My husband is driving me INSANE!!
God love him, he’s having surgery in the morning to repair a ruptured disc that he has had for the past ten years and he is VERY nervous, anxious, confused, worried about his buisness, and in pain. Do you think he can admit this? NO!!! He feels the need to be snide and very close to hurtful rather than share some honest feelings. He actually complained about the refridgerator being too dirty because there were 3 drops of sticky tea on the bottom!
I’m wondering why in the hell he is being so mean to the person who is going to be taking care of him?? Where’s the logic in that?
I’m worried about the fact that I am breastfeeding my baby and am going to have to be away from him for 6 hours after not feeding him all night and I really don’t want to wake him up at 4:30 to eat. I have a feeling I’m gonna be sitting in a waiting room with huge wet circles on my t-shirt and people snickering at me behind thier hands. Please don’t let me forget my nursing pads! I should go put those in the bag now…Sorry thinking out loud.
Not to mention that we have no insurance (we are that couple you hear about on the news all the time…self-employed, can’t afford to pay for insurance…yadda yadda, so I cannot begin to tell you how much debt we are going into for this…I’m about to set up a big jar at the 7-eleven for donations.
Nice to meet you, too, Darby. Tell your husband to lighten up (or, if that’s not possible, try not to actually strangle him). Hope things get better for you soon.
As to no insurance: Been there, done that, huge debts, credit destroyed. I have no suggestions, but it really sucks, doesn’t it?
Sorry to hear about your problems. I hope everything comes through alright. And I’m not sure if you were really looking for a reply, but here’s my $0.02. I’ve never breastfed before, so I can’t realte to that. But, about the wet circles on the t-shirt, very little is funny at a hospital at 4:00 in the morning. Trust me, I know. About your husband being an ass, he’s a guy. Most of us do it at some point or another. We get scared, and instead of expressing our feelings, we get mad. We’re not sure how to handle it. The best thing you can do is just remember that he doesn’t really mean it. It’s a lot harder than it sounds, but that’s about all you can do. I know this isn’t much(read “any”), but it’s something. Hope you get through this all right.
Nice to meet you, Darby. Welcome to the board, also known as Dopeville! I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a rough time right now. Try to not let hubby get to you too much, as Aglarond said, it’s a guy thing. He’ll get over it soon, no doubt.
Don’t forget your nursing pads! <Just a friendly reminder for you.>
Wish I could help you out with the money issues, have you checked into whatever agencies are in your area to see where you might find some help with that? Start in the Yellow pages. Good luck with that. Hope your hubby’s surgery goes well for his sake, and yours. Take care of your baby too.
{{{{{{DarbyV & family}}}}}}
Welcome, Aglarond! Howdy! I take it you’re a guy, so natch you wouldn’t have ever breastfed before! Unless there’s something you need to tell us? :eek: <JK>
Ok, Chief, be nice to the newbie! Has Diane sent you that blow up doll yet? wink Need any other suggestions?
Darby, welcome. Sorry about the problems, I hope that this will help: Per my wife, who know everything Cecil doesn’t know and then some (she’s worked in insurance and hospitals), says that hospitals are happy to work out a payment plan, usually with no interest. Some money slowly is better than none ever.
Hi. Good luck to you and your husband, but take into consideration that he is nervous, scared, whatnot. Lighten up and point his behavior out to him when he’s regained his sanity. Chances are you’ll get through a lot better once he’s through the surgery and home again. Tell him you didn’t appreciate his attitude and remind him that you will always be there for him and support him. Tell him it’s okay for him to share his feelings with you, you being his wife and all, and you promise to never tell his buddies about him crying on your shoulder. And, if all else fails, remember this: mad sex is the best sex. Welcome to the board, hope you enjoy your stay.
Just a side note- I work for a national non proffit agency that provides afordable health insurance. Where do you live? I may not be lisenced where you are, but I can look up rates in your state and refer you to someone who can help you. Cat, I might be able to help you, too. Just send me an e-mail.
Hello Darby! (Cool name, BTW.) People who are usually very self sufficient and independent (since he is self-employed I would gather this fits your hubby) have a very difficult time being “taken care of.” As you said, he’s also anxious and afraid, something that wouldn’t put me in the best mood (and I wouldn’t admit it either.)
There’s not just the surgery, there’s the expense, but most importantly there’s the loss of independence (even if only temporarily.) His picking a fight could be based on some resentment (I mean, you’re not going to lose your ability to care for yourself.) Or it could be a way of distancing himself from you, I know in my family before my Dad would go away on a business trip my parents would fight. It was just a way of dealing with the separation.
And just to prepare you for the worst, I think that is would be unrealistic to expect a grateful hubby even after the surgery. He’ll be too busy dealing with all of the adjustments he’ll have to make to notice that you are knocking yourself out caring for both him and your child. Though I am certain that you will no doubt qualify for sainthood following this ordeal, don’t expect hubby to be praising you until this experience is a long ago memory.
Also, be sure to be open to others offers of help. (If they don’t offer-recruit them!) Don’t be a martyr, it’s neither fun nor healthy. Try to get some “just for you” time even if it’s only a 15 minute walk outside. Good Luck! Franklin
About your husband being an ass, he’s a guy. Most of us do it at some point or another. We get scared, and instead of expressing our feelings, we get mad. We’re not sure how to handle it. The best thing you can do is just remember that he doesn’t really mean it. It’s a lot harder than it sounds, but that’s about all you can do. I know this isn’t much(read “any”), but it’s something. Hope you get through this all right.
I take it you’re a guy, so natch you wouldn’t have ever breastfed before! Unless there’s something you need to tell us? :eek: <JK>