did a lot of beading yesterday, and maybe tomorrow I will bake with the kids. I just, well, the facts are that I moved 1,500 miles away from my family in order to get away from them, and almost nineteen years later fences have been mended and I want to be with them so badly. Grandma, well, she’s gettin on in years and recently broke a hip, so who knows if I’ll see her again this side of Jordan. Dad’s prostate cancer is growing slowly, I guess the slowly part is supposed to be reassuring, but it isn’t. Mom is officially on the liver transplant list and I am scared. Either on or off of it, it’s not good. One brother is in rehab for alcohol and drugs (again), the other is back doing time in federal detention, he has throat cancer but because he has only a year to serve they are not going to give him any medical treatment. Oh, they’ll give him morphine though, so he is sure to come out of prison with the same damn monkey he has on his back.
And it’s the damn weather. I can handle the cold, it’s the dark that gets to me. If I lived on the mainland the weather would be different, colder and still darker, but it wouldn’t be the maritime crap we get here. Give me -10 F. and hip deep snow and I would be happy. Or happier. I think.
Thanks for just being my friends, it’s really all I need today.
I think it’s probably best for a lot of us here to just take it one day at a time–and even one hour, if need be. I know I have mixed feelings about the holidays now, and have been feeling blue myself–not the same as crippling depression by any means, but sometimes the holidays just exacerbate these things. I just want tomorrow over with. I’m working with a crew I don’t particularly like tomorrow (ok, one woman) and she is not only bossy, but constantly naggy. It’s like having someone back seat drive you all day. Most irritating. Too old for that stuff.
kai–I just thought of something. They have these new fluorescent lightbulbs that mimic daylight. We use one in the basement, and it makes a world of difference for the gloom. They are expensive, but they last forever (or near enough). Why not buy one (then it wouldn’t be so expensive) and put it somewhere, so that you can get a bit of sunlight?
Got my 12 pics picked out for the calendar (finally), just now need to do the flickr thing and send off the order. As long as it’s here by NY, I’m ok.
I cannot stand the new size font on my computer. I will have to play around with it this weekend–add THAT to the list. Crap.
Off to bed soon. Hope this time I sleep. Good night to all, and to all a good night. Or something like that.
I had some nice alone time tonight - bought some used books, went to go see a movie, had dinner and dessert at a restaurant. A friend wants to go see Sweeny Todd at midnight, so I guess I’ll be doing that too. But I need to stop eating so much. I’ll be a shapeless blob come springtime at this rate.
I think I’ll be spending Christmas at my brother’s church. I might have Christmas Eve dinner with That Guy and his brother, depending on my mood. We haven’t really had a chance to hang out for the past week or so. Probably a good thing.
snowbunny, the pics are lovely. I like snow when it’s soft and falls slowly. And I’m inside. The snow around here has been falling violently and with a vengeance. And I have to walk around in it. Ew.
Why am I not done with cards and presents for work?
More hugs for kai. I was wondering about those lights too… Come back and vent all you need.
ETA: Hey Haze…do you want to do next Monday???
GT
I have returned from the maul. The kids were successful in acquiring presents for each other and for myself and Mr. Taters.
I was not successful in acquiring my present to Mr. Taters. I went to four different stores; two didn’t carry what I was looking for, and two were out. So, tomorrow, I’ll have to drive back to Tacoma to see if I can find it there.
I have a raging headache. I am hoping to hell the Tylenol kicks in soon. I did it to myself; I didn’t eat or drink anything all day. Due to pure laziness, I stopped at McDonalds on the way so we could all have some sort of dinner. This probably didn’t help me any.
kai, I’m so sorry to read that you’re feeling blue. Hang in there; we all have wide shoulders if you need to vent.
Frankly, I don’t really get into the holidays so much either. I just can’t seem to work up any enthusiasm for it. Count me as one of those who can’t wait until the holidays are over.
I’m looking forward to the day when I can just have a nice, quiet holiday with just myself, husband, and kids. Of course, by the time that day rolls around, my kids will be grown, and probably off with families of their own. In that case, I truly wouldn’t mind if it was just me and my husband having a nice, quiet, candlelit celebration. Maybe that’s my whole issue with the holidays. They’re always, always, always these big family get togethers. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just one night, but it’s ALWAYS, always, always, both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Bleh, sorry about that. I know that there are many people who wish they could get together with all of their family. I guess I’m just an old hermit at heart.
Haze, Mr. Taters wants to see Sweeney Todd. Please do report back and give me your take on it. I just told him you were going to see it and he also asked that you give us a review.
Well, off to check e-mail and the like.
{{{{**kai[/b}}}}
{{{{{{Kai}}}}}}
You know, I’ve been feeling down myself, which is why I haven’t been posting much. Especially because I haven’t been in the holiday mood and can’t wait for them to be over. I wasn’t even going to get a Christmas tree this year, but the husband insisted on it and we went out and got a gorky looking one last night. I will admit the house smells good, but I really don’t feel like decorating it. I just want them to be over…
:: hugs for kai ::
It’s weird how holidays can get you down when they’re supposed to be about fun and cheer and all that crap. Well, maybe it’s not that weird. I’ve never felt as ambivalent about Christmas as I do this year though.
Taters, I promise I will report back. 
gt, if no one else wants it, I’d be happy to do the next MMP.
{{{{{kai}}}}}
I’m a bit ambivalent about this time of year after having two major breakups happen during it, including one a year ago. But so far this year’s looking pretty good in most ways. Taters, one of the nicer Thanksgivings I’ve had was completely by myself. I understand not wanting huge family get-togethers all the time. My family’s scattered enough that it’s something different every year, it seems.
I just wish it had kept snowing the way it was right when I left home for longer; it was just lovely. I’ve seen snow rarely enough that somehow I always forget that when it’s falling but it’s not a blizzard, it tickles!
Hi kai!! ~waving to kai~ doing a Roo :bounce:
Sorry you’re not feeling better. I’m sending a hug through the screen. I hope you get it.
I’ve only visited Alaska once in the middle of summer and there was 20 hours of day. I can’t imagine what it’s like when there’s 20 hours of night. I’m sitting under one of those full-spectrum lights that Rigs mentioned. Maybe that would help you too.
I hope you feel better soon. {{{kai}}}
Ooooh. So that’s your technique. . . . you whip it out so infrequently that people are shocked and don’t know how to respond when you do. I don’t know. . . that doesn’t seem like my style. But I’ll keep it in mind for future reference.
And that wasn’t me leaking (I hope). . . it was. . . well, nevermind, he’s gone now. 
{{{kai}}} I hope things get better soon. I know that’s not a whole lot to say there, but right now it’s all I can think of.
I can’t sleep. It’s raining out and I should be sound asleep but it woke me up. Now, I’m sleepy buy not sleepy enough to go to sleep, if that makes sense.
Ok, maybe I’ll go snoop around the Dope a bit and get sleepy.
Later Y’all!
Wow! I was gonna say **Swampy ** never posts this late. I think your body clock is all out of whack what with the traveling, the weird shifts you used to have, and then trying to get back to a normal sleep pattern. Your body is just all confuzled.
I’m somewhat tired, but not tired enough to sleep either. Which really sucks, because I have to get and work tomorrow. Oooh! I need to wrap my white elephant gift. I forgot about that!
My Dad just left. He brought our Christmas prezzies over, and I gave him the present for him and my step-mother. I hope they enjoy it.
They leave early Saturday to head to Portland. They’re going to spend Christmas with my step-mother’s niece and her two kids. If I would have been smart, I would have just had them all come here. Oh well, maybe next time.
Maybe I’ll watch some bad TV. That usually puts me to sleep.