A Matter of Bathroom Ettiquette

What would posess a man to leave a urinal unflushed?

A cow-orker and I have both noticed this habit occuring in our work place – as in you walk up to take a whiz and there’s a pretty yellow surprise waiting for you. We’ve developed three theories:

1 - Stupidity – they think it’s an auto-flushing urinal. This seems unlikely because a) there’s a friggin’ flush-handle on the thing for a reason, and b) unless we have a steady stream (no pun intended) of new people working here, how many times would you have to go through the process before you figured out the thing doesn’t flush itself?

2 - Laziness – speaks for itself. Some people, harrumph.

3 - (this is my current front-runner) It’s the goddamned Germ-a-phobes!

What’s with these people who refuse to touch anything in a restroom lest they get the creeping crud? At the very least, couldn’t they throw an elbow around so I don’t have to look at their pee?

They’re conserving water? I’ve got friends who don’t flush if it’s urine-only.

This was what I though of first.

I’m not a germ-a-phobe but why is your fear of yellow water more important than a germ-a-phobes fear of touching the handle?

They’re germophobic enough that they don’t want to touch the handle to flush the urinal, and classless enough to leave their urine behind for the next guy to deal with.

Or, there’s a drought on.

It’s better than the urine being all over the wall or floor.

Water conservation. It’s a problem out here. I don’t flush pee unless it smells bad.

In the company rest room? That’s a little gross.

There’s definitely not a drought here, so I don’t think that’s it. Although, I don’t discount the possibility that some uber-conservationist thinks he’s saving the planet by making me look at his puddle of pee.
As for this:

I’m not afraid of stagnant pee, but it’s kind of unpleasant to look at.

We’ve had some scary droughts in this part of the world. It’s part of the mindset.

“If it’s brown, flush it down. If it’s yellow, let it mellow.”

Some people have that as their motto at home, sometimes because of a weak septic system or something. It wouldn’t surprise me if they subconsciously brought that policy into the office.

Maybe it’s the same people who walk up to the urinal, flush it, and then start peeing?

To all the germaphobes out there: I purposefully pee on the flush handle, faucets, and door handles in public bathrooms.

All at once?

Damn. That’s some impressive control you got there.

Well I tend to hold it for a while, so when it’s time to go…

I am convinced that a not-insignificant portion of the population have a sort of BPD with regards to bathroom behavior (Bathroom Personality Disorder?). The relative privacy, anonymity and association with genitalia, the anus and excrement make it kind of a Las Vegas for weirdos, I reckon. I sometimes wonder what goes through some of these people’s minds, although I’m sure I’d be alarmed if I found out.

Probably something along the lines of “If I piss all over the seat, maybe it’ll stop the voices from telling me to kill everyone” or “I hate Edna in Accounting, therefore, I’ll smear shit all over the bathroom stall” or whatever.

This happens in my office building all the time. It is beyond my understanding. I am pretty sure “lazy” is the answer most of the time.

It is worse when a toilet hasn’t been flushed, though. But equally common.

Since no one has posted this I think it’s necessary that I do so.

Male’s restroom etiquette

“If it’s yellow, let it mellow,
If it’s brown, flush it down”

Seriously though, even in Ireland we don’t have many flush urinals.

They just flush every now and again once enough urine has built up.

I usually flush right away unless I’ve recently consumed asparagus. What is that all about?

I think the asparagus thing is genetic.

Just a couple of months ago I sat down on the toilet at work and there was a brand new sign on the back of the door saying “Please Flush”- not a homemade sign, either, they had had it made! I didn’t realize it had been a problem, which led me to be paranoid that it was me apparently not flushing the toilet. But then I rationalized that I am way too anal- there is no way I would not flush the toilet.

It’s not me!

I’m really, really irritatated with people who refuse to touch anything in the public restroom. Mainly because, in the women’s bathroom, woman who wont touch are likely to hover and pee on the seat. Arrrggg. Then I come along. You know what I do?

I sigh, and I wad up some tp, and I wipe off the seat. I clean up some stranger’s urine. You know why? Because there’s a freakin’ sink, people! My hands will get washed! Your hands will get washed! Eventually, so will your ass! Sit on the fucking seat! Don’t be the grown up who can’t get their pee in the toilet, like a five year old, and I have to clean up after! AAAARRRRRGGGGG!

Sorry, pet peeve