Several months ago I made the acquaintance of a young woman in one of my classes. We shared a desire to not fail a traditionally difficult class, so began studying together. We Facebooked each other to facilitate scheduling study times and class group discussions. She’s very quiet and while quite open about her past, there was obviously something dark back there and I made a point of not asking any personal questions lest I open some old wounds, or worse.
One thing she shared was that she was new in town, and moved here to finish school. She knew few people and was having trouble finding work. A downer, to be sure, but not the end of the world (as I saw it). She’s living with family, has reliable transportation, and is still in contact with her friends back home. However, since school started she’s been slowly becoming a bit more withdrawn, although it’s hard to tell: she’s very quiet and shy to begin with, so the effect is subtle. My wife and I took her to a local musical performance, which she seemed to enjoy; during it she mentioned she doesn’t get out much. I didn’t pay the comment too much attention.
Today she posted a link on Facebook to her blog. In it she discusses being suicidal, wishing she were dead or having never been alive. She discusses having no friends and nobody to talk to. She says she’s cried out, a small cry in an empty forest, all to no avail. Her misery is increasing.
Shocked, I went to her FB page and started poking around, something I don’t normally do. I finally learned what had caused this. I don’t think the details are important here. (Think gang rape, although that’s not it. However, equally devastating). She’s very open about all of this: what happened in highschool to cause this downward spiral, and now the effects as she’s nearing rock bottom.
I’ve never dealt with someone who is suffering like this. I suffered abuse as teenager an remember sitting in my bedroom wishing the world around me would simply vanish. I never had anyone approach me with a hand of friendship, and frankly I was so bitter and filled with hate at that point in life that I would have deeply distrusted anyone who would have tried to do so. So now, seeing someone else go through it… I have no idea how to help.
She’s admitted crying for help and receiving none. The simple act of putting a link to her blog on FB seem like a cry for help in itself. I fear she might do something to herself, or simply fade away into the background. She finishes school next term and will have to wait until next fall before transferring to a university to finish her undergrad. Six months of isolation and loneliness.
I want to help. I feel like I NEED to help. However, I don’t want to come across as someone who a) is trying to be a “nice guy” just to get in her pants, b) sympathetic out of obligation, or c) insincere… We’re only a couple of steps past 'acquaintance", but I’m guessing I’m all she has in this town. Obviously, I want to be able to actually offer something useful, whatever that may be. Not a “there, there. It’ll be ok.”
I don’t know what to do, but I’m getting worried about her and it’s pretty clear that she needs some sort of intervention.
Advice requested. Thanks.