Frustrated, Johnny urinates in his teacher’s purse.
(In what forsaken universe is twelve minus three equal to fifteen?)
"If Clarence took fair Gwendoline out for an auto ride
And if at 60 miles an hour one kiss to capture tried
And quite forgot the steering gear on her honeyed lips to sup
How soon could 20 men with brooms sweep Clare and Gwennie up?
Oh, oh, oh!
Put down six and carry two
Gee, but this is hard to do
You can think and think and think till your brains are numb
I don’t care what teacher says, I can’t do the sum"
I Can’t Do The Sum (1903) from Babes in Toyland by Victor Herbert
You can’t take three from two,
Two is less than three,
So you look at the four in the tens place.
Now that’s really four tens
So you make it three tens,
Regroup, and you change a ten to ten ones,
And you add 'em to the two and get twelve,
And you take away three, that’s nine.
Is that clear?
New Math by Tom Lehrer
Poor dyslexic Bobby thought today’s quiz was on Lepidopterology.
But there IS always a place for everyone, Johnny grew up to work for the Office of Management and Budget.
The local bank tellers all learned to disappear when Johnny’s teacher came in “because of an error in the bank’s statement”.
Wow, every single caption was great. You’re all winners in my book.
But, alas, there can only be one victor. And for digging up a reference to Victor Herbert, I’ll pass the torch to @Bonum_Legatum. See if you can come up with something that will be remembered 119 years from now!
Thank you. Cat pictures seem to be popular, so…
“What are you all looking at? You’ve never seen a dude with a pussy before??”
Old Mr. Johnson had troubles of his own,
He had a little cat that wouldn’t leave his home.
Even his whiskers have whiskers!
When he finds that mouse who lives in my pubes, things are going to get really lively here.
“I call him Kuato“
SCP 1701: Living Beard
cat got your tongue
That cat has the bushiest tail I’ve ever seen.
“Fluffy! So that’s where you been the last seven years!”
“Take the damned pitcher. My pussy is getting the willies.”
Cat pictures bring out the best, making it difficult to choose. Let’s go with
24 hours and no reply.
Furryman, please take over.
Dammit! Just came up with the perfect caption:
Now you know why they call me furryman.
