As I type this, the front page of the message board shows a grand total of 499191 posts in all forums. Yep, 1/2 a million. You guys spend way too much time here. Go click on some advertiser banners.
Do I have to? Will the person who posts #500,000 get any sort of prize?
I can’t tear myself away from this damn place. I just keep coming back to see if anyone has responded to anything I’ve posted. I’m so pathetic.
Help me someone.
I can’t, I’m too busy posting to your thread.
Look whos talking!!! The man got a FREAKING NON-PAYING JOB here! L
UncleBeer spends way too much time here. 
UncleBeer, you need a vacation. Bad.
All right, if you little people continue to pick on me, I’ll hafta move this thread to the Pit. Or wait… I could just edit all your posts to achieve vainglory. I think that’s the ticket.
Fully 18% of those posts are by me, announcing that I’m moving a thread to MPSIMS.
Feh, you’re stooping to post over here with the “navelgazers” Manhattan? Sic 'em folks.
Damn, that means I only count for .0035136851% of the posts here. I feel so insignificant now!!! 
Well, as part of the Proletariat, I will take it upon myself to kick Manny’s ass straight outta MPSIMS!
Shoo!!!
what else are yo usupposed to do at work?
::sniffs, flicks away a sentimental tear::
Hot damn, makes you proud, doesn’t it? I mean, think of all that time we could have spent actually working, curing cancer, eradicating injustice, war and poverty, but danged if we didn’t devote ourselves to fighting ignorance!
UncleBeer, before you decry the count, just remember the umpteen-odd (very odd) pages “Guy Stuff” alone ran.
Veb
Only 150 … er… 149 to go now…
Why didn’t you pick 500,000 to commemorate, and put it on a thread with a better title, so someone would notice.
Instead, you went off prematurely at 499191.
Was it really that pressing you couldn’t hold it in for 2 days?
Nah, don’t run manny off;…let’s get him drunk and wheedle some hot market tips out of him.
As for myself…,well, I can quit any time I want to.
UncleBeer’s strokin’ himself to vainglory.
I knew he couldn’t handle even the simpest of tasks.
You know, Unclebeer, here you are complaining about the number of posts up here, but you seem to have forgotten something, or maybe you didn’t care:
There are VERY few people who have as many posts as you do. So while my posts (I don’t remember how many I have) may be about a hundred or so, you have over 3000. I’d watch who I was blaming 
How long has MPSIMS been around? On this site directly, I mean. Not on AOL or any other non-straightdope.com stuff.
Did anyone else read that post the same way?
Simplest? (sic)
…fold fingers, grasp nearest appendage–NOT the toe…
::UncleBeer, yodelling a la Marjoe Gortner::
I’ve reached it! Vainglory! I’ve seen the LIGHT! Yesss!
HALLEUJIAH!
Forget the mug, this comes ::koff:: with the mod thing?
Veb
VB, proud and honored to shamelessly pad his post count to help achieve the magical 500,000, does a barrel roll and a hammerhead stall (with smoke) for Unca Brewski, even though he has issues…