A hustler told me a bald face lie!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m heated, and almost 2K dollars poorer.

I used to play poker with this guy. He was the master hustler. He not only specialized in poker, but he also card counted in blackjack and seemed to have some kind of system of winning a lot of progressive slot jackpots.

He suddenly disappeared. He came back for a visit one day and I asked him what’s up. He told me he found some places that had beatable slot machines. He would not tell me the location, however. Fast forward a few months later, I became buddies with a guy who used to share motel rooms with him. This guy told me that the hustler moved down to Oklahoma, but wasn’t sure which casino.

Aha! A lead! I was able to track him down, like on my fourth try. Oklahoma has around 50 casinos, owned by Native Americans. I got skills!

I walked around playing a slot here and a slot there; and I looked about four rows of slots over and I see the hustler, and he saw me! I was like “great, I didn’t come down here for nothing” and I smiled. I thought he was going to come over and chat, but he literally ran towards the exit! He eventually did come back, and we conversed about an hour. I told him I was just passing through, and was on my way to New Mexico to visit friends.

I couldn’t hold back any longer, I asked him what brought him down there. He said the bingo machines, and told me if I hop on the machine on the 36th ball I have the edge over the house. Since then, I’ve made several trips down to Oklahoma, at various casinos. I lost money every time I went down there!

On the most recent trip, it dawned on me that he told a lie, so I won’t know the real reason why he’s down there! I can’t believe it, for once I was a sucker. What sucks about being a professional gambler is that you can’t trust anyone. Never again will I take my time and money chasing down something a freaking casino regular told me about. I will use my own judgment.

Well, on the bright side, I did score a very cool beanie hat on that journey. There was a Cherokee gift shop inside one of the casinos. It was owned by a lady who looked exactly like the woman who’s on the tub of Land O’ Lakes butter. How cool was that? The beanie had neat southwestern design. A real southwestern-designed hat made by real Native Americans, and not some faux-southwestern designed hat made by Chinese and sold by white men in Urban Outfitters.

I took a picture of me wearing the beanie, standing beside the owner. I posted it on facebook, my friends were so jealous!

2

Much better effort than some of your latest. Looks like you put some time into thinking out this one.

3

I doubt it has a spinner though. Post a picture & prove me wrong.

(If you do, I promise I’ll email a copy to The Cowboy Hall of Fame. Its another one of the many Really Cool places in Oklahoma.)

4

Sukkah! It’s every 46th ball. He was just using you to absorb some of the risk!

5

You lead such an amazing life. You should write a book. And you should stop posting these wonderful stories here so you can save them for that book.

6

Perhaps he did write a book and every so often he posts one of the stories as a form of viral marketing?

7

There is only one Master and he is called Wang-Ka.

8

Allow me to summarize:

You went to some casinos and lost some money.

Great story, bro.

9

It’s better than that. He stalked a creepy gambler to Oklahoma …

10

This is the part where the OP leaves and then we notice the envelope in the trash with an Oklahoma return address, and the bingo card on the desk, and the Land O’Lakes butter tub on the kitchen table next to the can of Beanie Weenee, and suddenly it hits us OH MY GOD HE MADE THE WHOLE THING UP ON THE SPOT and we all chase after him but it’s too late, he’s gone FOREVER!

11

This may or may not be relevant, since we don’t know if your hustler is actually a successful gambler, but “Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.”

12

Oh yeah… and the well-worn issue of Hustler.

13

The corn (in the OP) is as high as an elephant’s eye.

14

Damn you, I had to go back and reread the OP because I forgot how the Beanie Weenie was connected to the story.

15

Don’t forget the hat. He bought a hat… from a Native American!

Personally I rate her as the real hustler. I bet it wasn’t in anyway authentic and she just said whatever it took to make the sale. Probably spent her profits on Bud Light Lime too.:smiley:

16

Sorry I wasn’t clear dude. I meant you have to literally hop onto the machine to make it payoff on the 36th ball. I’ll be back in Oklahoma in a couple of weeks, go there and try it out and you’ll be really happy to see me when I get there.

17

Oklahoma, OK!

18

If I was stalking the most beautful woman in the world, the moment she crossed the Oklahoma state line she’d be dead to me!

19

Isn’t that what they do?

20

Sometimes they tell a beard faced lie.