This past weekend I went to Kentucky to do some magic tricks for the people waiting in line for the Haunted Forest we do every year for charity. Part of what I do involves a raccoon. Actually, it’s just a raccoon skin with a spring inside it. I manipualte the spring and tail and make it look like it’s alive. The official name for it is Rocky Raccoon (that’s what the manufacturer calls it) but I named mine Bandit.
Bandit was doing a good job. It was getting people’s attention for me to do my other tricks and calming down the younger kids who were getting scared about going into the woods. Then it happened. I was doing my bit with Bandit, showing the crowd the tricks I’ve taught him: sit up, play dead, and stay. I set him on a hay bale and said “Stay!” Of course Bandit obeyed because he’s just a spring and some fur. The group laughed a little at this and I reached into my pocket to get my deck of cards. Just then I saw a flash of black from the corner of my eye and turned in time to see Bob, a neighbor’s labrador retriever take off with Bandit in his mouth.
We found most of Bandit the next day.
The memorial services will be held Wednesday, and I’ll be buying a new raccoon (maybe a skunk too) on Thursday.
So should I name the new raccoon Bandit, Jr? And what’s a good name for a skunk if I get a skunk too?
Considering the owner, I’m surprised the lab isn’t named Dog.
And here’s a thought that just popped into my head - we never found the spring that was inside of Bandit. I wonder if the dog ate it, and if so, would the dog’s shit then be able to go downstairs like a slinky?
I may name the skunk “Little Bit” after my virtual wife. But I guess naming a skunk after her would land me on the virtual couch.
I’m trying to stay away from Flower as the skunk’s name because of the whole Disney assosciation there. I really really really really really really really really really really really really really loathe Disney.
Call the skunk something like Chanel or Avon or whatever perfume is popular these days. <shrug> I don’t wear the stuff, so I dunno what’s on the market…
How about Stinky for the skunk? Not too original but at least you could remember it.
BTW, this story just reminds me why I hate dogs so much. Cats are better. Dogs steal your things and destroy them. Cats just destroy them. See, one better. j/k
Along the lines of the spring-raccoon thing, there’s the skunk, a silver fox, a red fox, a black fox, and I think one other type of animal.
I’m getting a raccoon to replace Bandit, and I’d like a skunk. But if I have the extra cash I may also buy a red fox. If I do, I think I’ll name them after Dopers.
The new raccoon will be Little Bit, after my virtual wife. The red fox wil be Tally Ho after my virtual stripper-mistress. (You know, the whole fox hunting theme there)
Who could I name the skunk after?
BTW - the saddest part of the incident was two kids about 4-5 years old who thought Bob took off with a real raccoon right before their little eyes. Their mom and I tried to calm them down for about 10 minutes, explaining it wasn’t really my pet raccoon, it was just a coonskin with a big spring inside it.
OK everyone. You now have to come up with something better than Smokey and the Bandit II for my skunk and raccoon.
And little*bit it’s too bad you can’t make it down to Kentucky to see me do my tricks, most of which are slight of hand. If you could make it, you’d be able to see for yourself how good I am with my hands and fingers.
Well, CF, MY lab killed a REAL possum this weekend, and left it in the yard for me to dispose of. I don’t know who I feel sorrier for…you and your racoon, or me and my disposal problem.
Well, seeing as MY disposal problem consisted of finding the remnants of the raccoon skin the next day and tossing them in the trash can, my vote’s with you.
Crunchy, I will just have to take your word on your talented hands. From what I’ve heard so far, it seems you have quite a bit of experience using your hands to play with your furry little friends ;).
And in front of strange women & their children no less. :eek:
