A friend died yesterday...

An old friend from my stint in Jacksonville died last night in a car accident. His room mate called me, and she was crying and shaking. I don’t even know how she got my new number, as I have moved several times since that time.

I am kind of numb right now.


I’m sorry Oicu812. I know that losing an old friend can be rough, even one you haven’t seen in a while.

I know that nothing I write here will really change matters at all, but I just wanted you to know that I (am I’m sure all my fellow Dopers as well) are here for you to offer our condolences in your hour of grief.

Zev Steinhardt

Steve was my best friend for several years, always hanging around together, playing pool almost on a daily basis. We were what you would call inseperable. But then he got involved with his future wife, and we drifted apart. My career took me to many different cities after that, and we gradually lost touch with each other. I regret now that I had not been more diligent in staying in communication. Now it is too late. His roomie is supposed to call me tonight and let me know the arrangements. He always said that he wanted to be cremated, as he did not believe in cemetaries and such, and his ashes scattered into the ocean. I HOPE that they respect him in this.


I’m so sorry.

If i saw you in person I wouldn’t say anything, I’d just give you a hug.

I am so sorry Oicu812. I am sending prayers and comforting thoughts your way…I know nothing will help much at this point, and I wish I could do more. Sending hugs, too, and I hope you are getting lots of them IRL.



I know what you are going through. A good friend of mine from high school committed suicide a couple weeks ago. The hardest part was that I didn’t know how to grieve because I hadn’t seen him in awhile and he wasn’t a part of my life. He was a void in my life when he was alive, so it was hard to come to terms with him being a void in my life because he was dead. Do you know what I mean?

Thank you, Scotticher and SINsAPPLE.

The room mate called again last night, and said that they were holding a memorial service Saturday morning. Me, several other friends and his ex-wife were requested to attend, as she followed his personal wishes for cremation. There will be a seaside ceremony, at the conclusion of which the ashes will be scattered to the deeps.


and ////SINsAPPLE\\.

I’m very sorry for your losses.

Oicu812, I’m so sorry. That has to be a painful loss. Don’t think less of yourself for not staying in touch better. Your friend was equally responsible for the friendship and you both obviously just had a lot going on in your lives. I’m sure he knew you still cared. I’m sure he still cared for you, as expressed by the request for your presence at the ceremony.

I send you and SINsApple hugs, and we will be thinking of you Saturday when we are all together, and wishing you were with us.