(I knew I should have checked this thread earlier this evening)
::Sprays lemonade out his nose::
::Applauds. Holds up sign reading “9.8”::
::Holds up sign reading “7.5”::
You are all terrific, but I gotta hand it you, Caught@Work.
The elevator bit was bloody hilarious. Too bad I didn’t see it when I was still working at a place with an elevator.
A couple of other suggestions:
Look closely at the permit/inspection certificate and say “This is a fake.”
When the person ahead of you pushes a button and asks you “What floor?” …say “Surprise me. I’m just along for the ride.”
Things I’ve actually done just for fun:
Twice with Jehova’s Witnesses and once with Mormons…when they knock on the door I invite them in. I let them do their little spiel and then we get into a lengthy discussion of spirituality in which I try to convert them to my beliefs. It’s stimulating to me and an excellent waste of their time.
Stand with a friend on a sidewalk, pointing to the top of a tall building. Every passerby will look; some actually stop and stare for a minute or two.
When I’m on the receiving end of a wrong number, the caller usually says “Is _____ there?” or “Who is this?” I always answer: “It depends. Who wants to know?”
When I get a telemarketing call, my response varies:
- “No speak English.”
- “I’m so glad you called. I have a deal that you cannot afford to pass up. My I have a few minutes of your time?”
- (if it’s one of those “free vacation” scams) “You know, I’ve just never really wanted to go there.” or “Oh, I’ve been there. Lemme tell ya, it ain’t all that.”
I met my first girlfriend (at age 13) making prank phone calls. She sounded nice, so I just started chatting with her. We ended up dating for nearly a year.
Life is short: make fun of it,
TN*hippie
Then there was the guy who sent a <i>bon mot<i> in to the local paper every Monday for two and a half months. He hoped the editor would like his work and one would end up in the paper, but. . .
no pun in ten did!
::rimshot::
Thanks, folks! I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
A friend just e-mail me this:
“There probably aren’t many Jewish girls dancing at Radio
City Music Hall, but it doesn’t take a Rockette Zionist to
figure that one out.”
–Gary Hallock
A blonde is rowing a boat in the middle of a wheat field. Another blonde drives up and get out of her car. She hollers to the other blonde, “You know your making all blondes look stupid. And if I knew how to swim, I would come out there and kick your ass!”