A little contest

Well, in the interests of avoiding a post count party and stopping Drain Bead from belittling me anymore than necessary, I’ve decided to run a little contest. The prize will be either a) a free cup at the keg party I’m planning on having at the end of the month, or b) something else I’ll decide on later (which may very possibly be a big fat helping of nothing). If you choose a), be forewarned that this prize package DOES NOT include airfare, travel expenses, room and/or board, or any actual guarantee that the party will take place. It DOES include a night of drinking in the near-wilderness of outlying Springfield with people you’ve never met and the off chance you’ll see me get half-tanked and start singing. Probably “Banditos”, by The Refreshments.

Here’s the Rules. 1) Scoring will be completely subjective. Think Whose Line Is It Anyway?. If I don’t like you, you’re going to lose. Lump it. 2) I’ll check in periodically to rate the responses. At least until 4:30 CDT. I don’t check in on the weekends. 3)Cheat or copy all you want. I don’t care.

Anyway, here’s the question. It’s essay.

In 2500 words or less, tell why Flyp kicks ass. (Answers with attached pictures of naked female breasts will be awarded 600 bonus points. If there’s a schwanz anywhere in a picture, the response will be docked 6,000,000 points.) Alternately, tell why Flyp sucks. (I probably won’t really take the time to score these obviously hateful and unfounded accusations, but it might be worth a laugh to read them, you simpletons.)

Dazzle me, people!

Yeah, but what does the WINNER get?

Ahh… hell with it. I’m not waisting my time just to boost your obviously fragile ego. Just send me the damn cup.

Flyp rocks because he let me stay at his place when I got Spiffled. And puts up with me harassing him in chat with a trout. And besides, anyone who loves Dave Matthews as much as I do kicks ass on general principle.

And since I’m at work, I can’t attach a picture, but…

( * Y * )

That’ll have to do, hon. smooch

Whammo is kicks ass sooo much, well, geez…he’s awesome.

Boy, if I were half as cool and ass kicking as Whammo, I’d be known as…Wham

Oh wait…wrong guy.

What did I win?

Flyp rocks due to his apparent scorn of the letter “i” in his username. Also, because I want to win.

Flypsyde rwles cwz hy yschwz ywzyng vwwylz.

Flyp rules because he lives in the same town as me, yet only he had the chutzpah to suggest a Straight Dope gathering here.

Flyp rules because he got upwards of 30 people to attend a Straight Dope gathering in a smallish city, and word-on-the-street is that said gathering has been one of the better ones.

Flyp rules because he re-introduced me to the wonderful world of horseshoes, which I had forgotten about during those years that I lived in Missouri :eek:

Flyp rules because he once told me his real name.

And, lastly, Flyp rules because he has never said anything bad about rastahomie, at least to his face :D.

So where’s the party…

And since pictures are now verböten on this board, I’ll “draw” one:

(º)(º) (Perky, aren’t they?) hee hee hee