A Final Farewell to my Best Friend

Alas this is it… tonight is my last night of carnal pleasure for a six weeks. All for the god-damn ‘anticipation’ of my wedding night. He better be damn good that night too!!! I am already imbittered about this whole abstinance thang! At least I weedled him down to 3 weeks of self love and then 3 weeks of nuthin’. It is just me and my showermassage for the next few weeks.

SO THIS IS MY FAREWELL TO THE BEST FRIEND IVE EVER HAD. LIL’ CHRIS WAS GOOD TO ME, ALWAYS CARING, DILIGENT, UNENDINGLY SELFLESS. THIS DRINK IS TO YOU

::pats tubagirl on back::

There, there…this too shall pass. Delayed gratification and exquisite emotional and physical anticipation may reap rich rewards.

Oh, hell. Here’s a drink. And some ice cream. And some nachos. We’re here for you…

Veb

Ah, there there, tubagirl. As the saying goes, “it is better to have laid and lost than never to have laid at all.” Though what I know about the subject . . . ain’t much, as I’ve never had the chance to lose a laying.

What exactly are you giving up? I know no sex, but what else?

Take it from a guy that has never had sex.

Six weeks is nothing. Anyone can survive six weeks. Millions do, in frequently occurring bursts.

You’ve never had sex, then you have no idea what your missing. it is something you get addicted to over time. Especially when it is good :wink:

Of course if you want to take up where my honey is going to slack off… I’ve never been to australia…:wink:

Damn right, Guano. Well, sorta.

Sex is great, but is a a fine meal, great converstion with friends, rest after hard work, pouring rain or a spectacular sunset, a book that shakes soul/mind, or just a stupid, pointless moment of grace out of the blue.

Abstinence is as soul killing as excess, IMO. (Ain’t nuthin’ humble about it.) A cogent case can be made for respectful, thoughtful embracing of Life. It’s a process, and we’re all gonna make mistakes along the way.

But as long as the mistakes are ones of the heart, and aren’t niggardly rejections or greedy demands, things will work out for the most part.

Somebody shoot me now for being a pompous idiot.

Veb

Three weeks? Three stinkin’ weeks!?

You gotta be shittin’ me, tubagirl…

Excuse me, but I thought “bad sex” was an oxymoron? I guess I’ve been doing something right and didn’t know it. :cool:

~~Baloo

tubagirl, I know I ain’t in yo’ position, but . . .

  1. Last time I kissed a female who was not immediately related to me was four years ago. I’ve lasted this long.

  2. Three weeks without sex. There’s gotta be some adult shop nearby.

  3. Think of it as a sacrifice for your marriage/husband. If that don’t do it for you . . .

And there are always the kinky boards on the SDMB.

:slight_smile:

Is that sarcasm Chief?

Keyriced… (note ingenious spelling so as not to arouse anyone’s ire) I’ve been married for two years, and I’ve been celibate for six months or so. Any good-looking men in Minneapolis?

Robin

She did mention the fact that this was two sets of three weeks: one can include masturbation, the last three weeks are void of all masturbation. Oh well, at least you have something to look forward to. Now imagine how much it would suck if you were marrying someone who couldn’t please you sexually and asked this of you. It shouldn’t seem so horrible what you’re in. I mean, it’s not that bad of a deal. He just wants to make sure you appreciate him[which of course you do].

Yes. There are five reasons why you’ve gotta be shittin’ me:

This post comes from a Sailor(1) in the Persian Gulf(2) on a six-month deployment(3) after having broken an extended relationship(4) with no prospects upon my return home(5).

Three weeks, love, ain’t shit.

Congrats on marriage though! You’ll be making up for lost schlong in no time!

And this post comes from a 1) virgin with 2) no SO, currently 3) posting to a message board instead of looking for a SO, who has 4) more online female friends than f2f friends.

The last female I saw unrelated to me was last Thursday. In class.

tuba, at least you’ve gotten some. I have yet to know what “some” is.

Take up riding a motorcycle. Across cobblestones. It’s not EXACTLY cheating…

Amy’s got an ugly one for sale…