You’ve never been held against your will (complete with “suicide watch”) have you?
Getting officialdom involved gets a case worker (who has too many cases already). Say the magic word in front of that person, and you get held 72 hours (CA), followed by a competency/habeus corpus hearing. After 3 days in a hospital, one does not usually look ones best, and it is the “Professionals” v “the nut case”.
Good luck with that.
Don’t give advice unless you have either professional and/or personal experience to back it up.
Calling the cops (911, no less :rolleyes: ) on the basis of how some guy on the internet interpreted what you said (which is an interpretation of what the person said) is a massive intrusion of privacy.
Actually, the mention of Xanax would more likely suggest a nice, long, vacation much more that suicide. If she works around end-of-like she knows a dozen more effective drugs that are just as easy to get.
No, I’, not listing them - there are a multitude of resources - both for deliberate induction of death and the avoidance thereof - digging through the mess can be time consuming.
My first thought from reading the OP is the same as Joey P’s. Maybe there was more apparent in person, but from the description, it sounds like someone wanting to lay down and avoid for a few.
My thought exactly. And also agree that Xanax would be an unlikely suicide method choice for a nurse. And yes, if she’s doing home health, she has (illegal) “access” to both Xanax and more likely methods. People leave their pill bottles laying out in the open, and we have large pockets on our scrubs.
On the other hand, my experience leads me to think it’s actually most likely for acquaintances, rather than true friends or total strangers, to confide suicidal impulses to me. Telling a total stranger you’re planning to kill yourself is pretty odd. Telling a true friend is very threatening (they’re likely to freak out, try to stop you, make you engage in all the difficult talking stuff…ugh…too much work when you’re suicidal.) Telling an acquaintance gets it off your chest and out of your head, at least for a moment, without the drama and sudden intervention.
But bottom line is, you just really don’t know. She could have been fantasizing out loud about something she’d never do, or she could have been talking about chilling out, or she could have killed herself last night and you’ll find out Monday. And you’re not in a relationship where you have a whole lot of freedom to make decisions on her behalf. Be there if she wants to talk, do give her the hotline number and tell her you’re concerned about her, and maybe see if she wants to go to dinner or learn how to make bread or frost a cake, if you’re willing to take this to the level of friendship. Sounds like another stress relieving outlet wouldn’t be a bad idea for her.
But one tip: never, EVER tell someone “Oh, you don’t mean that.” It’s rude, it’s patronizing, it’s judgemental and when you may be dealing with a person who is despairing and mentally unstable, it can do quite a bit of damage. “Do you really mean that or is this venting?” is appropriate. Telling other people what they’re feeling is not.
OK, to clear things up again, I should be seeing this person I call a friend, tomorrow evening, Monday, at class. She definitely meant dying, not sleeping, because when I said, “You don’t mean that” and “What about *****?”(her granddaughter) she said “yes I do” to the first and “I’ve just had too much loss in my life” to the second.
At this point I won’t call 911 but I will give her those phone numbers, and tell her directly how I was worried, asking her to call.
I’ll also ask those posting here, “please, can’t we all get along?” I know you all mean well, even if you are disagreeing.
Call the suicude helpline yourself. Don’t talk to us, but DO talk to someone who is trained and can help you navigate this appropriatly. The helpline isn’t just for people who are feeling suicidal, call and get proper advice. Do this before you see your friend again tomorrow. Threats of suicide should be taken very seriously, but if you aren’t careful your attempts to help can actually make things works.
Get better advice than the internet can give you. Call the helpline.
I think the idea to call the suicide line yourself is a good one, tell them exactly what she said, so theu understand what you told us here, that she indeed is planning to take an overdose to end her life.They are trained in that, and can hopefully tell you what they think you can do based on the risk to her life.
Good plan - as long as you don’t ID her, If they demand ID, they do not have the patient’s interest first - they have their own agenda. I suspect some of these groups are the like the places which advertise “thinking about ABORTION/ 'confused, don’t know where to turn?” “NO PARENTAL NOTIFICATION!” “Call us about ABORTION!” - which are anti-choice groups masquerading as clinics - and like those fake clinics, there fake counselors are the worst possible people those in fragile conditions need to see. (Your god wants me to stick around? fine! Let your god try dealing with what I’m dealing with, and I’ll go play god for a while and pass out horseshit advice - sounds great!)
Find another group.
Repeat as necessary.
When you find one you can trust, Then mention giving her a number - if she is looking for help, mentioning you’ll get her a number and then not doing so is the worst thing you could do.
I was just thinking about how I (I can be quite pushy) would have responded the SECOND go 'round (you never think of the good one until it’s too late) “Xanax? What does Xanax do for you?” That would have (maybe) answered the Q as to intent.
Usedtobe, What on earth are you talking about? Abortion, God, wth? I know you said you have experience with psychiatric comitmals, and I have not engaged with all your rants above. But.now your going off on some confusing tangent.jimping from suicide lines to abortion and god. Your posts are very hard to decipher.
That’s not the point. The point is she has a person in her life who is in a bad enough place that they are considering suicide. Even if the plan right now is a bad one, that doesn’t mean that her friend won’t come up with a better one. Even if all they are looking for with this particular plan is to have someone reach out and help them and they aren’t actually considering following through now, doesn’t mean that they won’t later if no one steps up.
This is one of those times when you just pay attention to the call for help and get help.
That there are anti-suicide types masquerading as suicide help lines, just as there are anti-abortion organizations which present themselves as abortion providers?
I could speak slower, if that would help.
Point is: before handing out a number, make sure what service is being provided/compelled by that number. Not all are what they seem.
Unless I capitalize “god” I am not referring to any entity I believe exists. For a fragile person (who may or may not be a Deist) to be told “God Wants You To Live!” is truly obscene - such places should be shut down.
The number posted in this thread is for the national suicide prevention helpline. It’s very legit.
Yes, I am of the mindset that no otherwise healthy person should die at their own hand because they feel like they are out of options. If you feel otherwise I don’t think we will have much more to say to each other. Baker felt like it was a suicide threat, not a party plan. Baker was there, you weren’t. Baker should be given the tools to cope with that information. I am not suggesting she do anything other than talk to someone who she knows actually know what they are talking about rather than random internet folk.
Maybe you are an expert in the field, I am not, but maybe you are. She has no way of knowing that. She doesn’t know you. She should talk to someone she can trust is well trained to handle things.
NAF1138, your right, the OP made it clear she was referring to taking her life, not partying, as usedtobe keeps implying. The advice to.call the suicide hotline is a good one,they are trained to assess risk.
My classmate friend did not come to class last night. I took the opportunity to speak privately to the instructor, and gave him a copy of the hotline number. He told me he knew she had been having “problems” but was unaware she’d mentioned suicide. So we both will be looking out for her. He does have her phone number, so if we get too worried a call to her can be made. We are typically at the dojo at least three times a week, so if she doesn’t show up for, say, a week or more, we’ll check.
Colander, as I recall, he does not believe suicide prevention lines should be against suicide. Go figure…thats like a cardiologist not being “against heart disease”
And you’re not in a relationship where you have a whole lot of freedom to make decisions on her behalf. Be there if she wants to talk, do give her the hotline number and tell her you’re concerned about her, and maybe see if she wants to go to dinner or learn how to make bread or frost a cake, if you’re willing to take this to the level of friendship. Sounds like another stress relieving outlet wouldn’t be a bad idea for her.