A funny thing happened on the way home from the movies last night

…the Bell. Screech is there too, but I liked him better in Made. Anyway, that’s about when the wacka-wacka porn music kicks in…

… and Martha Stewart walks by with a glue gun and a hand full of…

dried flower petals, which she carefully affixes to Brian Denehy’s now-naked back. She then disrobes, revealing…

… that she has “Property of the Hells Angles” tattooed on her left …

over’s basket, which she has filled with goodies from yesterday’s show. She takes out an enormous…

plumber’s helper, which she has cleverly decorated to resemble a marital aid. She inserts it…

into the toilet, which is…

gurgling in time with the porn score: “boom chica now now, glug glug. Ah-boom chicky nooow-now, glug-glug.”

When the toilet is satisfied, Martha removes her rubber facemask to reveal that she is not Martha at all, but she is in fact…

… Herb Ferdenheimer, Butcher to the Stars. He was busily hacking up a rump roast for…

The Los Angeles Cannibal Association. When he says
“rump roast”, he MEANS…