Probably at work now. Or he’s having trouble deciding between so many brilliant entries.
I knew it. 
[not an entry] That’s OK. It’ll all come out in the wash.
[same] I’ll bet my wit is dryer that yours.
I think the others in the game should sort it out.
Sorry to miss the deadline, folks. I WAS at work, then was too exhausted to remember when I got home. ANYWAYS…
running_coach, you’re up.
Although I did consider docking you for starting that spate of laundry detergent puns (some of which were award-winningly AWFUL).
I merely contributed to the thread. It was The Prof. who hijacked the thread. I merely followed his lead.
Anyway, here you go everyone.
Alright, fellow Vampires! That was a wonderful effort! Now, for our next team-building exorcise, let’s see if we can get together in the form of a Giant Panda!
Geoffrey knew things were going to be tough when Toys “R” Us went belly up, but frankly thought that Mitt Romney sending his minions around was kind of a dick move.
“I don’t mind them peckers except when they fly at such a breakneck speed.”
On the 8th day, God created Giraffes from proto birds He wasn’t too crazy about.
Damnit, Thanos!
Good job, Elmer. I was working on this very lead.
And so, with the onset of ever speedily increasing climate change, the process of evolution can be shown to have accelerated even faster.
Look! On the Serengeti! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a giraffe!
Balloon animals just didn’t cut it after Jocko the birthday clown learned to control birds with his brain.
“No, you’re not seeing things. Leopards change their spots too. All the time.”
Little known are the great PirhannaBirds of Africa. They have been known to eat an entire giraffe in under 2 seconds.
M.C. Escher’s African safari vacation slides.
“And now Fox News will present the facts behind the ongoing mass extinction myth.”
“Loved the Fox News show. Pigs don’t fly.”