I wish more people were like Jack Benny.
Puns can be surprisingly inventive though, and genuinely funny. I love the one (keep in mind this was from a British humorist, so you have to imagine it in BrE pronunciation) about the young man who was manipulated into meeting his unreciprocally-beloved’s parents in the altogether. The lesson to be taken away is:
Never undress to meet the Pa of a woman.
Okay, if you think of a funny one, let us know.
I think the last funny pun I heard was in kindergarten.
If you want a joke to be recognized as such when it’s too subtle for the words alone to make it clear, you need to give some other pointer that your words are in the Joke Context. I find that a jocular tone of voice does the trick – not overly Phil Hartman about it, just a bit merry – you’re already amused, and want to let others in on the joke. It’s also effective, though easily becomes overkill, to emphasize a key word in your delivery: “I can’t describe how small my vocabulary is!” Or perhaps you’ll have to use a more evocative phrase: “I can’t think of a word for how small my vocabulary is!”
If your audience doesn’t get your jokes–particularly puns–the problem is they are not bright enough. This will not change.
Test them with this joke:
A termite walks into a pub and says, “Is the bartender here?”
Or maybe they just aren’t punny enough?
But in all seriousness, I don’t really get the point of the OP. Maybe your audience doesn’t find you funny. Maybe they do find you funny but don’t feel the need to chest thump you every time you throw out a zinger. Why do you care?
I don’t get it. I guess I fail the test?
Well, wouldn’t a termite want to know if the bar was tender? Badump-bump!
The two I use when my jokes fall flat are either, “I’ll put up a flag next time,” or “We’re here all ze veek” (in a German accent, like the old Volkswagen commercials.) Sometimes I add, “Don’t forget to tip the veal.”
The last two jokes bombed for different reasons: number two because it was barely funny (you could’ve followed it up with some thoughts: “Enlightening, even…sparked a lot of ideas…” etc.) and didn’t do the best thing a pun can do, which is to make sense in two different ways simultaneously. The third one was inelegantly phrased.
But some jerk stole your thunder for the first one. When people do that to me, I get a sarcastically wide-eyed look on my face, as if I’m just realizing the joke, and say, “OOOOoooohhh! Riiiiiggghhhht!” It’s totally obnoxious, but then people start laughing at the person who stole my thunder at least.
For a real life example, instead of one I just made up, remember when Julio Aparicio got gored?
and so I go “I guess the bull found him…unpalatable?” and everyone goes “Uh hu.” I should’ve launched a flare, I tells ya.
In this situation I would use the (my name) Rule of Bad Taste. Some topics are inherently sad or tragic, so any joke has about a 50% less chance of being perceived as funny. In these cases, I would completely change the subject if I really, really wanted to make a joke here, but usually I would just let this one pass and wait for a better opportunity.
Dude, the thing is, you’re really not that funny.
The “jokes” you supplied in your OP are at best, mildly amusing and by “mildly” I mean “not really at all.”
Posters in this thread have already given you some tips on timing and understanding your audience and then you trot out another lame-o attempt. Do you really expect a loud burst of uproarious laughter in response to your cleverness?
I can’t help but think of the inept guy who isn’t cool but tries to be and winds up coming across as an insufferable doofus.
Well substitute “inept guy” with “you” and “cool” for “funny” and maybe you’ll get my point.
Though actually maybe the example can stand as written.
Look, I don’t mean to be overly harsh -seriously- but your example proves you still know nothing about comedy.
And there’s nothing funny about that.
Know that scene in one of the (every?) Austin Powers movies where he makes a pun, then the sidekick laughs - then he makes another pun, and the sidekick laughs - then he makes a third pun and the sidekick chuckles - then he makes a fourth pun and the sidekick just kinda looks at him?
The sidekick “gets” the jokes. The problem is, the jokes are no longer funny, because the timing is destroyed. In fact, the joke was NEVER funny - it was simply that the timing in and of itself was mildly amusing. Your timing doesn’t exist anymore, because your jokes are probably now being telegraphed hours ahead of time, and everyone expects them.
What? The bull obviously found him palatable. If the horn had bounced off the roof of his mouth, that would’ve been different.
Even here, though, it’s a feeble pun, because it only works one way, and that barely.
Consider a classic pun:
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “does this taste funny to you?”
This one relies on the word “funny” having two meanings. The pun works both ways: if the cannibal means “funny” as in “ha-ha,” then he’s asking whether a clown remains hilarious even when ingested. If the cannibal means “funny” as in “strange,” then he’s asking if the meat has an off-taste.
Therefore the pun is hilarious.
Compare your pun to that.
“Unpalatable” doesn’t work at all either way: the bull pierced the palate, and the bull never even tasted the guy. “Palatable” works, barely, one way: if you stretch the language past the breaking point, then “palatable” could mean “able to be pierced through the palate.” But still the bull never tasted the guy, so there’s no way he could know whether the guy was tasty.
I do a lot of shotgun puns myself, just blasting them out and hoping once in awhile they’re funny. I get a lot of groaners, but once in a great while something kinda funny comes out of my mouth.
My wife dreamt that I was running a game with pirates, and I described how the pirates were fondling the breasts of female captives, and it was really creepy: she told me that I should never run a game like that.
“Don’t worry,” I answered. “My pirates are all about the booty.” She laughed, and then a moment later I looked confused, and continued, “Wait, are you saying my pirates shouldn’t treasure chests?”
My first pun has the double-meaning thing going on: both meanings of “booty” work in the sentence. In the second one, it only works one way, but it has the advantage of working in a weird way: “treasure chests” normally treats “treasure” like a modifier, but I made it work as a verb.
Unless you’re someone with a sense of humor like mine, in which case it has a 20% *greater *chance of being perceived as funny.